


Wrong number

by crazyTXgradstudent



Series: Jana and Michael [1]
Category: Michael Fassbender - Fandom, Michael Fassbender/Original Female Character - Fandom
Genre: Childhood Sexual Abuse, Depression, Drug Abuse, F/M, Forgiveness, Military, Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-06 10:08:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 52
Words: 78,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1854154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyTXgradstudent/pseuds/crazyTXgradstudent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when you get a random text? To respond or not - that is the question ;-)</p><p>Rated Explicit for future anticipated reasons. Very, very slow burn...</p><p>Also - don't let the crappy first few chapters throw you off. Writing down a text conversation  was harder than I thought. It gets profoundly better as you go along :-)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so I am not a very good writer! Just had this floating in my head and needed to get it out! I haven't edited or really reviewed it for errors! Not sure if it's going any further and how far that would be... Any comments, advice, criticism is greatly appreciated! Please be kind :-)

**_“Just wondering if you ever feel the way I feel. Whoever you are.”_ **

Jana looked at the text again, the bright light of her cell phone screen filling up the darkly lit room.

**_“Just wondering if you ever feel the way I feel. Whoever you are.”_ **

What did that mean, Jana wondered. Besides that, who the hell was this texting her? She did not recognize the number. Surely it was meant for someone and whoever sent the text seemed to be feeling pretty bad. Jana stared at the screen, contemplating on whether or not to delete it. She had gotten plenty of wrong numbers before – who hadn’t? She never gave them a moments thought.

Something about this one struck a chord with her, although she couldn’t put her finger on it. Maybe it was because she was tired as all fucking hell?

The thought of texting back began formulating in her head. What if she texted back? What would she say? Should she just say the usual “Sorry wrong number..” or should she delete it.  Should she cuss this jackass out for waking her up? She was finally able to get to sleep at a decent time - and stay that way - and that was a rarity. Until this damn text message. Jana decided she would just text back to let the person know it was the wrong number and get back to sleep. Work would come early tomorrow and she was already up well past her bedtime at 1:32am. Holy crap it was late, she thought.

She moved her fingers down to the keyboard and began texting …

**_Jana: Sorry wr_ **

Then the thought occurred to her, what if this was someone in need and she could help them out by sending a simple word of encouragement? What kind of person sends out a text like that and doesn't need someone to help? Would that be too weird? It certainly sounded weird. The whole thing was weird. It was like some great big cosmic weird text message and she was the lucky recipient. Damn her nosiness, she snorted!

But still the thought remained -  what if she could help this person? In whatever tiny way possible, what if she could but she deleted it instead?

Oh my gosh, Jana thought, what if they killed themselves? Would she be an accessory to suicide? Was that even a crime???

Okay, Jana thought to herself. One little text back just to make sure no ones’ suicidal or something. Then her conscience woils be appeased and she could get to sleep. One text and then it’ll be done. She erased what she had previously texted and began typing her response.

**_Jana: I am sorry but you must have the wrong number. Anyways, just wanted you to know that everybody feels bad sometimes and you are not alone. Hope everything is ok._ **

Ok that was way too weird she thought. Would the other person think she was a crazy person texting back when they didn’t even know each other?? Better yet why was she worried about being thought of as a crazy person – she didn’t send the text in the first place! Should she delete it and never send it at all? No, to hell with it, she thought, I am just going to send it and be done with it. Then maybe I can get some sleep. Jana pressed the button and her phone chimed its customary ding, letting her know the message had been sent. She pushed the power button, shutting off the light on her phone and laid it on her nightstand and attempted to go to sleep.

Her screen lit up. Jana looked over at her phone out of the corner of her eye. She got another text message. Yes, she did. Great, they are probably wondering why I texted them back like a weirdo. She  reached over, picked up her phone and read the text:

_**Thank you, whoever you are. You have no idea what that means to me.** _

What in the holy hell. Who was this?? They actually responded?? Now what?

Another text message..

_**What time is it where you are? I hope I didn’t wake you.** _

What the freak….Jana thought..of course you woke me, jackass! It’s 135am!! She had to get up in less than 4 hours and she was going to be dying at work. Should I text them back? Jana thought, or let it be? She could be honest with herself and admit she was a little curious to know who was texting. A little curious, she snorted. She was nosy as hell. Would she ever get to sleep? Jana decided she would answer the text and this would be the absolute last time, then she would go to bed.

No if, ands or buts. Last time.

**_Jana: Yes, it’s kinda late here, 137am my time._ **

Jana pressed the send button and waited. Now she could admit it freely to herself, she was curious if they would text back. Surely they wouldn’t after finding out what time it was. Right? Right?? Normal people don’t text at 130am.

“Normal,” she snorted again to herself. “What kind of normal person texts back to-“

And they did…

**_Oh shit I am sorry! It’s 4:30pm here. So sorry to interrupt your sleep_ **

4:30pm?? Where the heck were they texting from? Is that on the other side of the country? Of the world? That must have really been a wrong number.

**_Jana: Where are you texting from if it’s 4:30pm?? That’s crzy!_ **

God why did she text that?? Why did it matter? It would never end now..

**_Australia. Sydney to be exact. Where are you?_ **

Hmmm, Jana wondered. Should she answer that? What if it was some weirdo creep down the road and he was just messing with her? Surely her curiosity was going to be the death of her. She just knew it.

Fuck.

_**Jana: I am in Dallas TX.** _

There she texted again…

**_Jana: Don’t you think this is kinda weird? We don’t know each other and we’re still texting?_ **

And again…

Jana chewed on her fingernail, wondering what the next text would say –if there would be one. Maybe she just offended the person on the other line?? Oh my gosh why did she even care that she offended this stranger who sent her a random text that SHE RESPONDED TOO?

**_My name’s Michael. What’s yours?_ **

 

_**T** **hen we can know each other and not be strangers** _

Yeah this totally just went weird, Jana thought. Should she send him a text back?? Now she knew it was a guy – Michael – or so he says. Michael from Australia, Sydney to be exact. Why was she even contemplating this? What if he was a serial killer down the road and she was playing into his game??

 

_**Michael: I hope you don’t think I am a freak. I am a normal guy. I sent out a text to a random number, just to see if anyone would respond. Nothing behind it, other than me feeling a little homesick and a little sad. If you don’t wanna say your name that’s fine. If you want me to leave you alone, that’s fine too** _

Holy crap, he’s a mind reader now, and he sounded so sincere over text. Over text?? Jana thought, how the hell do you know someone over text?? Even Charles Manson was probably charming at one point. Jana shuddered, still mulling over what to do.

_**Michael: Ok stranger. I will bid you good night. I am sorry again to interrupt your sleep. Take care** _

What the hell??I thought he was homesick and sad? And now he was just going to end the conversation he started with her through his random text? Just like that, and it would be over. Just don’t respond she thought. Delete the conversation, chalk it up to weird and be done.

Gah, her damn curiosity is going to be the death of her. She abso-fucking-lutely knew it.

**_Jana: Jana_ **

There, she’d gone and done it now. Now the Charles Manson creepy creeperton knew her name. He probably knew where she lived. Jana was totally freaked out now and she’d done it to herself.

**_Michael: Ah Jana. Beautiful name_**

This fucking night would never end would it?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of a background on my OFC. Please tell me if I am horrible, or if I am doing anything right! Sorry this one is kinda long! Needed to get it all out...

Who was that singing about a crazy train? Why are they so loud? What the…

Jana cracked open one eye, realizing it was her iPhone alarm going off. She reached over, grabbed the phone and pushed the “ok” button, shutting off the alarm. She had it set to “Crazy Train.” It was fitting considering what she did every morning and why she got up so early. Army physical training at 0600 was not something she looked forward to. At all. Especially not this morning. She wiped the sleep from her eyes, trying to gain some semblance of wakefulness, and pushed the power button on her phone, bringing it back to life. She pushed the “message” icon and looked again at what was there.

_**“Ah Jana. Beautiful name”** _

That was the last text from Michael in Australia. She did not text him back after that, knowing that she needed to get some sleep and that conversation could very well go on all night. She glanced at the text once more before shutting off her phone again and laying it on the nightstand once more, willing herself to get up and out of bed. She was so tired this morning. Who was she kidding, she thought? She was tired every morning. Granted today would suck a little more due to last night’s text-a-thon, but she was always tired. Her docs called it depression. She didn’t quite know what it was yet. She still hadn’t gone there and faced that. For right now she would just call it tiredness.

She stumbled out of bed and into the tiny kitchen in her apartment. She headed over to the sink, and then to the ledge where her cocktail of pills was waiting. Take one before breakfast to help with depression. Take this one at night to help with anxiety. Take this one for tension headaches as needed. Same tune - different day. Were they helping? Who knows, she thought. She pulled one of the little blue pills out and popped it in her mouth before reaching for a glass of water. Swallowing it down she began to go about her day, walking to her tiny bathroom.

Every day was the same. She slept in her PT’s so that shaved off a few minutes of time. All she really needed to do was pull her hair back in its customary bun, brush her teeth, put on deodorant, and wash her face. It was a monotonous routine, but she did it. Every day she did it in that order. It felt like she was going through the motions every day. Since she lived so close to the post – like right outside the gates – she didn’t have to rush as much as others probably did. This routine worked for her. Routine and monotony were good – they kept her sane, knowing what was going to happen at every minute of the day.

Finishing up in the bathroom, she walked back into the kitchen and grabbed her keys from their usual spot on the counter. Glancing at the clock she saw that it was 0525. Five more minutes and she would need to leave in order to make sure she got there 15 minutes prior to formation. She wouldn’t eat breakfast before PT – if there was a run she couldn’t stomach it. This medicine and food plus heavy exercise did not bode well for her. She’d learned that the hard way. She grabbed another sip of water from the glass on the counter and headed out the door to her car.

* * *

 

PT was the usual. Accountability formation, salute the flag, and then fall out into your respective platoons and do whatever PT was being conducted that day. Today her platoon had decided to do release PT, which basically means “on your own.” Whatever you chose to do for PT was fine. It was a Friday, and after the deployment this had been the norm for some time. Giving soldiers extra leeway for a while, she guessed. Quite a few soldiers in the unit were still struggling – she knew this. She wasn’t the only one. Didn’t make it any easier, as nobody talked to anybody about what they were feeling. Or in Jana’s case not feeling. Jana decided to head to a lake nearby that had trails surrounding it. It was shrouded in heavy trees, so it somehow felt secluded. Even when she passed other runners or walkers on the trails, she felt like she was in her own little world, where no one would bother her. It was right across from the field where they held formation, so she took off walking that direction.

As she was walking, she heard someone calling her name.

“CPT Sears!” It was one of the lower enlisted, running in her direction. She really did not want to be talking with anyone this morning. She felt like utter shit.

SPC Johnston, another female in the company, ran up to her. The short, brunette girl a hopeful look on her face.

“Are you going down the trails this morning?” Johnston asked

“Yeah, need to clear my head..” Jana nodded to the younger soldier.

“Mind if I come with? I’ve got some stuff I’d like to talk with you about as far as re-enlisting and all that.” Johnston asked eagerly.

Jana definitely didn’t want to hear about reenlisting. To be honest, this kid’s enthusiasm was working her nerves.

“Do you mind if we do it later? I am not feeling so hot and really just want to sweat it all out.” Jana asked the younger girl.

“Oh.. ok, no problem ma’am.” Johnston replied. “What time is good for you? I’ll be back in at 0900 for work call. Can I stop by your office then?”

Jana did not want to burst this kid’s bubble, but she had no intention of coming back into work today. She really wanted to go back home, crawl in bed, and sleep for however long she could manage it. Yeah that is what she was going to do.

“Well I won’t be back in today unfortunately. I’ve got some things to take care of off post, some personal things. What about talking with SSG Everly?” Jana asked, hoping to pawn the younger soldier off on someone else. SSG Everly was the girl’s section sergeant and she could –and should- probably answer any questions Johnston had.

Johnston looked defeated, in the way that any young, hopeful soldier would when she’d just been disregarded.

“Oh ok. Yes ma’am, I’ll just do that then. Sorry to bother you.” Johnston nodded, and then turned and ran off, back towards the area of the company where the formation had been held.

Well hell. Now Jana really felt like a dirt-bag. That girl was full of hope and excitement to be reenlisting and wanted some advice and Jana just pushed her off on someone else. “Whatever..” Jana thought, as she headed off onto the trail surrounding the lake. She could feel the heavy humidity that comes from being under the canopy of the dense, tall trees surrounding the lake. Sweat began to form on her brow, and she could feel it on her arms. Good, she thought. Sweat some of this stuff out. Dallas humidity could be a good thing sometimes. Regardless, it’s not like she could have helped her anyway, Jana thought to herself. Better that she gets help from someone a little more stable right now, not a pill-popping, depressed, and unmotivated captain. At this point Jana would probably suggest that the young soldier go home and sleep as well. That’s all she could think about right now. Jana couldn’t recall when she really cared about anything. Not even getting pissed off any more about things that used to aggravate her. Hell, she has to take pills just to function in the morning! What was that like long ago when she used to feel excited to come to work?

Not liking the turn of her thoughts, Jana decided to go ahead and run. Run til she couldn’t breathe and run til she couldn’t think anymore. She would run til she was too tired to think. Yeah, that is what she would do.

* * *

 

Approximately 2 hours later, Jana finally returned home. She was mentally and physically exhausted. She had run for almost an hour and a half. Her legs felt like jello, and she was sweated through her clothes. Jana walked into her kitchen, grabbed the glass still sitting on the counter and refilled it with water. Drinking the whole glass down, she reached for the next pills, the vitamins. The docs said to make sure you take your vitamins and all that blah, blah, blah. Supposedly it would help whatever was wrong with her. To Jana it was just another task she needed to check off. Pills swallowed, check. Jana set the glass back down and headed for the small bathroom. She stripped off her clothes,  tossing them in the basket in the far corner of the small bathroom. She turned on the water as hot as she could get it, letting the steam quickly fill the room. Stepping in the shower, she felt the scalding water hit her back. Painful at first, it quickly became a welcome pain. She could feel the weariness leaving her body. Get it all out, she thought. Jana washed her hair and body, and then sat down on the little bench in the shower. She would do this until the water became cold. It was routine.

When the water finally became cold, Jana shut it off and wrapped herself in a towel. She dried off her hair and body, and got dressed in an old t-shirt and sweat pants. This would be her uniform today. Finishing up in the bathroom, Jana headed to the kitchen. She knew she needed to eat something. She opened the fridge and looked for her usual – Greek yogurt. It had protein and fruit. It was good enough. Although Jana didn’t feel like eating –she rarely did – she knew she needed to get something in. Those vitamins would make her sick on an empty stomach. Another lesson learned the hard way.

Janna grabbed the yogurt and headed over to the couch in the living room. This is where she would stay all day. She absentmindedly turned on the television. It was on news still. She quickly switched the channel. News was not something she chose to watch – not anymore at least. Too much stuff on the news that she simply couldn’t handle - at least not right now. Jana flipped to the usual station that had reruns of some old show she used to watch. This was safe. She would watch this all day. Janna had taken a few bites of yogurt when she heard her phone buzzing. She usually put it on vibrate during the duty day. It was probably someone from the unit. It was well after 1000, and she had already let the commander know she was busy today. What the hell did they want? Why couldn’t they just leave her be?? She walked over to her black backpack, digging in the pocket for her cellphone.

It wasn’t a call but a text.

Another text from that strange number from last night! From Michael.

**_Michael: Now it’s my turn to be up too late_ **

What the hell? she thought!! She quickly looked up on her phone what time it was in Sydney. It was 0130am his time now?! What the hell! She thought again. What was this guy playing at? Should she text him back? Why is he even still texting?? Her phone buzzed again.

**_Michael: you are maybe at work? Ok I’ll leave you be_ **

Jana chewed her nail – well, what was left of it at least. She really needed to stop chewing her nails, it was a nasty habit! Should she text him back? Really what else was there to do? At least she could make him suffer the way she had suffered by keeping him up all night texting! Jana moved her finger down to reply.

**_Jana: No I am not at work. Off today._ **

See how you like it being kept up all night, Jana thought to herself. Was it wrong that she felt a little gleeful knowing that she was interrupting his sleep the way he had messed with hers?

_**Michael: Fantastic! Then we can chat a bit more?** _

Huh? Chat more? That was not what she expected. Not in the least.  Did this guy not work? Probably not she thought, if he’s up texting random strangers all the time. She was imagining some older guy sitting in his mom’s basement texting random strangers and playing video games and –

_**Michael: So long weekend for you, or you work on the weekends?** _

Wow he was really persistent! Ok, if he wanted to stay up late, who was she to argue? What else was she gonna do today? Besides that, who says chat?

 ** _Jana: No, no work on weekends_**

One more text to appease her curiousity..

**_You?_ **

Let’s see what he says to that, she thought. Would he say he was some kind of spy or movie star or something else far-fetched, or would he admit he was a bum? Jana laughed a little to herself, thinking that this could be interesting. He hadn’t killed her overnight, so maybe he was really from Australia. Still…

**_Michael: I do occasionally work weekends. I have a weird job. Would rather not talk about that though if that’s alright?_ **

Haha! Just as she suspected – Michael from Australia was a bum, and probably living in his mom’s basement! While it was funny, it was a bit aggravating. Nothing Jana disliked more than someone who wouldn’t work. She really couldn’t stand lazy people, especially lazy men.

**_Michael: Is that ok? I won’t ask about your job, and you don’t ask about mine – just for the time being?_ **

Just for the time being! What a joke! Guess he would talk about a job if he had one, Jana thought, laughing a little to herself at the absurdity of this whole conversation. Okay, she thought to herself, she’d play this game for a while. What else did she have to do?

**_Jana: Ok that’s cool. No job talk. For now. Are you Australian?_ **

Why did she ask him that she thought?? Who cares if he’s Australian? He’s a bum in his mom’s basement for crying out loud!

**_Michael: No, not from Australia. Here for work. Born in Germany, but call Ireland home. You?_ **

Hmm, she thought. That was unexpected.

**_Jana: I am originally from Texas, born and raised in a small town on the Gulf, but now call Dallas home. Plain old American girl lol_ **

Why did she put that last part, Jana thought? This conversation – if you want to call it that – was supposed to be shallow and entertaining. A part of her now actually wanted to find out who this Michael – born in Germany, but calls Ireland home, and now in Australia for work – who this guy really was.

**_Michael: Nothing plain about American girls! I rather like the accent – especially the southern one. What do you call it – twang? Is that it?_ **

Oh my gosh! This was borderline flirting, Janna thought! Wasn’t it? He likes American girls’ accents? Especially southern accents? Does that mean he’d like the way she talked? Janna wondered did she even have an accent? What the hell?? Whatever, she was going to ignore that last text. Back to the basics she thought.

**_Jana: So Ireland is home. Where do you live in Australia, since you are working there?_ **

Yeah she could do this for a while she thought. Eventually she would find out the inconsistencies and call him on it. Just play the game a little longer…

_**Michael: I currently call a hotel my home. Complete shit. I hate this part of my job.** _

Interesting, Jana thought. She would like to travel the world – if that’s what he did. It’s what he alluded to, part of his job being living in hotel rooms. Jana thought that would be awesome. Never having to stop, never having to be tied down in one place. No one would know who you are, and once they learned you could just pick up and move on to the next hotel room.

**_Jana: We could switch places. I would love to live in hotels._ **

Why was she texting this stranger all of her thoughts? She needed to stop and think before she texted!

**_Michael: Trust me love it gets old. Never feel settled._ **

What the hell? Did he just call her love? Was that like a German, Irish, or now Australian thing? Jana couldn’t figure out if she should be offended or not! Was that something that all European guys say over text?

**_Michael: It’s not all it’s cracked up to be_ **

So he really didn’t like living in hotels. Poor guy. Maybe he should get a real job and then he could buy a house or something. Or maybe he was still lying and really did live in his mom’s basement. Lazy asshole. Either way, Jana was starting to get aggravated with the conversation. She had her own shit to deal with. Or not deal with. This random stranger was not something that she wanted or needed right now. She knew what it was like to never feel settled. She hadn’t felt that way in a long time and probably wouldn’t for an even longer time. She’d had enough for the day. One more text and she was shutting the phone off.

**_Jana: Well good luck with that Michael from Australia. Or Germany. Or Ireland, or where ever you are from. People have bigger problems than not liking living in a hotel. If you don’t like it, change it. Quit bitching about it._ **

With that she hit the power button and completely shut off her phone. Back to reruns it was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I am re-formatting the text dialogue to make it easier to read. Will probably go back and redo the earlier chapters. Forgive me! I literally try to get it all out as quick as possible so I don't forget the thoughts in my head!
> 
> Oh and I own nothing in any of these stories except my OFC :-)

Jana looked over at the clock on the wall. 2100. Time to take that anxiety pill. The one that was supposed to help her sleep.

After spending the majority of the day on the couch watching reruns of _Roseanne,_   Jana decided it was time to move to the bed. Really what difference did it make if she slept here or on the couch? Her sleep would be fitful as usual. She would wake up numerous times, and have trouble getting back to sleep. It was this endless nightmarish merry-go-round that she was on. One that she felt like she cold never get off of.

Walking over to the kitchen she grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with water. Reaching over the sink, she found the bottle of pills that would help her sleep somewhat. This time it was a little yellow pill. Another one swallowed - check. She set the glass back down on the counter top and reached over to shut off the kitchen light. She would leave the small light on over the sink. She could never completely shut off all the lights in the house.

Jana walked back into the living room and crawled back on the couch. She had decided during the walk from the kitchen back to the living room that she would indeed sleep on the couch.What did it really matter where she slept at? Tomorrow would be Saturday, she did not have to get up and go anywhere or do anything. She'd just lay here and hope for sleep to overtake her before too long.

Cell phone vibrating. Again.

This late and she had an idea of who it probably was. She really wasn't in the mood for this shit. Didn't he get the hint earlier this morning? She reached over to the coffee table in front of the couch, picked up her iPhone and hit the power button. Yes it was him. A-fucking-gain. Seriously he would not quit!

**_Michael: Sorry for being as ass earlier and bitching_ **

Another text from Michael..

...and then this popped up on her screen...

 

 

Jana laughed out loud! Really this was pathetic! She couldn't stop laughing at the absurdity of it all. What could she say to this? Okay she would play this game again for a while, as she was not going to get any sleep apparently.

**Janna: _K I forgive you. But only cause that pic is adorable_**

Jana sat back on the couch and covered back up with the blanket. Tonight's entertainment would consist of texting some random couch-surfing bum who lived somewhere halfway across the world in a hotel -at least according to him.

"My life is grand," Janna thought to herself. She absentmindedly flipped through the channels as she waited to see if he would text back or not. Finding another old rerun – _The Golden Girls_ – she set the channel and turned the volume down low. She never really watched the television shows – she just needed the background noise. When it was too quiet she tended to be more anxious. Having the television on felt like she wasn’t as alone somehow.

**Michael:** _**What a relief! I thought you had written me off for good!** _

**Michael: _So you like cartoons? I fucking love Shrek and Puss in Boots too_ **

**Michael: _You really forgive me? Didn’t mean to be so shitty earlier._ **

 

He was really spilling this time, Jana thought to herself. Maybe he wasn’t such a douchebag, but he was probably still living on someone’s couch. What kind of job required you to live in hotels so much that you hated them? A lawyer? No, probably not. What about those importer/exporter people? Did they travel like that? Weird….

He texted again.

**Michael: _U there?_**

Jana pulled herself out of her thoughts long enough to text him back.

**Jana: _yeah, just sitting here watching tv_ **

**Michael: _what are u watching_**

What hadn’t she watched? She had been camped out in front of the television for almost the past 12 hours now. Her day had mainly consisted of _Roseanne_ , and now she was watching _The Golden Girls_.

**Jan _a: The Golden Girls_ **

**Michael: _have no idea what that is??_**

Jana laughed again. How do you explain _The Golden Girls_ to some guy across the world? What the hell was she doing with her life? Was it the medication that was making her so giggly? Or was it the beer she chased down earlier combined with the medication? Jana would try to explain in some way…

**Janna: _It’s a show about these old women that live together, like a comedy_**

**Michael: _right ok, I will google it lol_ **

Jana giggled again. Now she had this same guy who could possibly be halfway around the world living in a motel googling _The Golden Girls_! Now he would see just how much of a loser she was, she chuckled to herself. What a fucking joke. It’s Friday night, and she’s sitting here on the couch watching old reruns and texting the hotel-couch-surfing bum. Again. Indeed her life was grand.

**Janna: _well? What did you find?_**

**Michael: _ur right. 4 old ladies. I don’t get it_ **

He really googled it! Jana laughed again to herself.

**Janna: _Where are you now? hotel still?_**

**Michael: _no at airport, heading back to NY_ **

What the hell? He really was traveling all over like that? Really now she wondered what kind of job did he have? Leaving Australia and heading back to NY? Back to the states. The states that she was in. Now she was a beginning to get a little freaked out.

**Janna: _no offense but why r u coming to NY?_ **

That wasn’t a rude question was it? Janna snorted – why did she care if it was rude? She didn’t even know this guy!

**Michael: _its where I live when I am not working love_ **

Holy shit he did it again! Called her love! Again she wondered if she should be offended? Was that like people in Texas calling other’s “honey” and “sweetheart?” Did it really mean anything?? She was about to find out.

**Jana: _why the fuck do you keep calling me love?_ **

The text didn’t come this time as quickly as she’d anticipated. A good fifteen minutes passed while Jana waited to see if this time she’d sufficiently pissed off this stranger for good. It was nearing midnight and the rerun was ending. Now she’d have to find another channel. Jana began surfing through the channels again when her phone went off.

**Michael: _Sorry, didn’t mean anything by it. It’s a habit I guess. I’ll refrain from doing it in the future if you’ll stop cursing at me. Deal?_ **

This asshole here. Who did he think he was! He had not only apologized but sufficiently chided her for her sailor’s mouth all in the same text!

**Michael: _I really mean no offense._ **

Hmphhh! Jana snorted.

**Jana: _What took you so long to text me back before?_ **

Jana decided she’d just disregard that whole text before. She’d say what she wanted when she wanted.

**Michael: _I was getting my boarding pass and going through security. The airport is always a bitch for me._ **

Ha!

**Jana: _Look who’s cussing now? “Bitch??” hmmmm…._**

**Michael: _You’re right love. Forgive me again?_**

**Michael: _;-)_ **

Hmmmm…that did not go as planned Jana thought. Completely backfired on her.

**Jana: _Touche…_**

**Jana: _now where are you?_ **

**Michael: S _itting in the waiting area, waiting for my flight. You still watching the old ladies?_**

**Jana: _Off now. Watching some home and garden show.._**

**Michael: _What time is it where you are? It’s got to be fairly late, no?_ **

Late was the understatement of the year. It was always too late where Jana was concerned. Or was it too early? When you have insomnia, what do you call the hours you spend vegged out in front of the television?

**Jana: _Yeah it’s after midnight._**

Just like any other day, Jana thought. Nothing new here.

**Michael: _Shit! I am sorry. I am keeping you awake again. I’ll let you go to sleep. Sorry again._**

**Michael: _I’ll text you again later when I am in the states. Our times will be easier to figure out then._**

It was in this moment that Jana realized she didn’t want to let him end the conversation. She was actually enjoying chatting –CHATTING - with him, although he infuriated her at times.  She found herself waiting for his text. He had made her laugh. She hadn't laughed in such a long time. Yeah she really didn’t want to end this, whatever this was. If he stopped texting now he may not text again. He might not text for days if at all! Then she would just be doing what she had been doing this past year. Going through the motions and waiting and hoping to fall asleep every night. Not laughing.

**Jana: _hey_**

**Michael: _Yeah_**

**Jana: _Could we text just a little more? I have trouble sleeping and I am not ready yet._**

**Michael: _Yes love. I’ll text with you until they tell me to turn off my mobile. Will that work?_**

**Jana: _Thank you_ **

That time it didn’t bother Jana that Michael had called her love. Not in the slightest, she thought with a small smile on her face.


	4. Chapter 4

_“Shhhh,” the voice said. “You gotta be quiet or they’ll come back inside.” Jana nodded her tiny head at the auburn-haired man, not knowing what else to say. Some part of her knew this was wrong but another part couldn’t make him stop. He said she would like it and that it wouldn’t hurt. He was her uncle after all. He wouldn’t lie to her. She trusted him. She would just lie still and hope that it would be over with as soon as possible. This is what she always did – lie there and pray for it to end._

_Jana opened her eyes and her auburn-haired uncle was no longer there, now replaced by a never-ending desert. She could see the man crouched on the ground, the one trying to break into her tent. Jana tried to run and tried to scream for help, but she couldn’t move. She was frozen in place, legs unwilling to move. She couldn’t breathe. He was coming and she couldn’t breathe.._

Jana woke up screaming, covered with sweat. She could feel the bile rising up in her stomach, and stumbled off of the couch, trying to make it to the bathroom before she emptied her stomach on the floor. She made it to the bathroom just in time before collapsing down on the floor and clutching the toilet, violently retching and heaving. She vomited til she had nothing left in her body, and then dry heaving for a few minutes longer. Unable or unwilling to move, Jana laid down on the cool tile floor of the bathroom, the cold surface cooling her fevered skin. She could feel her heart beating in her ears, and her head was swimming with dizziness. Jana began to shiver, and reached up to the towel rack and pulled the towel down, covering her body with it. Jana began to silently weep. She cried for the little girl she was and for the broken woman she now was.

It was around 0400 am when Jana finally made it back to the couch. She had not slept more than 2 hours at best. She was physically and emotionally drained. She would sit on the couch and stare at the television, watching infomercials til the sun finally came up. This was her routine.

* * *

 

 

0630-ish. The sun had finally come up. Jana got up from the couch where she had been dozing in and out of sleep – or consciousness – could be either at this point. She knew she needed to take her medication. It helped, the doctors said. Jana walked over to the kitchen, to the sink, and reached for the bottle of pills. Jana unscrewed the lid and took out one of the small blue pills, putting it on the counter. She screwed the lid back onto the bottle, and placed it back up on the ledge over the sink. She reached over and grabbed the glass that was still sitting on the counter from last night, filling it up with water from the sink. She picked up the pill, placed it in her mouth, took a drink of water, and swallowed. One blue pill – check. Jana set the glass back down and contemplated eating something. She still needed to take the vitamins and knew she couldn’t do it on an empty stomach. Especially after last night. Last night was particularly rough but not out of the ordinary. She’d had more nights like that than she’d care to admit. Jana decided on plain toast. Yeah, bland toast would go down fine. She needed to get herself together and head out to run errands. Saturday was her day to take care of things that needed to be bought. While she hated shopping, she knew it needed to be done.

While she waited for her toast to heat up, she pulled out the small note pad from the kitchen drawer and made her list. It was the usual – bread, milk, eggs, yogurt, fruit that would probably spoil, and the occasional frozen dinner for when she had an appetite. Jana made sure she was in and out of the store in the quickest time possible. She was not always this way. Jana thought back to a time when she loved shopping. Even after the _misunderstanding_ happened with her uncle, she was a fairly happy child.

 _Misunderstanding_ was what her mother had called it, and Jana hadn’t known better at the time. Everyone just pretended like nothing had happened –a misunderstanding, they said – and moved on about their lives. Jana did the same. She had boyfriends, and best friends, and went to the movies and got her nails done –like a normal girl growing into a woman. Went on about her life as if nothing happened…

Jana’s toast popped up, and she reached for a paper towel to place her food on. She absentmindedly chewed on the toast as she walked through her tiny apartment, looking for something to wear. She really needed to buy new clothes, as she had lost so much weight the past few months. However, buying new clothes would require more time being spent at the stores, and that was something she wasn’t quite up to just yet large crowds and small spaces stressed Jana out.

No, she would just continue to order thing online as she had been doing. It’s not like she was trying to impress someone, and the rest of the week she wore a uniform. Problems solved and panic attack averted.

The grocery store, however, was a different story. She had yet to find a way to have her food delivered. Once she could figure that out she would be set, she thought with a grimace. Jana finally settled on a pair of faded jeans that still fit somewhat, a loose t-shirt, and a pair of tennis shoes. Walking back through to the kitchen, she finished what she could of her toast, and threw the rest in the trash can. She then went back in the bathroom, brushed her teeth, put on deodorant, and pulled her hair back into a loose bun. Over-sized shades would cover the dark circles under her eyes. One last step - the vitamins, check – and then she was out the door headed into town.

* * *

 

Jana quickly walked down the aisles of the grocery store, grabbing what she needed. As she passed by the cookies section, she grabbed a bag of Oreos. They would probably last 2 months as slowly as she ate them. The doc said she needed to diversify her diet, and Oreos sounded like a good change. She then walked over to the frozen section, and grabbed the usual frozen dinners – spaghetti, lasagna, and other types of pasta dishes. Having gotten the rest of the items on her list, she headed to the checkout line. Seeing it was fairly long, and no other cashiers in sight, Jana began to feel a bit of dread pool in her stomach. She hated standing in line. Especially when people were right on top of her, and wouldn’t move back. It was tempting to just leave her items and go to her car. Jana began fidgeting, moving from one leg to the other, when her phone buzzed in her back pocket. Jana reached around and grabbed the phone.She hoped it would be Michael.

He had texted her last at 0152am her time. She missed that one as she had somehow fallen asleep.

**Michael: _I have to go now. Flight’s taking off. Will text soon._ **

After she texted him that she wasn’t ready to let him go just yet, Michael had managed to keep Jana laughing with silly pictures and terrible jokes. The terrible kind that are passed through text messages. He had made her laugh though. She didn’t even know this man – if he was a man – and he was making her laugh. Hell, she could admit she had actually looked forward to his texts last night. She had no idea where he was now, somewhere over the Pacific Ocean she would imagine. She had no idea how long it would take to fly from Australia to the US, and how long it would take at the stops in between. He said he would have to stop in Honolulu, and then Los Angeles, before finally catching the final flight to New York. He most definitely wouldn’t have time to text her.

But she still hoped it was him.

She pulled her phone out, only to be disappointed. It was her mother and she had left a voice mail. It had been about 3 ½ weeks, so it was around the time when her mother usually called. Every month she would call, and every month they would have the same conversation. “Hi” “How are you?” “How’s work?” etc., etc., It was one more thing Jana had to do on her list of required activities, and one that she did not enjoy. Slipping her phone back in her pocket, she finally arrived at the register, the long line having dwindled down while she was lost in her thoughts. Thank God, she thought. Jana paid for her things, grabbed the few bags, and headed to her car and then home. Jana was putting away her grocery bags when her phone buzzed again. Anticipating the worst, she didn’t bother getting it just yet. She continued to put her meager grocery items away, and the phone buzzed again. “Fuck, mom!” she thought to herself, aggravated that her mother would not stop calling. Jana walked over to the coffee table and picked up her phone.

It was Michael.

 **Michael:** _**Aloha kakahiaka** _

Jana stared at the screen with a puzzled look on her face, unsure of what to respond to that with, as her phone buzzed again.

**Michael: _It means ‘good morning’ in Hawaiian :-)  
_**

**Michael: _since I figured it's still morning your time right_**

Jana could feel a small smile play on her lips. He had actually texted her. During one of his stops he had actually taken the time out to text her. This inexplicably made her happy.

**Jana: _Yeah it’s late morning, a little after 11am_ **

Another text as she didn’t want to lose him. This was the bright spot in her day so far..

**Jana: _How was your flight?_ **

**Michael: _The usual. Long and boring. I did sleep quite a bit though._**

**Jana: _That’s good at least. How bad was the food? LOL_**

It was a few minutes before Michael texted back, and Jana began to worry a bit that another text wouldn’t be coming.

**Michael: _Sorry, was actually getting some food here. Plane food sucks. True story._ **

Jana laughed out loud at that last text message, unsure of whether it was because it was funny or because he had indeed texted her back. She might have held her breath for a few minutes – or so it felt like - waiting for him to text back.

**Jana: _All my plane food has always tasted bad. Nothing like cold Jimmy Deans and MREs haha_**

**Michael: _I am sitting now, eating some kind of Hawaiian pizza I think. Delicious and very bad for the waistline..  
_**

**Michael: _Jimmy Dean’s? MRE’s?_**

**Michael: _don’t know what that is?_**

Oh crap, Jana thought. She had inadvertently spilled on her job. How to explain this…

**Jana: _Just some garbage food I had on a plane once…not very good_ **

**Jana: _How long are you in Hawaii for?_**

**Jana: _I am a little jealous right now lol_ **

A few more minutes of silence as Jana patiently waited, chewing on her nails again.

**Michael: _I'd be jealous of this pizza too. It's amazing!_ **

Finally!

**Jana: _No crazy the fact that you’re in Hawaii! Eating pizza!_ **

**Michael: _Well I guess I’ll just have to take you to Hawaii one day ;-)_**

Jana’s heart skipped a beat for a minute there. She needed to remind herself that she didn’t know this man at all, and here they were talking about taking a trip together. It was a little disconcerting to say the least.

**Michael: _I was just kidding. Don’t want to scare you off._**

**Michael: _You still there?_**

Jana calmed down a bit. He was just joking with her. That was all. Just a joke - nothing serious behind it.

**Jana: _No it’s ok. I know you were joking. We don’t even know each other!_ **

Did she want to know him? He was in the states now and there was a very real possibility that that could happen. What if he really was a freak texting people from across the world? Or what if he was a really nice guy and –

**Michael: _We can change that if you want. I’ll be in NY soon enough, with a few weeks off of work…._ **

**_Michael: No pressure though. It’s brilliant and I rather enjoying texting you like this._ **

Jana hesitated, not knowing what to text back. She knew she was in no position mentally or physically to start any kind of relationship with anyone. Especially not any kind of romantic relationship with a stranger. This was bordering on lunacy. No one in their right mind would continue - let alone encourage - a relationship that started over a random text in the middle of the night. One that she answered back.

**Jana: _Not sure yet about all of this, but let’s not take it completely off the table. Is that ok?_ **

What the hell. What did she have to lose? What did she just do? She had a momentary minute of panic where she wished she could take the text message back..

**Michael: _Fantastic schatzi :-D_ **

What the hell? Was that Hawaiian too?

**Jana: _What does that mean in Hawaian?_ **

**Michael: _It’s German. Look it up. Gotta go love, they’re calling for my flight. Will text soon.._ **

Hmm. Gone just like that, and for who knows how long this time. Jana could feel the disappointment settling back in her stomach, knowing what the rest of the day would hold. She went back into the kitchen, and finished putting up the groceries before heading back to the couch. She then pulled up Google on her phone and searched for that word that Michael had used – Schatzi.

Schatzi – sweetheart, darling, baby, little treasure

Schatzi…

Jana smiled to herself. Maybe today wouldn't be quite as bad as it usually was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy Dean's - military food we were given, like breakfast sandwiches. Was usually a plate with a sandwich and fruit and juice. Usually frozen too -_-
> 
> MRE - Meal Ready to Eat. Military food in little packages that you could stick in a ruck sack. Very handy in a zombie apocalypse!!


	5. Chapter 5

Jana dumped her gym bag down near the front door, walked over and dropped her keys on the kitchen counter. It had been a rough day at work, but not a waste of time, as she was finally clearing her unit. She had gotten the news she wanted a few days ago. She was leaving Dallas, and heading back overseas. She needed to get out of this state and out of this country. She needed to get back to doing things that kept her mind at ease. The day to day life that was being in this unit was driving her insane. She needed to get back to work. After that last deployment, she had been sent to this unit in Dallas as a liaison to bridge the gap between the reservists and the regular Army. Typical AC/RC slot. A cushy job, off early and not a lot of training. She couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t stand the stillness of it all.

She had been calling her branch for some time to get her orders cut for somewhere else. She’d managed to maintain her sanity this long, and had been able to hide all her issues from her chain of command. Who knows what they would have done had she been honest on her post deployment health reassessment. That was why she sought help off post, and out of her own pocket. No need to have the chain of command involved any more in her life. They would have labeled her as crazy, or med-boarded her, she was sure of it. She had been questioned a few times by her higher ups on her well-being, and how things were going at home, and she’d always responded the same - that she “was fine and things were good.” Logically she knew that was not the case, but if she could just get back to work – and get her mind off things – she was sure she’d be okay. Eventually.

Jana had gotten orders taking her to Kuwait. Camp Arifjan to be exact. While it wasn’t ideal and not where she wanted, she knew that it would be a good, fast-paced job that would keep her busy. Located south of Kuwait City, she would be working under the garrison command, and most likely in or around Patton Army Airfield. Thousands of troops transitioned in and out of the country every year, and they all came through Arifjan. She would most likely be working in that capacity, although she wouldn’t find out until she arrived in country. Her orders were actually allowing her to leave within the next two weeks, and that was ideal for her. The soldier who’s position she was taking in Kuwait was already on his way back home to the states, and so Jana was ready to get over there and get her hands dirty.

She had so much stuff she needed to take care off! Luckily military orders trumped her lease, so she was able to break that fairly easy, as well as shutting of lights, water and such. She’d already contacted her landlord, and just needed to drop off a copy of her orders. She would need to get another cell phone, or see about getting an international plan so that she wasn’t going to go broke paying a cell phone bill. Jana snorted – who would be calling her really? She could probably disconnect her cell phone and be fine without it. She would get cable installed downrange in her barracks room and she could email her mother and any other family members. Her new unit in Kuwait would issue her a cell phone when she arrived. She really didn’t need a cell phone.

Unless Michael texted again.

Hmphh, Jana thought to herself. That annoying little thought again. What if he texted again? What if he texted and she missed it? Who was she kidding? He hadn’t texted her since he left Honolulu. She was no idiot. She knew by now – Wednesday- that he would have arrived in NY already and could have texted her back. But no text came. Why she even cared, she had no idea. She reminded herself she didn’t know this man and he was probably screwing around with her. In fact, she was probably lucky to have been rid of him so quickly. Yeah, disconnecting her cell phone and forgetting about him would be the best thing. She simply did not need the aggravation in her life at the moment, or in the foreseeable future.

“Love,” he said.

“Schatzi,” he said.

“I’ll text later,” he said.

Fucker.

“Forget about him, and move on.” Jana admonished herself. Just another loser.

Pushing that nonsense out of her head, Jana grabbed her nightly pill – the one for anxiety – and chased it down with a beer. Since she had gotten her orders, she had been in a somewhat better mood. She was actually sleeping better and felt more focused. She felt like she had a purpose. The rest of this week and the next couldn’t come fast enough. Jana grabbed a frozen dinner from the fridge, popped it in the microwave, and got ready to watch reruns til she fell asleep.

* * *

 

Jana went through the rest of the week in a blur – finalizing her lease paperwork, moving things in to storage, ensuring bills would be paid - it consumed most of her day. By the time Saturday rolled around, she was ready to relax. She would be leaving next Wednesday, as her flight had to be bumped up due to military scheduling conflicts. There were only so many flights in and out of Kuwait in any given month – if she didn’t make this flight on Wednesday she would be waiting a while. She did not want to do that. She had quickly packed up her apartment’s meager belongings, and moved what she couldn’t take with her into storage. She would be out of the apartment by Monday afternoon, and in a hotel until Wednesday morning when she would fly out of Dallas. From Dallas she would fly to Columbus, Georgia, which was near Fort Benning. From Benning she would catch a military flight to Kuwait. She would have to stop over in Germany, she believed, but that wouldn’t be a long layover as far as she remembered. Germany did have good beer, though, so maybe a layover wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

Jana spent most of Saturday taking clothes to the local Goodwill and giving away food to her neighbors. She couldn’t take most of it, so why keep it? The food would spoil and she didn’t want to put clothes in storage. It’s not like she had a lot of clothes, but surely someone would appreciate them and get better use than she would with having them sit in storage for 12 months. One year downrange was going to be great for her, Jana thought to herself as she was heading back home from her last stop at Goodwill. She would be working, staying busy, and away from all the noise that had consumed her life since getting back from the last deployment. She would also escape the pressure of her family asking her to come home to visit every time they spoke. Even now her brother was asking her to come home to see them before she left. How could she come home when _he_ might be there? She couldn’t go back home knowing she could run into him in their small town. Why couldn’t her family understand? Yes, she thought silently to herself, getting out of the state - out of the country - and putting distance between herself and that situation was definitely what she needed to do.

Arriving home, Jana dropped her keys in her usual spot and took her pill. She had just settled down on the couch to watch the remainder of the Jaws marathon when her phone buzzed. What the fuck, she thought? This late at night? It was well after 2300. Her mom or brother probably calling again to beg her to come home. Maybe if they told that asshole to leave, rather than ask her to accept him, maybe then she would come home. Until then she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t face him. Jana walked over and grabbed her cell phone out of her purse.

It was Michael.

**Michael: _Hello luv!_ **

A week later and this fucker was texting her again.

Jana thought momentarily that she should just ignore it and delete it. It pissed her off. What pissed her off even more was that _she was pissed off_ that he hadn’t texted earlier. That should be a red flag that she was a little too invested in this little situation….or whatever you’d call it.

**Michael: _Helmlmli..nj_ **

What the hell? Jana stared at her phone. Another foreign language?

**Michael: _Shit sorry. Someone grabbed my phone, U there?_**

Looking at her clock, Jana noticed it was 2341 her time. It was after midnight in New York - if that’s where Michael really was.

**Micheal: _ur asleep, sorry, text later ok_ **

Fucking asshole.

**Jana: _No I am not asleep. No thanks to you._**

**Jana: _Why the fuck are you always texting someone in the middle of the night?_ **

**Michael: _UR there!_ **

No shit, Jana thought to herself.

**Michael: _Sorry, forgive me again please?_ **

Always with the forgiving. Please. Asshole. It was time to nip this in the bud. Tonight.

**Jana: _No I don’t think I will. As a matter of fact I think you need to lose my number. I’ll be shutting my phone off in a few days._ **

There, asshole, Jana smiled wickedly. Text some other stranger. Jana’s phone buzzed in her hand and she looked at it in shock. He was calling her.

_Calling her._

Jana hit the “DECLINE” button. No way in hell was she talking to this guy on the phone. She quickly texted him again.

**Jana: _Did you not get my last text? Lose my number, please_**

**Michael: _No_ **

What the hell?

**Jana: _What do you mean no?_**

**Micheal: _I don’t want to lose your number, so no_ **

Jana was really getting pissed now. Was she being bullied over a text now? Now she would have to literally shut off her phone to keep this asshole at bay, since apparently he couldn’t follow instructions. This guy had a lot of nerve. Maybe if he had texted her when he said he would, then she wouldn’t be so pissed off….but a week later?

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jana mentally questioned herself. Who cares if he texted when he said he was going to? What difference does it make?

**Michael: _(1/2)I sent out a random text, you answered. We talked for a few days. I like talking to you and I think you like talking to me. You said you have trouble sleeping and you weren’t ready to stop texting, could I please text you longer_**

**Michael: _(2/2) and I said yes. Remember that?_ **

Jana was now thoroughly incensed. This motherfucker here..

**Jana: _Yeah and you also said you would text back when you got in NY. Do you remember that with your fucking memory?_**

**Michael: _my little Schatzi is cursing me again ;-)_ **

What?!

**Jana: _ur an asshole and I hate you_**

**Michael: _No you don’t, love. You would have already deleted me if you hated me. Besides, you don’t even know me yet…_**

**Jana: _I could delete you right now_**

**Michael: _You won’t_**

**Jana: _I am still thinking about it_**

**Michael: _Don’t_**

**Jana: _Don’t what?_ **

Why the hell was she still texting him? She was supposed to be deleting him!

**Michael: _don’t think about it and don’t do it_**

**Michael: _are you watching the old ladies again?_**

Hmmmm….

**Jana: _no, Jaws actually_ **

Why, why, why?? Why didn’t she just delete him? Jana chewed on her nail…

**Michael: _the shark movie?_**

**Jana: _yes_**

**Jana: _what are you doing?_**

Why did she care? She wanted to ask him what took him so long to text her back after Hawaii…

**Michael: _out with a few friends at an after party_ **

What the hell was an after party? Wasn’t that something movie stars did after award shows? She could swear she had heard that term somewhere. _ET_ or some other kind of celebrity show? What the hell was he doing at an after party?

**Jana: _Isn’t that a movie star thing? Why are you there?_**

**Jana: _are u lying to me?_ **

He was probably lying.

**Michael: _some actors here, yes luv_ **

Yes he was most definitely lying. She would play his game though. At least for a little while longer…

**Jana: _like who? Give me a name of a star near you…_**

**Michael: _Hugh Jackman, Ian Mckellan, and James McAvoy are fairly close_**

Yes…right…Jana thought to herself.

**Jana: _u are such a liar_**

**Michael: _you want proof?_**

**Jana: _yes_**

**Micheal: _hold on_**

Jana's phone buzzed again in her hand.

 

**__ **

 

**Michael: _believe me now?_**

Jana was stunned. That _was_ James McAvoy. The X-Men guy! Charles Xavier! Who was the other guy? One of the other mutants? She wasn’t sure… Maybe he was telling the truth. More importantly, what the hell was he doing at an after party?

**Jana: _what the hell are you doing there?_**

**Micheal: _celebrating with some friends_ **

What friends? What does that mean? Is he friends with James McAvoy?? Is that what he means? She’d really heard it all now!

**Jana: _ok you said that_**

**Jana: _are you like a reporter?_**

Reporters traveled the world, didn’t they? They could possibly need to sleep on couches and move from hotel to hotel, chasing stories right? Anne Curry was always in a different country reporting on things wasn’t she? Yeah, that made sense. He was probably a reporter!

**Michael: _no not a reporter_**

**Micheal: _why were you going to shut off your phone?_ **

Avoiding the question, huh? Whatever, she thought to herself. In a few days she would never talk to him again…

**Jana: _I am actually leaving the country this time, for work_**

**Micheal: _what? How long?_**

This guy really had some serious balls.

**Jana: _a year_**

**Michael: _fuck no_**

**Micheal: _why?_**

**Micheal: _how will we talk?_**

Jana laughed a little to herself. Where the hell was this going? She really, _REALLY_ , needed to shut this down. Like right now, it needed to be shut down. For whatever reason she couldn’t though. She had been texting him for nearly an hour already

**Jana: _we don’t talk now lol_**

**Jana: _we don’t know each other so why would we talk_**

**Micheal: _I tried to call you a earlier…_**

**Micheal: _you didn’t answer_**

**Jana: _because I don’t talk to people I don’t know_**

Duh...was he really this stupid?

**Michael: _technically ur talking to me now_**

Complete asshole...

**Jana: _didn’t I say I hated you earlier?_**

**Micheal: _you did but you don’t mean it.._**

**Jana: _how do you know?_**

**Michael: _I have my ways Schatzi ;-)_**

Wow…

**Jana: _ur full of yourself_ **

Asshole.

**Micheal: _been told that before but not true_**

**Micheal: _so how will we stay in touch?_**

**Jana: _I don’t know if I want to stay in touch with you._ **

**Jana: _unreliable_**

**Jana: _why didn’t you text when you said you would?_ **

She really sounded like a needy girlfriend now! A girlfriend she most definitely was not! Still, he would probably run screaming to the woods now, losing her number for sure if she was already questioning why he didn’t text her back quick enough...

**Micheal: _sorry luv_**

**Michael: _work got crazy and I could barely do anything, barely take a piss_**

**Michael: _I really am sorry_**

**Micheal: _I’ll beat my own ass. Will that do ;-)_**

Jana laughed out loud at that, and could feel her anger slowly dissipating. Maybe he was lying, and maybe he wasn’t. She couldn’t deny the fact that she enjoyed texting him now just as much as she had last week. He pissed her off to highest point of pissivity, but then he could make her laugh. Through text no less. Jana began to wonder what would have happened if she had answered the phone. What would he sound like? What would they talk about?

**Michael: _u there?_**

**Jana: _yeah I’m here_**

**Michael: _so…_ **

Now he wanted an answer. What should she do? Jana wondered to herself. The smart thing to do would be to lose his number and move on. She was leaving the country in a few days for a year. Enough time to forget Micheal, whoever he really was. All she had to do was delete the number and be done with it.

Part of her didn’t want to, though, she admitted to herself. Part of her wanted to get to know this guy, in whatever capacity they could manage. If it was through text, that was fine for her. Keep enough distance to be safe, she thought. He made her laugh. That was so rare for her this past year...

**Jana: _ok I won’t delete you I guess_ **

Jana continued to gnaw on her fingernail, wondering what kind of Pandora’s Box she’d just opened.

**Michael: _shit I almost passed out! I was holding my breath waiting on you to say that!_**

Jana laughed out loud, a laugh she hadn’t heard come from her body in a very long time. This guy was something else.

**Micheal: _you saved my life so now I owe you_**

For sure he did! After all the bullshit he'd been putting her through. Yeah he owed her.

**Jana: _yeah you owe me big time_**

**Micheal: _so what can I do to repay you? chocolate? flowers?_**

Jana sat there for a minute, contemplating what to say. He did say he was at an after party -with celebrities - and she did have one celebrity that she would like a pic of. Well, two actually and one he'd already mentioned being there. He needed to put aside his reporter and partying skills and turn in to a paparazzi now.

**Jana: _too cliché_**

The wheel's in Jana's mind were turning. How to make him pay? she thought with a giggle...

**_Jana: in order to repay me I'll need two pics of my celebrity crushes_ **

**Micheal: _of who?_**

**Jana: _Hugh Jackman first..._**

**Michael: _you got a thing for Hugh Jackman? you know he's married right?_**

**Michael: _very happily married I might add_**

Jana laughed out loud again.

 **Jana:** _**I'm not married, I can still look and he's pretty hot** _

**Michael:** _**ok whatever** _

**Micheal:** _**who else?** _

**Michael: _this is bullshit just so you know_**

He sounded a bit peeved, Jana thought. Can you be peeved over text?? Whatever! Let him suffer for a while, chasing after celebrities for her!

**_Jana: ok the other one you didn't mention there so you may have to find him if he's in NY_ **

 

**_Michael: fuck who now??_ **

He was really going to love the next one - especially with his name - Jana laughed quietly to herself...serves him right!

 

**_Jana: Michael Fassbender :-)_ **

A few minutes passed by before he responded...

 

**_Micheal: you want a pic of Michael Fassbender??_ **

**_Micheal: are you fucking with me right now?_ **

 

What? He was really aggravated now - or at least it seemed. Simple enough request. Michael Fassbender _was_ fairly hot as Magneto...

 

**_Jana: No_ **

**_Jana: not kidding, get me a pic of Michael Fassbender smiling :-)_ **

 

He must really be loving this, Jana thought!

 

**_Michael: why smiling?_ **

 

Jana was giggling now. It was really paining him to do this for her! She - on the other hand - was enjoying every minute of this!

**_Jana: because I like the way his eyes crinkle in the corners when he smiles_ **

 

Jana patiently waited for a response from Michael, wondering what he would do. She thought this was simply hilarious.

**_Jana: you owe me, remember? I saved ur life..._ **

 

A few more minutes passed and no text came.  Jana was wondering if he was going to be able to pull it off.

Her phone buzzed again..

 

**_Michael: hold on_ **

**_Michael: working on it_ **

**_Michael: I think they are both here_ **

 

Jana sat there on the couch, waiting for Michael to uphold his end of the bargain. When he didn't immediately text back, she set the phone down on the coffee table and went to grab a drink of water. She was still standing at the sink finishing her water when her phone buzzed again. Putting her glass down with a smile, Jana walked back over to the coffee table and picked up her phone.

**_Michael: nevermind Michael's not here_ **

**_Micheal: Hugh Jackman had this on his phone though.._ **

 

 

**Micheal: _good enough?_**

 

Holy crap! Jana thought! He really did it! How the hell did he manage to do that? On second thought who cares??? Look at those guys!!

 

**Jana: _Holy shit. You did it._**

**Jana: _James is kinda cute in this pic too..._**

 

**Michael: _so now you have a crush on him too?  
_**

**MIchael: _James McAvoy._**

**Michael: _again happily married!!_**

**Michael: _wtf :-/_**

 

Jana burst out laughing this time! She really was making him earn this!

 

**Michael: _shouldn't you be in bed now? not lusting after celebrities?_ **

 

**Jana: _ok you win, go back to your party or whatever ur doing lol  
_**

 

**Michael: _going home now, had enough fun tonight I believe..taking pics of other men..._**

**Michael: _again wtf?_** _**:-/**_

 

Jana laid back down on the couch, a smile on her face. This guy was something else. Maybe she would keep him around for a while...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still working on where this is going. Not sure yet :-)
> 
> As usual, I own nothing but my story and my OFC. 
> 
> Terms: 
> 
> Med-board: released out of the Army on medical grounds  
> AC/RC : active component/reserve component Army personnel working together
> 
>  
> 
> Images from : http://www.cinemazzi.com/inside-x-men-days-future-past-new-york-party/  
> http://www.veooz.com/news/GszFWS.html


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first real fight ;-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not a lot of editing done on this! Still trying to get the hang of the formatting as well. It's pissing me off quite frankly!!  
> Forgive me!

It was almost noon before Jana awoke Sunday. After texting with Michael last night, she had fallen into a satisfying and deep sleep, one that she hadn’t experienced in some time. She actually felt rested when she woke up. It was a good feeling. However, she had missed taking her pill at her regular time so she got up off the couch and headed over to the sink. Better late than never, she thought, as she grabbed a glass of water and swallowed it down.

Not having much on her schedule today, Jana headed back to and sat down on the couch, grabbing her note pad off the coffee table to see what final details she needed to handle for the week. Her apartment was squared away other than the final inspection which would occur on tomorrow morning sometime. Her bills were all set up on auto-pay, what little bills she had. Food had been given away, and closets cleaned out. She was packed and ready to go.

She had decided to keep her cell phone as well. After last night, she had decided to let whatever happened with Michael happen. Although she wasn’t looking for any kind of relationship with any man, she wasn’t jaded enough to not recognize a possible friend when they came along. There was something about him that made her want to hear from him. As crazy as that sounds, it was true. She didn’t know him from a hole in the wall, but there was some kind of connection. As fragile as it was, it was a safe connection for now. Yes, she would keep him around and try to maintain contact. It would be hard downrange, but it is what it is.

Not surprisingly she hadn’t heard from him since last night. He seemed to be fairly put-out by her requests to get pictures of her celebrity crushes – if his texts were any indication.

Serves him right, Jana thought with a giggle.

Besides, he was already there anyway, so it’s not like she really had him do anything that difficult. The question was still in her mind, though, of what kind of job he did. He did travel to different countries – that was true. He was in New York, surrounded by celebrities - at least last night – so there was some truth to that as well. He had taken the pics, or so it seemed. So whatever kind of job he did brought him into the celebrity world in some capacity. Not that she cared much, as most celebrities were complete shit-heads in her opinion. So out of touch with reality and living in a fantasy world that they had made up. Jackasses, the lot of them.

Jana decided she would go back over her packing list and ensure that she had everything she was required to bring as well as the things she would want to take with her. She had packed all her uniforms and civilians in one duffle bag, and had her other things in two smaller backpacks. All military gear she needed would be issued upon arrival in country, so really there was not much she needed to bring. Toiletries and other personal hygiene items to make the trip were the main thing. Her duffle bag with the majority of clothes would go in with luggage, so she wouldn’t have access to that at all times. She needed to make sure her carry-ons had enough to get her through the layovers and into country.

Jana rechecked the changes of clothes, and things like deodorant and tooth brush that she had in her backpack, ensuring she had enough. Satisfied that she was good to go, she looked back over her paperwork to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything. She didn’t need a passport, as her military ID would do to travel. She did need her medical records and things though. She had placed all the necessary paperwork in a pile on the countertop, making sure she hadn’t forgotten anything. Everything seemed to be in order. There was nothing left to do but wait.

Jana went back over towards the television, grabbing the remote and switching it on. There was The Walking Dead marathon on AMC. She could definitely watch that for the rest of the day! She walked back into the kitchen, grabbed the Oreos she had bought last week at the store, along with a bottle of water, and headed back to the couch. The Walking Dead and Oreos – great combination, she thought to herself with a small smile. Only a few more days and she would be out of this country and back downrange.

Jana glanced at her cellphone sitting on the coffee table. What was Michael doing right now? It was after 1300 her time, so it was an hour ahead where he was at. Jana wondered if he was still sleeping. Had he really gone home last night after sending those texts? Jana found herself wondering about Michael quite a bit this morning. What would have happened if she had answered the phone when he called? Why did he call in the first place? It was after she told him to lose her number, and that she was turning off her cell phone. Did he really not want to lose contact with her?

“Quit being silly!” Jana chided herself. They did not know each other and that was reality. The man was probably still just messing with her for shits and giggles. He did get those pics for her though….and he sounded pissed about doing it, she thought to herself with another small giggle. Maybe she should text him? Would he answer? He was always the one texting her. Here she was wanting to text him. She must have completely lost her mind.

Curiousness outweighing common sense, she decided to text him. Just to see what he was doing of course; nothing more.

**Jana: _good morning :-)_**

Jana grabbed an Oreo and broke it apart, eating the outside first. She really didn’t care for the stuff in the middle to be honest..

**Michael: _miracles do happen.._ **

He was awake and he texted her back!

**Jana: _what does that mean?_**

**Micheal: _you texted me first_**

Hmmm…was that a good thing or a bad thing?

**Jana: _well after you pulled off that miracle last night I was wondering how you were.._**

**Michael: _not as miraculous as you think_**

**Michael: _annoying_ **

What was he talking about? Jana wondered to herself. Was she being annoying? Is that what he was implying?

**Jana: _what’s annoying?_ **

Now she was starting to feel a little bit of irritation. All this time he had been bothering her and now he was annoyed with her?

**Michael: _taking pics of other men_**

**Michael: _of ur crushes_**

**Michael: _annoying_ **

Oh! So he was annoyed at taking pics of other guys – not at her. Jana laughed to herself and grabbed another Oreo and twisted it apart before texting him back.

**Jana: _sorry but I saved ur life, was the least you could do_ **

She popped one of the halves in her mouth, waiting for his response.

**Michael: _ur crazy you know that right?_ **

If he only knew how true that was, Jana thought ruefully to herself.

**Jana: _you have no idea_ **

**Jana: _what are you doing right now?_**

Jana turned her attention back to the television, watching as Rick Grimes took down a walker.

**Michael: _not gonna lie, still laying in bed_**

**Jana: _ur a lazy bum_**

**Jana: are you in a hotel**

**Michael: _no I have an apartment here_**

**Michael: _told you I live here when I am not working remember_**

Jana’s curiousity was peaked once he mentioned work. Let’s see what we can find out she thought to herself.

**Jana: _what did you say you did again_**

**Michael: _didn’t_**

**Michael: _neither did you_**

Hmmmm, snarky bastard.

**Jana: _how long are we doing this?_**

**Michael: _doing what?_ **

Was he really that daft?

**Jana: _not telling the truth about who we are_ **

**Michael: _can you just trust me that knowing what I do for a living would complicate things?_**

Trust him? Was he crazy??

**Jana: _are u crazy?_**

**Jana: _how can we trust each other?_**

**Michael: _I know it sounds crazy but it’s for the best_**

**Michael: _would you pick up if I called again?_**

Why did he want to call? What was that going to solve? She wasn’t entirely sure she liked where this conversation was going. Was he a criminal or something? What was up with all the secrecy? She was fine revealing her occupation to him. She would never see him anyway so what did it matter?

**Jana: _IDK_**

**Jana: _how would that change things?_ **

It most likely wouldn’t change things. If he couldn’t type it what would make speaking it any different?

**Michael: _I think we could talk better_**

**Michael: _please?_ **

What the hell with this guy? On the other hand, she was leaving in 2 days. If she got on the phone with him and he sounded like a complete creeper, then she would know for sure to drop him. Texting was too secretive and you couldn’t “read” emotion and expressions in texts. Maybe calling him wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

**Jana: _ok I’ll talk to you_**

**Jana: _I am leaving in 2 days so if ur a weirdo I am deleting you for sure just so you know_ **

Jana’s phone buzzed, indicating a call coming in.

It was Michael.

Jana’s heart started beating fast as she contemplated going through with it or not. Her finger moved over to the “ANSWER” button and hit it. Here goes nothing…

"Hello?" she answered breathlessly.

"Ah. There you are. You finally pick up."

Jana was not expecting that voice to come through the receiver. It was gravelly – like someone who smoked maybe? And was there a hint of some kind of accent there? It sounded familiar somehow..

"Hello, luv? Hang up already?" Michael's deep voice again. 

"No. No, I'm here.....uhm.....how are you doing?"  Why the fuck was she so nervous??

She really did not know what to say…

 "I'm good." She could hear him yawning. "Still hanging out in bed. You?"

"Good. Just getting my things ready for my trip," she replied.

Michael snorted through the phone. 

"Yeah. Your trip. I was trying to forget it. Why are you leaving again?"

Jana thought his voice still sounded somehow familiar but she couldn’t place it. It was right on the tip of her tongue but she couldn’t figure it out.

"Work. It's a good thing. Besides, I'm ready to get out of this country for a while."

"But a whole year?" She heard him chuckling. "Are you a movie star?" **  
**

 "Fuck no. I have a real job." She was the one snorting now. As if!

Silence weighed heavily for a few moments before Michael replied. 

"So actors don't have real jobs? **"**

Really? Really??

"Please. Getting paid millions of dollars to pretend to be someone you're not. That hardly qualifies as a real job in my opinion." Her tone was heavy with disdain, her dislike palpable. "Then whining and complaining about fans and all that. Please!"

 

"Well....I'd argue that there's more to it than that, but what do I know? You seem to have a low opinion of actors."

Was that disdain she heard in his voice??

"That obvious, huh? I get tired of hearing celebrities compare themselves to soldiers and such. What a fucking joke."

"Not all actors are that way. What if I were an actor? Would you hang up on me?" Michael definitely had a certain "tone" to his voice now. 

He was perceptive at least. She had to give him credit for that. 

"Most likely," she replied easily.   

"Okay. Point taken. So, tell me what is an honorable job?  In your opinion of course."

 

Yes. He was being fucking rude now. She was sure of it!

 

"Are you being rude? Cause it sounds like you're being rude....."

         _  
_

"Not tying to be rude. Just wondering why you would put everyone in a box when you don't even know them. Why would you have a crush on Hugh Jackman and Michael Fassbender? They are actors.  Wouldn't they be considered losers in your esteemed opinion?"

Jana did not like the turn this conversation was taking. Quite frankly she was ready to hang up. More importantly – she KNEW his voice from somewhere. Was it someone she knew, someone fucking with her?

 "I don't know if they are losers per say. Being handsome and being a loser can happen to the same people. I will never meet either of them. What does it really matter? And why are you getting so defensive? Are you an actor? You sure are getting pissed off over nothing!"  Jana screeched into the phone, her voice steadily rising. 

      

Silence…

"Are you still there?" She'd probably scared him off for good this time.

Nope.

"Yes. I am still here. What if I were an actor? What if I told you Michael Fassbender and Hugh Jackman were not losers, but were actually pretty funny guys and nice to boot? What if everything you thought about them was completely wrong?  Just sounds pretty fucking judgmental to me..." 

Jana gasped. She'd had enough of this conversation now. He was being a jerk for no reason. If she didn’t like an actor for whatever reason then so what? Who the hell was he to judge her?

"Okay so this was a mistake. I should have never picked up the phone. So I am going to hang up right now, and that will be the end of-" **  
**

"Why stop now? Why quit your bitching now? I'm all ears, luv," Michael cut her off.

"Quit fucking calling me love, asshole! I don't have to explain myself yo you or anyone else. It's the wa-"

"But you don't know what you are talking about. Have you met either of them?" The motherfucker cut her off again!

"Quit interrupting me! And no, I haven't met either of them, and I don't care to! You can fuck off too!"

With that final statement, Jana pushed the "END" button, effectively shutting off anymore bullshit he was getting ready to speak. She knew - SHE KNEW!! - it was a mistake answering his call. Stupid fucker! Who the fuck did he think he was?

 

Her phone rang again.

 

It was him. The asshole calling again.

 

"DECLINE" she pushed the button again. Fucker.

 

And he called AGAIN . Fuck him, let it ring she thought. Jana got up to go take a shower, she needed to cool off from all this bullshit. Her phone kept ringing.

* * *

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SORRY about the last chapter! It sucked big time I know!! The formatting and transferring is killing me! Hope you guys can enjoy this one. Things are getting interesting :-)

Jana finally touched down in Kuwait. It was a little over a week and a half from the time she had last spoken to Michael. Well from the time she had hung up on him and not answered his phone call. He had left a message though.

That bastard.

 

> _“ Hey it's Michael. Look, I don’t know how that got so out of control so quickly. I apologize for being an ass. I don’t know what came over me. I really wish you would pick up. Please pick up?....…..ok you are not picking up. Look I didn’t mean anything I said. I guess the subject touched a nerve with me. If you knew me better you’d know why. Just please….everything is not as it seems. I hope you will call me before you leave, or text. I am going to text you my email address so you can email me if that’s better. Fuck! I don’t even know what else to say.Just please stay in touch ok? Well, I guess I’ll let you go..ok I hope to talk to you later. Please be careful on your travels, love."_

Jana had not called him back nor had she texted or emailed him. However, she had not deleted the messages either. Why – she had no idea. He had really pissed her off. Really.

Jana grabbed her bags from where they were sitting on the seat next to her on the shuttle bus and pulled one of the backpacks onto her shoulders. She would carry the other. Orders in hand, she stepped off the bus and headed to her new home. In-processing took a few days, and it was another week before she was finally settled in her barracks room. Luckily she had a room to herself. Her internet was getting installed today so she would have something to watch by the end of the night. It was already after 1800 and it still wasn’t working. Hopefully by the time she got out of the shower, it would be ready. There was no cable in the barracks, but you could get stuff like Hulu and Netflix on your laptop – as long as you had internet. The barracks rooms weren’t true “rooms.” Rather they were a bunch of small metal container type buildings shoved into a larger building. It was basically like living in a storage shed. You had a bed, a wall locker, and that was basically it. Jana did have a small desk in her room, so that was a plus. The bathroom and laundry facilities were outside the main building, and consisted of giant trailers. One trailer was showers and toilets for females; the other trailer was the same - but for male soldiers. The laundry facilities were much the same – a trailer containing communal washers and dryers for everyone to use. To some people this was hell on earth, but to Jana this was the perfect place. It was a chance for her to get away from one evil and confront another. This time she would win.

* * *

 

 

Jana made her way down to the showers, toiletries and change of clothing in hand. Her flip flops were full of sand by the time she got there. Luckily the majority of the area around the facilities had been concreted in, but some areas were still sandy. She’d have to find a new way back so that her feet didn’t get dirty after showering. Jana stepped in the shower trailer - hoping to -and finding it empty. The shower trailer was actually pretty clean, which was a plus. Either it had just been cleaned or it was new. These trailers could eventually get pretty nasty. Fungal infections of the feet run rampant down-range. Thus the flip-flops (shower shoes) and lots of foot powder. There was a small bench that ran down the middle of the shower trailer, allowing Jana to place her clothes and things on it. She had chosen the last shower on the end, and was stripping her clothes off when the door opened and another female soldier walked in. The two women acknowledged each other, but didn’t speak. Jana finished stripping her clothes off, and placed them on the bench, careful not to drop anything onto the floor. She stepped inside the shower and set the water as hot as she could get it. The problem with these showers was that the hot water didn’t last long so you had to be really quick and wash the essentials. Right now, her hair was the essential. She had been on planes or buses for the past week, and hadn’t had any time to wash her hair. Jana pulled her light brown hair out of the tight bun it was in, and placed the hair band on the little hook inside the shower. She grabbed the shampoo bottle, squirted some in her hand and began washing her hair. Finally! It felt so good, Jana thought to herself, a contented smile on her face. She let the water run down her body, washing away all of the dirt and grime she’d accumulated over the course of the day. A few minutes later, the water started getting colder, and so she quickly finished washing her hair and body, got dressed and headed back to her room. Showers didn’t last long around here.

* * *

 Jana sat down on her bed and cracked open her laptop, checking to see if the internet had been successfully installed. Yes! There it was! Those little bars indicating she had internet. Finally she’d be able to check her email and watch some shows. Jana quickly signed into her email account and saw that she had quite a few emails from her mother and brother. The usual kind – “please call us when you can,” “when will you be home?” and “what is the address there so that we can send you things?” She would get to those later. Not today. Jana was digging through her laptop back when she found her stateside cell phone. It still worked but she’d had it turned off since she left Benning. She turned it back on and waited while the little apple lit up the screen.

4 missed calls, 2 new voicemails, and a few texts.

Hmmm, Jana thought, wondering who would call knowing she was leaving out of country. Jana didn’t want to use it even to check these voicemails, knowing how much data it would cost on her cell bill. Still she was curious…

2 missed calls from Michael, and 2 from her mother. The voicemails were probably her mother. Jana pressed the icon to call her voicemail, wanting to know what her mom – or whoever – wanted. She didn't dare believe Michael would leave another voicemail. As expected, one of the voicemails was her mother, but the other was someone she did not expect to actually hear from again.

It _was_ Michael.

He’d left another message:

 

> _“Hey this is Michael again. Ok so I haven’t heard from you. I guess you are out of the country or you’re ignoring me. Either one is shitty. Will you please call me? Please? Or text me? Did you get my email address? I am going to send it again just in case. Please just let me know you got there ok. Wherever there is…fuck I don’t even know where you are going. Ok?............well…ok fuck I guess I’ll let you go again. I’ll be waiting to hear from you. Be safe.”_

Jana sat back on her bad, shock evident on her face. He had called her again. Her mother's voice mail was irrelevant right now.

Michael had called her. Again.

He’d said he’d left his email also. Jana shut down the voice mail and opened up her messages. Yep. There were quite a few text messages from Michael, two of which contained an email address. He wasn’t lying about that. What to do? Jana remembered how quickly things escalated last time. Would they get that way again? She should probably just delete it all and forget about him. She had a year to put distance in between herself, him, and the rest of her problems stateside. Still…..A part of her wanted to text him, or call him, or email him. A part of her wanted to stay in contact with him. She still felt that way. Why? She didn’t know, but she did. She was curious. She felt like they had started something – whatever it was – and it never got going to wherever it was going. She may have overreacted, but so did he. He did apologize though, she thought to herself. That had to mean something right?

And he took those fabulous pictures! Jana laughed out loud, thinking of some guy – Michael - running around begging for pictures for his anonymous texting friend! Crazy! But he did it.

 

The least she could do would be to email him back. She wasn’t calling – bad idea if last time was any indicator – and she wasn’t texting. Too much money. Email was the way to go. Jana opened up her Hotmail and started a new email to Michael:

 

> _Michael,_
> 
> _Hello again. Yes I made it fine. I am in Camp Arifjan, Kuwait. With that being said, I’ll go ahead and spill. I am a captain in the Army and I am stationed here. There. I said it. So I will be here for a year. I too am sorry about the last time –and first time - we spoke. I was being a bitch and I apologize. I can’t even remember what the argument was about, but I apologize. Anyways, things are good here. I am doing good. Thanks for taking the time to email, call, AND text me LOL! I get the point. Keep in touch,_
> 
> _Jana_
> 
>  

With the deed done – and no way to undo it – Jana minimized her email and turned on Netflix, searching for something to watch. In literally the time it took her to login in to her Netflix account, Jana got an email. She saw the (1) next to her Outlook logo on the minimized screen. Jana pulled the screen back up. It was an email from Michael! Holy shit that was quick! She was 8 hours ahead in Arifjan, so that would be around 1000am his time. That was quick. Jana clicked the email and opened it up:

 

> _Jana,_
> 
> _Shit thank you for writing me back! I have been holding my breath – AGAIN!! I owe you again, since you saved my life again haha!_
> 
> _So wow you are in the Army? I don’t think I have ever personally known anyone in the military. I would have never guessed! Do you like it? Where do you stay at in Kuwait? Is that in the middle of the war? I do hope you are being safe. So we can’t talk on the phone – probably a good thing – or text due to the international shit, but we can email? There are some things I want to explain to you. I remember exactly what our last conversation was about. I’d like to clear things up. I really hope so. Maybe at some point we can skype? I do miss our texting marathons… OK I will go for now. Hope to hear from you soon. Please take care of yourself little Schatzi.._
> 
> _Michael_

Jana chewed on her fingernail, wondering what to do. He sounded like he really wanted to talk to her. Should she email him back? Should she wait a few days? What did he want to clear up? Gah! Jana closed her eyes, trying to remember what they were arguing about last time they spoke. She knew it had something to do with her dislike of celebrities, but really what were they arguing about? She’d find out soon enough:

 

> _Michael,_
> 
> _Me again. You caught me outside of work. Yes I am being safe here. Hopefully work will pick up soon so that I stay busy. Yes I am in the Army and I love it. I love the traveling. That’s why I told you I would switch places when you were complaining about the hotel. I don’t remember what we argued about, other than celebrities, but I think it was silly. Let’s not do that again._
> 
> _Ok TTYL,_
> 
> _Jana_

This time Jana did not minimize her Outlook screen. She was hoping he’d email back, and very soon. She split the screen in half, one side containing Netflix and the other containing her email. She started searching again for something to watch when she received another email from Michael:

 

> _Jana,_
> 
> _Sorry so quick. I feel like now that I have you online I have to keep talking to you! Thank you for staying safe. I am glad that you enjoy your job. Not many people could or would do that for a living. So thank you._
> 
> _I do remember what we were talking about, and yes it had to do with celebrities and your disdain for them. I need to do something now that may be impossible for you to believe, but it is true. I will get whatever proof you need. I want to be honest with you, so that we don’t argue like last time over something so mundane. However, if this causes a tremendous strain on our “relationship” then I understand, given what you said last time. So here goes. So I have no other way of saying this other than I am a celebrity. I was at an after party for one of the movies I had just finished working on. James and Hugh are good friends of mine. That pic of James I did take, but the other pic with Hugh, James, and Michael Fassbender came off my phone._
> 
> _I am Michael Fassbender. No lie and I am not bullshitting you. I need to be honest. Now you know why the celebrity comments pissed me off so much. I do hope you understand and I hope this doesn’t ruin whatever this thing is between us. I am content to be your friend and I hope you feel the same way._
> 
> _Ok I am going to close for now. I have no idea but I am nervous as hell to send this to you._
> 
> _Will be awaiting your response,_
> 
> _Michael_


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

_I am Michael Fassbender._

 

That is what the email said.

  

  _I am Michael Fassbender._

 

Jana had opened and closed that last email at least 4 times, re-reading it to make absolutely certain she had read what she thought she read. Each time it said the same thing: _I am Michael Fassbender._ Jana had no idea what to do. After reading it the last time she had shut her laptop harshly, as if it were a snake that may bite her. Would it really be possible? Would it be possible that all this time -these past few weeks -that she had in fact been talking to Michael Fassbender? What are the odds that someone would send out a random text, she would answer, and it would be an actor? She simply could not wrap her mind around it. It was not possible. Not in the slightest. She hesitantly opened up her laptop again, intending to read the email once more, looking for any trace of truth in what she was sure was an email based solely on deceit.

There was another email from Michael.

Holy shit. Jana, chewing on her nail, hesitantly opened up the new message, fearing – FEARING – what she would find…

 

  _Jana,_

_So since I haven’t gotten an email back in a few, I would assume that you are in shock, or more likely you think I am full of shit and lying to you. I can assure you the latter is not true. I was in Sydney when I sent out the first text message. I had no idea who you were or if you would answer. When you answered back, I was taken by surprise. I did not want to talk about my career as you can imagine the shit I catch trying to have friends. It is hard – whether you believe it or not – to find true friends, and not those that just want to be around the actor rather than the person._

_Look, I don’t know what I hoped you would say or do when I revealed my true identity. I should have done it the night you asked for the pictures. I know that now. I am sorry for misleading you. I don’t know if it’s the mystery of not knowing what you look like, or how old you are, or who you are for that matter, but there is something about you that intrigues me. I am asking you to give me a chance. I am not asking for a relationship as I do not have time for that. It is just rare to find someone so far out of my circle of people that I can chat with._

_Fuck I don’t even know if you are married! Shit! That just occurred to me! Right I am going to end this now. I have made a complete and utter ass of myself and I will go now._

_I hope to hear from you, but if I don’t then I will understand._

_Michael_

 

Jana slammed the laptop shut once again. She didn't know what to do. Should she email him back? What would she say? Better yet, did she believe him?? She still couldn't get her mind to wrap around this. She wouldn't lie to herself, though, and not admit that she was curious. This man had sent out a text message and she had answered it. They had "chatted" as he said, and he had made her laugh when she was in one of the darkest times of her life. She didn't know anything about Michael Fassbender other than he was very good looking. She had seen him in a quite of few of his movies. Was he an asshole in real life? That she didn't know. She still believed that most movie stars _were_ assholes and totally disconnected with the real world. That wouldn't change until she saw otherwise. But was there the possibility that this _was_ Michael Fassbender, and he was maybe a kinda nice guy? He seemed nice enough through email and text. She could understand why he got pissed off when she spoke so harshly about actors if he was really an actor. She'd be pissed too if someone spoke of soldiers that way, stereotyping them.

Maybe she could just email him back to see? "See what?" Jana thought out loud. What was she trying to see?? After everything she had been through - especially lately - the last thing she needed or wanted was to be getting into some kind of relationship with someone who may or may not be a very, very famous celebrity. He did say he wasn't looking for a relationship though, Jana reminded herself. So what could it hurt?

Jana slowly opened up her laptop again, wondering if she would find another email. She did not. So apparently if she wanted to talk he was leaving it up to her. Jana chewed nervously on what was left of her fingernail before opening up his last email again. She would email him back. What's the worst that could happen?

Here goes nothing, she thought...

 

  _Michael,_

_Ok yeah I am a little shocked right now. Not sure if I believe you. Part of me wants to since things are starting to make sense now. Comments you have made, places you were at during certain times, etc. The other part - the logical part -  says hell no. Have you seen that show Catfish? I mean seriously. What are the odds that an actor would send out a text and I would be the one to answer? It's like some weird fantasy that someone made up. So pardon my doubt._

_However, I am more inclined to believe you are who you say you are. Crazy for me to be typing that. I knew your voice sounded very familiar but I couldn't place it. Either you are a very good actor (no pun intended) or you are who you say you are. If so, I am a little embarrassed now. A lot embarrassed actually. I can not believe I asked you to get that picture and why. You must think I am a loser. And a weirdo. I swear I am not some weird stalker fan. I have seen your movies, but that's it.  I am rambling now so I'll stop._

_Ok no I am not married so no worries there. What else? Ok I am going through some of my own shit from the past and recently, and I was in a bad place. So some of the things I said to you were probably not the nicest things, but I have been having a tough time. I apologize too. Why are we always apologizing to each other? Crazy.._

_Anyways, I should stop now. I am sure you are busy. I don't want to take up any more of your time._

_Jana_

 

Jana hit send and off it went. To Michael Fassbender. Or whoever it was. With one nail chewed as much as she could, Jana moved on to another finger, chewing on the nail as she stared at her screen. She really, really needed to stop chewing on her fingernails, she thought absentmindedly. She couldn't focus now. She needed to know what he would say, if he would say anything at all. When nothing immediately came, Jana tried to focus her attention back to Netflix. She needed to get some noise in this small room. She could literally hear her thoughts and it was freaking her out. She finally settled on starting _The Walking Dead_ over at Season 1. That would preoccupy her for a while. Hopefully...

Another email from Michael.

This time Jana couldn't move quick enough to get the email open. She could feel her heart beating in her ears as she leaned forward to read what he had written her.

 

  _Jana,_

_I am always holding my breath around you, waiting for your response! So glad you wrote back. I can understand you not entirely believing me, but I am who I say I am. I never thought anyone would respond to my text, and certainly did not believe that we would still be chatting. I don't know what Catfish is either. Something like your old ladies show? I will have to google that as well._

_When you asked for the picture of me I really thought you knew who I was and that you were fucking with me. I kinda freaked out a bit, you know? As I mentioned in my last email, it is hard for me to know who to trust and when. I don't mean to bitch and whine like before, but it can be quite shitty. Makes me feel a bit paranoid if I am to be honest with you._

_Don't be embarrassed Schatzi. Everyone loves Hugh Jackman. Although he is a total asshole. Believe me on that. You do not want to be around him. Ever. That Michael Fassbender, on the other hand, is completely awesome and hilarious! Just kidding! Hugh is a lovely guy and one of my best mates. Contrary to your belief about actors, I am a fairly decent guy as well. At least I hope so?? I'll leave that up to you to decide._   


_You aren't married. Good. Shit I don't mean it that way. I just don't want to be emailing and texting a married woman? Nothing intended there! Look here is the truth. I think it fantastic chatting with you and I don't want to stop. If you don't want to. No strings attached. Not sure what you are going through but I would hope that I could continue to make you laugh the way you said I have in the past._

_Okay little Schatzi I unfortunately must go. I have a meeting that I should have already been at. I will be awaiting your response._

_Take care,_

_Michael_

 

Okay she fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker. He _had_ to be Michael Fassbender. _She was emailing with Michael Fassbender_. _She_ had cussed out Michael Fassbender! Fuck! Jana thought! Fuck, fuck, fuck!! Jana thought, as she pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers.

Jana laid back on her bed, her head on a pillow and the laptop propped on her bent thighs. What now? she thought herself.

She was emailing Michael Fassbender and he wanted to email her back.

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Jana could not sleep. It was well after midnight her time. She still had to get up tomorrow and report to her new unit. Since she had been there it had been more of a holdover type situation, getting things such as her room, mailbox, and dropping of paperwork here and there in order. Tomorrow she would find out exactly where she would be working. She knew the day would suck but she could not sleep. She had been emailing and texting Michael Fassbender and he wanted to continue. So did she, she admitted to herself.

She didn’t care anymore. It was true. She looked forward to his emails and literally could not wait for the next one to come. She absolutely could admit that to herself now. He was a distraction in this crazy world. He had somehow come along at the right time when she was flailing about, right before getting her orders. While Jana knew she was nowhere near “healed” – if you could be healed? – but she was better. She shuddered thinking about how many times those last few weeks she had chased her pills with some kind of liquor. How many times had she come close to overdosing? While she wasn’t actively thinking of killing herself at the time, if it happened it would have been welcome. She had just wanted to escape, in whatever way she could. Michael, with his aggravating self, had tided her over, pissed her off, and gave her something to look forward to until those orders came. In some small way she felt incredibly lucky to have this person come in when he did. Yes, she would keep him around as a friend. No harm could come from that, she thought to herself. She would email him one last time. He said he was heading to a meeting, and so would probably not answer back as soon as usual. By the time he did, she would be working.

Jana sat up, opened her laptop, and began typing..

 

 

          _Michael,_

> _Thank you for your kind email. I wanted to write you back really quick before I was up and headed for work. I know you were heading to a meeting, so no rush on your part in getting back to me. I will be heading to work myself in a few hours – if I can get some sleep!_
> 
> _Well, I promise I did not know who you were, or I would have never embarrassed myself so completely. My face is still burning! I am sure both of you guys – you and Hugh – are wonderful people. I will try to refrain from being mean to all actors and Hollywood. I apologize again. As for staying in contact, I would love to. Without divulging my sad life story, you helped me out more than you would ever know. I don’t know why your text found me, or why I responded, or why anything happened the way it did, but it helped me. My life was very dark right up until I left the states. Doing lots of stupid things. I know that now. I am in a better place now._
> 
> _I would like to keep going like this. It gives me something to look forward to. Maybe one day we can Skype, or call again. It was such a disaster last time LOL!!_
> 
> _Don't have much to say except thank you. Just thank you. Okay with that being said I'll go now._
> 
> _Jana_
> 
>  

With that Jana closed her laptop, set it on the ground next to her bunk, and turned over, trying to get at least a few hours of sleep.

* * *

Jana returned home later the next day around 1800. She had a busy, but great day. She was tired as hell - the heat would take it out of you - and she was probably still struggling with the time zone change. Would take a few days or weeks even to get used to going to bed when she was normally up. She hadn't been sleeping well in the past year, though, and it had progressively gotten worse until she had come downrange. Maybe now she could get back into some kind of routine. She knew she needed to sleep. She just couldn't then. It was getting better though. She was in a better mood, and she wasn't able to drink here. That was a good thing. Her head felt clearer since she had been here. Again, some people would call this a shit hole and she would argue that it was her saving grace.

It was well after 2000 when she had finally finished with chow and her shower. Upon arriving back to her barracks, she grabbed a water bottle and  took half of her anxiety pill, as she was trying to wean herself off of it.  She was hanging up her PT's for the next day and laying out her things she would need for work when the thought occurred to her that Michael may have written back. She hadn't been able to check her email all day - not allowed at work - and now she couldn't move fast enough thinking he had emailed her again. She plopped down on her bunk and grabbed her laptop, quickly opening up her hotmail account.

Yes. He had written her again, Jana thought with a small smile. Her day instantly got better.

 

 

> _Hello love,_
> 
> _So glad to hear back from you! Yes I was in that damn meeting nearly all morning and afternoon. I could feel myself dozing off a few times, it was crazy. I know it's nothing like what you do day in and day out, but fuck I can not sit still that long. This is me whining and bitching again, can you forgive a pathetic, whiny actor? ;-)_
> 
> _Well I am glad that I could be of service in whatever way possible. I would like to know what made you so unhappy but I will not pry. When you are ready I will be here._
> 
> _Please don't be embarrassed about anything said or done before. We did not know each other, but now we do. I promise what you see in pictures in magazines is not me. Tons of special effects, lighting, stuff like that go into making us actors look the way we do. I really am an ordinary guy. I am pretty cute though if I do say so myself..._
> 
> _Just kidding again!  ;-)_
> 
> _Shit I feel like a little kid writing this!  I have never been so excited to get a response back from someone. I was literally thinking about it all day during that damn meeting. This is very different for me, talking with someone this way._
> 
> _One thing though, you know what I look like, when will get to see a picture of you? Just curious..._
> 
> _Also do you have an address? Can people send things overseas like that? I did a bit of research on my phone - yes I was still in the meeting - and I saw that soldiers can get care boxes from family and friends back home. I'd like to send you stuff occasionally if you'd like?_ _Only if you want though_.
> 
> _I don't want to end the email. Is that too weird?_
> 
> _Right I'll get on with it._ _I should take my ass to the gym._
> 
> _Ok love hope to hear from you soon_ ,
> 
> _Michael_

 

Jana could feel the smile on her face, and she was blushing. Again. How did he manage to embarrass her over email? She could not stop smiling as she quickly emailed him back He said he was going to the gym - maybe he would catch it before he left.

Jana began hurriedly typing.

 

 

         _Michael,_

> _Hello again! I feel like a kid too, just so you know. Sorry your meeting sucked so bad. I know what that feels like. I have quite a few meetings here, seems like we discuss the same things on different days._
> 
> _So you like working out? I run quite a bit. Like to lift weights as well. It helps clear my mind. We have a small facility here that they call a gym, but it's no Gold's Gym or anything like that. I'd rather just take off running down the street._
> 
> _What I look like? Ummm...short, brown hair, and brown eyes. Does that work for you? I don't have any recent pics and not sure I am ready for that just yet...As for you I have seen your pics. You are cute. Let's leave it at that. Wouldn't want your head to explode so I'll stop with compliments...LOL_
> 
> _Hugh may be cuter though, just saying... James too..._
> 
> _Kidding again....LOL_
> 
> _Yeah I do have an address:  
>  _
> 
> _**CPT Jana Sears**_
> 
> **_Camp Arifjan,_ **
> 
> **_APO AE 12345_ **
> 
> _You can't send liquor, or porn, or anything weird like that ok? Don't get me in trouble..._
> 
> _Ok I will let you go now. I should try to get some sleep. This time zone thing is still killing me._
> 
> _Take care,_
> 
> _Jana_
> 
>  

Jana shut down her email and turned on Netflix, intending to finish up the first season of The Walking Dead before heading to sleep.  Today was a good day.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

The months quickly passed by for Jana. She and Michael had become quick friends. They emailed each other at least once a week, many times more often. Most of the time they rambled on about random things: what's your family like, how many brothers or sisters do you have, where have you lived. By 5 months in her deployment, Jana and Michael had come to know each quite well. Jana was happy in her job and was staying busy. She had helped transition hundreds of soldiers in and out of the country, either coming downrange or heading back home. Michael was busy as well working on a new project that had him traveling back and forth from the states to London. He went on and on about the ins and outs of his job, and Jana realized there was a lot more to it than just pretending to be someone else. They still did not talk about really deep subjects, and Jana had yet talk about the dark days before she had deployed. Michael had asked once and she had said no, and he left it at that. No questions asked, he said.

Michael had also taken to sending Jana boxes at least monthly as well. One month she got a box full of chocolate, as she had told Michael of her fondness of Reese's Cups. It was a ridiculous amount of chocolate, and she had plenty to spare with those in her unit. Another month she had gotten two packages, one containing a very expensive looking pillow - "In case your pillow sucks" he had written her -  and the other box contained a full array of products from Bath and Body Works . Again, Jana had more than she knew what to do with. His boxes were always a surprise and always made her day. In the other boxes he would throw in books - romance novels of all things - and different crackers, beef jerky, and trail mix. He had filled up her barracks room very quickly and she had plenty to share. The majority of the stuff she could buy here, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings and dissuade him from sending things. He would also send her postcards from wherever he was at the moment with work. She had gotten  postcards from London, Australia, and New Zealand. That man traveled frequently and it was always a surprise when she got something.

The most recent box contained a few of his movies, amongst other things. 'In case you've already forgotten what I look like," he had written on the card inside the box. How could she forget? The man was all over the tabloids and television. Jana tried not to look at things on the internet, as Michael had told her she may see lots of untrue things about him. That was not who he was, he had written her. However, she had looked a few times out of curiousity. She did not like what she had seen. Michael drinking, Michael with various women, Michael looking pissed off and screaming at the paparazzi. This was not the Michael she knew. She had come to consider him a friend, and a close one at that, but the pictures of him with various women (perhaps costars only?) had irked her. She couldn't rightly explain this to herself, but she could admit that it bothered her. It shouldn't - but it did.

Jana pushed all that stuff aside as she began sorting out her clothes for her 2 week R&R. Everyone who got stationed overseas outside of a deployment would get 2 weeks of leave - if they chose to take it. They could travel back home as many did, or travel elsewhere. Jana would be traveling back to the states. She would fly back to Texas, but not to visit her family. No, she would head to Galveston Island. She was born there, and while it wasn't necessarily the cleanest of beaches, she loved the coast and wanted to spend some time on the beach. It was peaceful this time of year - fewer tourists -  so she could sit and be in relative peace. She hadn't heard from Michael in a little over a week, so she decided that she would email him and let him know that she would be out of the loop for a while. He was probably off on some adventure, filming or promoting something. He was always going somewhere. Her packing didn't take long this time, as she was only traveling with a backpack. She would grab some clothes while in Galveston, and if they fit in her backpack, she'd bring them back with her. Otherwise they would go to a local Goodwill as well. She didn't need much clothing for the trip she was taking - just what you needed for a week at the beach.

Jana dropped her backpack on the floor and grabbed her laptop.

 

 

 

> _Michael,_
> 
> _Hello stranger! I haven't heard from you in a while. Just wanted to let you know that I will be going on vacation for the next 2 weeks. Well I have 2 weeks but some will be spent traveling. Will fly out tomorrow early. I will be flying into Dallas and then traveling down to Galveston Island for about a week. So if you email and I don't answer it's because I am traveling. I'll email you once I get settled._
> 
> _Miss talking to you. Hope all is well with you._
> 
> _Jana_
> 
>  

Jana did not receive an email that night, nor did she get one that morning. She checked once more before she shut her laptop down, packed it in her backpack, and boarded the flight back to the states.


	11. Chapter 11

Jana touched down in Dallas 2 days later. A few layovers and minor glitches, but she was finally back in Texas. She picked up the rental car from the airport and began the drive down to Galveston. It would take another 4 to 5 hours before she made it to Galveston. She was tired as hell, and was running on pure adrenaline. She knew if she could just get to the hotel room she could relax and get some rest. Jana pulled out of the airport parking lot and headed towards I45 which would take her straight down to the coast.

Jana’s phone buzzed. She didn’t look down as she was driving, but pulled over on the shoulder to see who it was. She was really hoping it was Michael. It was her mother. Jana sighed in disappointment. She pushed the button to answer the call.

“Hi mom…” Jana spoke into her phone.

“Hey sweetheart! So you’re back? How was your flight?” Jana’s mom asked.

“It was good mom. Long and boring as usual. How are you?”

“We’re all fine honey. Just wanted to check again and see what your plans were and if you had changed your mind about coming to visit….” Jana’s mother trailed off.

“No mom, I am not. I have already made reservations at a hotel on the seawall. Non-refundable. Sorry.” Jana fibbed to her mother. While she had made reservations, she could cancel – but she would not.

“Well I am a little disappointed. Sure did want to see you. Where are you staying?” Jana hesitated, wondering whether she should give specifics or not. The odds of her mother just showing up were slim to none, so Jana decided it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if she knew.

“I splurged and made reservations at the Galvestonian mom. Spent my whole paycheck!” Jana laughed out loud.

‘Wow! That’s a nice one though. You will enjoy yourself there.” Jana’s mom continued, “and you deserve it.”

“Ok mom, I really need to get going. I need to get to the hotel and check in and try to get some rest…” Jana tried to ease her way out of the conversation.

“Ok baby. Oh one more thing! Guess who I ran into today?”

“Who?” Jana asked hesitantly. She really wanted to get off the phone.

“Aaron. He was at the grocery store. He asked about you, you know…” Jana’s mom stated nonchalantly.

“Oh yeah? It’s been forever since I’ve seen him. How is he?”

“He’s good. Really good from the way he talked. He’s a chemical engineer down here around the port. He asked for your phone number and I gave it to him. I hope you don’t mind?”

Fuck. Now her mother was giving out her phone number to old boyfriends.

“Mom I really wish you would have asked me first.”

“Well I didn’t see what it could hurt. You are still single, he’s single. Who knows?” her mother said with a small laugh.

“Ok look mom. I need to go. Please don’t give my number out to anyone else unless you ask me. Ok? I’ll call you later.”

“Ok baby. Have fun and enjoy your vacation. Love you.”

“Love you too, mom.”

Jana clicked the icon to end the phone call. She put her phone on vibrate, and eased the car back out into the highway, heading for the beach.

* * *

Jana arrived at the hotel late that evening. She dropped all her things on the floor by the bed and headed to take a shower. Right now all she wanted to do was take a shower, lay down, and veg out in front of the television. She had managed to pretty much wean herself off the anxiety pill, and was sleeping better. Sure that this time change would screw that up, Jana had bought some benadryl at the small grocery store to help her get some sleep for the next few nights. She popped a bendaryl before getting in the shower, hoping it would take effect soon. She wanted to be up fairly early tomorrow in order to go for a run on the beach.

After showering, Jana hopped up on the huge bed and opened up her laptop. Finally figuring out how to connect to the hotel's wifi, she logged into her hotmail, hoping that Michael would have emailed her. Of course he didn't, she thought, aggravation evident on her face. Why she was aggravated, she had no idea. He was not her boyfriend nor was he her husband. If recent pics were any indication of what he was doing, then he appeared to be doing just fine in the relationship department, what with all the women he had constantly hanging on him. Well fuck him too, Jana thought. Not knowing why she did it, Jana fired off one more email to him, intent on letting him have it.

 

 

 

> _Michael,_
> 
> _Well I guess that's it then? No more emailing? It's been almost 2 weeks but whatever..Glad I could entertain you for a while._
> 
> _Good luck in everything,_
> 
> _Jana_

 

 

 

With that, Jana slammed the laptop shut and put it on the ground next to the bed. Grabbing the remote, she flipped on the television, trying to find something to watch. As she was flipping through the channels, her cell phone buzzed. She hopped off the bed, going to her backpack to pull it out. Fully expecting it to be her mom, she was surprised to see a number pop up that she didn't know, and a text from someone she had long forgotten. It was Aaron, her high school boyfriend.

**Aaron: _Hi Jana. Your mom gave me your number. Hope this is ok? Didn't want to call as I thought you might be sleeping. Text me tomorrow if you get a chance and want to._**

Jana chewed on her lower lip, not knowing what to do. Aaron was the guy she was going to marry. She had dated him for almost 4 years. At one point and time she had loved him. He knew all about her past and had helped her through many, many rough nights. However, she had run away and joined the Army. It was a breaking point in their relationship. He couldn't -or wouldn't - leave their small town and follow her around, wherever the Army took her. She had made a choice and it wasn't him. Now he was back again in her life - albeit thanks to her mother - but he was back.  Jana decided she would go ahead and text him. For old time's sake, she told herself. Nothing more.

**Jana: _Hi! Yes I am still awake. How are you?_**

Jana worried her lower lip again, wondering what was next. Memories came flooding back to her.

**Aaron: _Hey! I am so happy! I wanted to call but was worried you'd be sleeping. How was your trip? Your mom said you were staying at the Galvestonian?_**

Her fucking mother, Jana thought to herself. She had gone and talked to him _after_ she got off the phone with her.

 **Jana:** _**Yeah. I see my mother is meddling as usual. Yeah I am here for about a week. On leave.** _

**Aaron:** _**LOL! Awesome!** _

**Aaron:** _**Look I know this is short notice, but I've got a few days off starting tomorrow. Was wondering if I could come down and maybe we could get lunch or something? Nothing weird. Just two old friends catching up. If you don't want to I'll be cool with it.** _

Fuck again, Jana thought to herself. Should she say no? While she wanted to be alone and recoup, she also wasn't completely adverse to seeing Aaron again. He had been such a big part of her life. He had gone through so much with her. He had been a rock for her, something to anchor her when things were out of control. He had a good family - nothing like her dysfunctional one, and they all took her under their wings and welcomed her in as if she were one of their own.

What could it hurt?

**Jana: _Sure, that would be awesome. You gonna come tomorrow?_**

**Aaron: _Yes ma'am. I have a few things to take care of tonight, but can head out there early tomorrow. What time is good for you?_**

**Jana: _Well I was planning on going running early in the morning, so maybe around noon? Then we could grab lunch somewhere?_**

**Aaron: _Ok that works for me. I'll text you as I come onto the island. Great talking to you and see you tomorrow!_**

 

Jana sat starting at her iPhone for a few moments, wondering if she had made the right move. The last thing she needed was to get involved - or involved again - with a guy. Even this guy, as good as he was. It was just lunch, though, Jana told herself. Just lunch and nothing more. Jana set her alarm on her cell phone and placed it on the bedside table. She could feel the benadryl starting to kick in. Jana turned the television volume down low, pulled up the covers and slowly drifted off to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

The next day, Jana finished up her early morning run along the beach. It was easier to run here than it was downrange. The scenery could do wonders for motivation! Seeing the waves roll in and out, watching the birds go about their early morning forage for food, and occasionally passing a a fellow runner had immensely brightened her spirits. She had taken her pill this morning, and she was beginning to think that it was in fact working. Things were just looking better all around.

The one thing that still pissed her off - and she tried not to think of it - was that asshole Michael. As she was running, she tried to think of why it had pissed her off so. The only plausible explanation she could come up with was that she had grown accustomed to him. Who he was, who he came across over email and through his packages. While she appreciated the things he sent her, she was more appreciative of the way he had opened up to her through first text, and then email. She felt that they had a bond of some kind, no matter how tenuous it was. Some very small part of her wanted to believe that because they were miles apart and no strings attached, that he had opened up to her more than anyone else. She had done the same. Many things she had told him that she had never really revealed to anyone else. Granted, she withheld the deeper secrets, but she talked with him and felt at ease with him. She hadn't felt that way around anyone - especially a man - in so long. It didn't matter that he was famous or not - to her he was silly, goofy, aggravating Michael. So the fact that he hadn't bothered to email her in such a long time pissed her off. It also hurt - if she was to be truthful to herself. It hurt.

"Whatever.." Jana thought to herself as she walked into her hotel room, dropping her key and cell phone on the side table. She needed to forget about him the way he had apparently forgotten about her. Sometime soon she needed to delete those emails as a matter of fact. Get rid of him altogether.

Jana grabbed her change of clothes and headed into the shower. She would be getting a text from Aaron any time now and she needed to get ready.

* * *

Jana was finishing her hair, pulling it back into a small ponytail, when her phone buzzed. It was Aaron sending her a text.

**Aaron: _Hey I'm coming off the ferry now. Will be at the hotel in a few minutes. Wanna meet me out front or should I come up?_**

Jana sprayed some perfume on before texting back...

**Jana: _No I'll come down. Be waiting for you in the lobby._**

**Aaron: _K_**

Jana took one final look in the mirror before grabbing her small purse, cell phone, and room key, and then headed downstairs to the lobby.

She was sitting near a window, staring out at the beach when she felt someone come up behind her and tap her on the shoulder. She turned around and there he was. Her high school boyfriend of over 16 years ago. Though they were older - she was now 34 and he was 35 - he hadn't changed much at all. He had gotten taller it seemed. His blonde hair and blue eyes were just as gorgeous as ever. He still had that boyish look about him, even now.

"Hey stranger," Aaron said softly.

"Hey yourself," Jana said back.

After an awkward few seconds of just staring at each other, Aaron moved forward and pulled Jana into a hug. At first she resisted but then she felt herself melting into him. Just like before. He was still bigger and taller than her, and she still fit perfectly under his chin. Jana sighed to herself, hearing his heartbeat beneath her ear.

"I have missed you all these years." Aaron said softly, before leaning back to look down at Jana. "You're still just as pretty as ever too."

Jana smiled, and hugged him a little tighter once more, before letting him go and stepping back.

"You're still pretty hot yourself..." she said with a shy smile.

"You ready to eat?" she asked him.

"You know I am always ready to eat!" Aaron said with a laugh.

Some things never change, Jana thought, as they headed hand in hand out along SeaWall BLVD, looking for something to eat. After much playful banter about who should choose where to eat, Jana finally won and they settled on The Poop Deck. The Poop Deck had been a favorite amongst Galveston tourists and locals alike for many years. It had been damaged in some of the recent hurricanes, but it was always rebuilt. Jana and Aaron found a spot up on the deck overlooking the gulf. Feeling the sun on her skin, and the salty breeze blowing through her hair, Jana began to relax.

"Remember when we came here when we were like 17 or 18? And my crappy car broke down in the ferry lane?" Aaron asked her with a cheeky grin..

Jana burst out laughing.

"Yeah I remember. The piece of junk kept overheating and it finally died while waiting in line for the ferry. It was so embarrassing, right??"

Aaron smiled before taking a sip of his beer and replying. "Yeah it was a hunk of junk for sure. But we had fun that day, remember? That weekend?"

Jana could feel herself blushing as the memories once again came flooding back. Aaron reached over and grabbed her hand, seeing how her demeanor had changed.

"Hey nothing serious, not trying to make you feel uncomfortable. I had fun that weekend, regardless of what we did or didn't do. Wouldn't change anything about it," he said to her, trying to reassure her.

It was then that Jana's phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her bag and her mouth dropped open. It was Michael. Calling her.

Michael was calling her.

Jana quickly hit the "decline" button. The action did not go unnoticed.

"Something wrong?" Aaron asked her quietly.

"No, no, just someone that I can talk to later." Jana replied.

Her phone buzzed again. This fucker was calling again. After all these weeks - 2 only really - he was calling, and he was calling _now_ , of all times.

She hit the "decline" button again.

"Anyways, where were we?" Jana asked with a nervous smile.

"You sure you don't want to take that? It's no big deal if you -" Aaron was interrupted by her buzzing again. Jana looked down. This time it was a text message.

 

**Michael: _(1/3)I know you are declining my calls. Please pick up. I have been getting your emails, but apparently you haven't been getting mine. I was out of the country for the first week in BFE and couldn't_**

**Michael: _(2/3) respond to anything as I had no service. Then my fucking email got hacked and I think that is why I wasn't able to send you anything. Some fucking weirdo hacked my shit and_**

**Michael: _(3/3) I was advised not to send anymore through that account. I did respond to your emails though regardless. Check your spam. My buddy said he had emails from me in his spam folder._**

 

Jana sat staring at the screen, reverting back to chewing on her nail.

"You still do that, huh? Chewing on your nail when you are stuck with what to do?" Aaron stated the obvious. "Maybe you should just go handle whatever it is?"

Jana looked up at Aaron, forgetting that he was there momentarily.

"Ok let me just text back real quick and be done with it," Jana said, trying to keep her voice sounding normal.

"Cool. I am gonna run to the restroom, be back in a few." With that, Aaron got up and walked towards the bathroom, leaving Jana alone with her thoughts. Should she text him back? She was so pissed last night! Now maybe there was a plausible explanation? Even if there was a plausible explanation, and he wasn't lying, what would emailing or texting him do?  The fact that she got so pissed off over his lack of emailing her for a few weeks told Jana exactly what she needed to know. She was getting in too deep with Michael. With someone she'd never met. There was no future there, not with him. Not that she wanted a future with anyone right now, she reminded herself, but with Aaron there was something real and tangible, right in front of her. She would text him back and be done with it.

**Jana: _Yes I declined your calls and I will continue doing so. I can't do this anymore and don't want to. Look I am on vacation and really just want to be left alone. I think we should end this now._**

**Michael: _So you don't believe me then? It wasn't my fault. For fuck's sake, did you get anything I sent you? Check your fucking spam folder!_**

 

Jana was tempted to see what was there, but it could wait. Checking it now - and finding out that he was telling the truth - would only cause more conflict within herself.

 

**Michael: _Are you still in Galveston? What hotel are you at?_**

 

What the fuck???

 

**Jana: _**_(1/2)_** Michael please. Yes I am still on vacation. You don't need to know where I am staying. Just please stop. Please we need to just stop. We come from two different worlds, and I don't want to do this anymore. It was fun while it lasted but_**

**Jana: _(2/2) I don't want to do it anymore._ **

Jana sat in tense silence while she waited for his response.

**Michael: _No. I told you before that I didn't want to end it when you cursed me out and said to lose your number. So no again._**

Jana sat back in her chair, stunned at his response. What the hell did he mean by that? Why wouldn't he just leave it alone? She pushed the button on her phone, completely shutting it off. She was rubbing the bridge of her nose between her fingers when Aaron came back.

"Everything ok?" he asked her with a concerned look on his face.

Jana plastered a forced smile on hers, "Everything's fine. Wanna go for a walk down on the beach? Clear our heads a little?"

"You're not hungry?" Aaron asked.

"No I really need to go for a walk. My stomach feels a bit off. Can we grab something later? I'm sorry, I just need to get out of here..." Jana practically pleaded with him

Aaron looked her over carefully once more before agreeing. They paid the check for their drinks and headed out towards the beach.

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

Jana and Aaron spent the rest of the day walking along the beach. As the sun was setting low, a fiddler crab scurried across Jana’s foot, causing her to scream and run closer to Aaron. Laughing, he grabbed her, tossed her over his shoulder, and carried her into the water.

“Put me down right now!” Jana yelled. “You better not -"

Aaron dropped Jana in the water, laughing as he backed away from her. Jana came up sputtering, trying to right her clothes.

“Oh yeah? Wanna play like that?” Jana lunged towards Aaron, intent on making him fall in the water. He ducked out of her way and she grabbed his arm, causing them both to fall back into the water. They both came up grinning, and continued splashing water at each other. The salt was heavy in Jana’s mouth. It had been too long since she had been back. Too long.

“We should probably get you back to your room, huh?” Aaron asked Jana, his hair plastered to his head. He was still very, very cute, Jana thought to herself.

“Yeah. I need to shower. I can feel the salt sticking to me already.” Jana replied, trying to jerk herself out of her thoughts.

“What about you?” She asked him. “Are you heading back home tonight?”

Aaron looked at her out of the corner of his eye before replying, “Well I was leaving that up to you. I did bring a change of clothes…” he trailed off.

Jana felt a little uneasy at the innuendo. Was there an innuendo though? She knew this guy - had known this guy – hell, she was going to marry him at one point.

“So what you’re asking is to spend the night then?” Jana asked him bluntly.

“Well I don’t mean anything funny if that’s where you are heading with that. I just thought it would be better so we could hang out some more tomorrow. I mean if you want me to go, I can go home or even get a hotel myself.”

Jana worried her bottom lip, unsure of what to do. She knew this guy right? He seemed like the same Aaron that she knew before. He meant no harm. Just two friends hanging out with each other, right?

“No, no that’s cool. I mean I don’t think it’ll be a problem. You can have the couch. God knows the room is big enough.” Jana told him, having made the decision. “That way you don’t have to spend money or make the trip back.”

Aaron grinned and pulled her in for a wet hug. “Thanks babe.”

For whatever reason, Jana felt a little uneasy with that comment, but she brushed it off as being out of the relationship arena for so long. She had had her fair share of assholes where men were concerned, and she’d suffered at the hands of men, but they couldn’t all be bad. Especially not her Aaron. He was a good guy.

* * *

Jana stepped out of the shower in the en-suite in her hotel room, wrapping a towel around her hair. Aaron was out in the living area, having already taken a shower. She quickly changed into a loose t-shirt, sweat pants, and socks, before pulling her hair up into a loose bun. She wouldn't worry about drying it tonight. She'd just pull it back into a ponytail or bun tomorrow anyway. She grabbed her cell phone out of her bag where she left it earlier. It was still shut off. To be honest, she didn't want to turn it on. She was afraid that Michael would call or text again. She just couldn't do it. It was a dream, what she and Michael had. But it was over now, whatever _it_ was. Jana tossed the cell phone back on the bedside table, still not turning it on, before stepping out into the living area.

Jana walked over to the kitchen, intending to get her medication. She was feeling a little on edge this evening, and was going to take one of her anti-anxiety pills to help her calm down. She found Aaron in the kitchen, pouring a mixed drink. Looked like Jack Daniels and coke from what she could see.

"When did you get that?" Jana asked cautiously. She really didn't like the idea of him drinking in her room. Drinking and spending the night. Something just didn't feel right.

"When you were in the shower. There's a little shop down in the lobby. Want me to fix you a drink?" Aaron asked her.

"Uhm no thanks, I have to take my medication." Jana stated, before adding, "I don't remember you being a drinker..."

Aaron looked at her and grinned sloppily.

"How many have you had already?" she asked him suspiciously. She did not like this at all.

"I had a drink or two down in the bar, but nothing serious. There's a big party going on down there. Wanna go?"

Jana definitely did not want to go down to a party. She did not like drinking, especially around men who she hadn't seen in almost 16 years. She needed to untangle herself from this - and quickly. Should she tell him to leave??

"Maybe you could go down for a little while? Have a bit of fun? I think I am going to turn in for the night..." Jana trailed off. She was hoping he would just go. Maybe he would fall asleep down there or something.

Aaron looked at her for a moment before replying. "You sure? I don't want to just leave you up here alone?"

"No, I am good alone. It's what I came here for." Jana said, trying to plaster a convincing smile on her face. Please just go, she thought to herself. Please go.

"Well if you don't mind then. I'll go down just for a bit. Don't wait up though!" Aaron said with that sloppy smile again. She did not like this side of him at all.

With that Aaron grabbed his drink in hand, along with his cell phone and headed out the door. Jana hurried over to the door and locked it. Looking at the table in the entryway there by the door she noticed one of the room keys was missing. Fuck! she thought to herself. He took the fucking key. She was hoping to lock him out somehow. Jana debated putting the chain lock on the door, before deciding otherwise. She tried to calm herself down, telling herself she was overreacting as usual. Besides, she could lock the door to her room and leave him out in the living room. Jana turned the lights off everywhere but the kitchen area and headed to her bed. She would try to get some sleep.

* * *

Sometime later Jana awoke to the sound of her door being banged on. What the fuck? she thought in a sleepy haze. She looked at her clock, seeing it read 332am.  
The banging continued, followed by the sound of Aaron yelling her name.

"Jana!! JANA!" he yelled, slamming his fist into her bedroom door.

"Fuck, Jana! Open the door! It's me!"

Jana sat up in her bed, her senses on high alert now. She could feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins, her heart thudding in her chest. She pulled open the bedside table and grabbed the small container of pepper spray and shoved it in the small pocket on her sweats, not sure what would come next. She wished she had a fucking gun. She slowly crept to the door. Aaron was still banging on the door.

"Aaron? I think you should go lay down, don't you think?" Jana called out in her most soothing voice, trying to calm him down.

More banging.

"Fuck no, you need to open the door. We have things to talk about! Open the door or I'll break it down!" He screamed from the other side.

Jana was terrified. Would he really break it down? Should she just let him bang the door down?

"Aaron I am really tired and not feeling well. I think we should just go to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow." Jana tried again. At this point she was terrified.

"You better open the fucking door or I am breaking it down! I swear I'll break it down!" he screamed again.

There was no calming him down. Jana turned away from the door, intending to go back to the bedside table and call the front desk when the door was violently kicked open. He had broken through the door. Jana ran towards the phone, grabbing it as Aaron grabbed her leg, pulling her down onto the bed. The phone fell to the ground and rolled under the bed.

"You stupid bitch!" he screamed, "Always teasing and never giving in! Well not tonight! We're going to finish what we started last time we were here!"

Jana grabbed at his arm, trying to wrench him off of her. It was no use, he was too big and too strong. Fueled by alcohol and rage he was even stronger. Jana pulled one of her arms free and grabbed at his face, trying to claw his eyes out. Anything to get him to stop.

Feeling her nails on his face, Aaron slapped her across the face, splitting her lip. Jana could taste the blood in her mouth. He began pulling at her clothing. Jana could feel herself disassociating, could feel herself leaving her body. He was going to rape her. Aaron was going to rape her. Something inside Jana clicked in that moment. While he was preoccupied with getting her clothing off, Jana reached down with her free hand and pulled out the pepper spray. Aaron had leaned back, trying to pull her pants off, when she removed the cap and sprayed the contents of the small container right in his eyes and face.

He started screaming, flailing about. As he raised back, Jana took the opportunity to crawl out from underneath him and get off the bed.

"You fucking bitch!" he screamed at here. "Where are you?" He reached around him, blinded by the pepper spray.

Jana grabbed his bottle of Jack Daniels he had dropped on the floor and slammed it into the back of his head, effectively knocking him out.

"Right here you son of a bitch," she said bitterly, as she watched him crumple to the floor.

Jana pulled her clothing up and grabbed the phone off the floor. She called the front desk and requested the police come to her room. She was getting this motherfucker out of her room.

 

 

  
  

 

 

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

It was close to 8am when Jana finally finished with the police, paramedics,  and hotel security. After calling the front desk, the police had shown up in less than 10 minutes. They had handcuffed Aaron - who had finally woken up - and taken her police report. They dragged him away, to jail she assumed. He was begging her to forgive him, but she wouldn't even look at him. The hotel management had asked if she wanted a new room, but she declined. New keys were all she needed.

After they all had finally left, Jana retreated to the couch, turning the television down low. She stared at the screen, her eyes glazed over, not seeing anything.  She had popped her anti-depressant, as well as another anti-anxiety pill, as her nerves were shot. If she didn't wake up, then fuck it, she thought to herself. Honestly she didn't know if she would ever get to sleep.

The paramedics had assessed her injuries. "No, I wasn't raped" she told them." "Yes, he only hit me" she said. All the fucking questions. It was always the fucking questions she hated the most. She had decided against going to the hospital as she only had a busted lip. Which was very swollen now, she thought disgustedly as she felt her mouth with her fingers. Her cheek was fairly swollen as well. How could she have been so wrong? Why didn't she listen to her gut? She knew - KNEW - something was off. As soon as she could reasonably talk, she was going to call her fucking mother and cuss her the fuck out. This was all her fault. All of it.

Jana's head was throbbing now. She could feel herself coming down from the high of all the turmoil, but her heart was still beating erratically. She hoped these pills kicked in soon.

There a was knock at the door,  causing Jana to jump. She turned her head to stare at the door in a daze. Another knock came, jolting her out of her shock. Assuming it was the hotel security or the police again, Jana tightly wrapped herself in the blanket, walked to the door, and flung it open.

It was MIchael.

She knew him from his pictures. It was him.

Jana stared in shock.

Michael Fassbender was standing in her doorway.

Jana's mouth dropped open. She was speechless. She slapped her hand to her mouth to cover her swollen lip.

"Jana?" Michael asked hesitantly? He looked at her carefully, looking for anything that would tell him this was his Jana.

"Yes?" Jana replied, her mouth still covered with her hand.

"Jana Sears?" he asked again, needing to be sure.

"Yes?" Jana said again.

She was still in shock. How did he find her? How did he know she was here?

"How did you find me?!" Jana's voice was rising with her fear. "How did you know I was here?" She practically screamed.

Michael raised his hands out in front of him, trying to calm her.

"Hey calm down, love. I tried calling you a million times. As soon as I knew you were on this island I hopped on a plane. I knew how small Galveston is. I checked every hotel. It wasn't that hard. Being an actor has it's perks." He said with a cheeky grin, showing all his teeth.

Jana stood motionless, not saying a word. 

Michael, finally noticing her swollen cheek, pulled her hand away from her mouth.The grin faded away, and his mouth set in a hard line before he spoke.

"What the fuck happened here?" he ground out, his anger barely controlled. "Are you alright?"

Jana clutched the blanket tighter, as a single tear slipped down her cheek. She could feel herself slipping away, slipping into unconsciousness. The last thing she felt was Michael wrapping his arms around her, catching her before she fell. Then she was gone.


	15. Chapter 15

Michael quickly grabbed Jana before she crumpled to the floor. He lifted her up in his arms, and walked in the room, kicking the door shut with his foot. He carefully carried Jana over to the couch, laying her down gently before covering her completely with the blanket. He smoothed her hair off of her face, and ran his finger over the crease in her brow, trying to soothe her somehow.

"What the fuck happened here?" he asked out loud to no one,before looking around and noticing the kicked-in door to the bedroom. He looked around for more evidence of what had happened. Walking over to the kitchen area, he saw a copy of what appeared to be a police report on the counter top.

Apparently Jana had been involved in some kind of domestic dispute with a male named Aaron Miller. Fucker, Michael thought, his mouth setting once again in hard line.

"Busted lip/multiple contusions to face, arms, and legs/victim denies rape-" What the fuck! Michael was furious at what he was reading.

Michael quickly looked over at Jana after hearing her moan. She was thrashing the blankets around, mumbling in her sleep.  He dropped the paper back on the counter and walked back to the couch, sitting in front of Jana. He leaned over and smoothed her brow again, whispering "Shhhh, shhhh..." to calm her. She looked to be having a nightmare. As Michael smoothed her hair and forehead with his fingers, she seemed to finally calm down. He tucked her in once more.

Michael rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, thinking to himself that this was not how he wanted to surprise Jana. Not at all.

* * *

  
It was after 3pm when Jana finally woke up. She could smell something. Some kind of food. What was that smell? Burgers?  She sat up groggily, immediately regretting the movement. Her head started pulsing, the pain nearly making her sick to her stomach. The smell of food wasn't helping either. She laid back down, trying to remember what happened.

Aaron came back drunk, kicked her door down, tried to rape her,  she sprayed him with pepper spray, kicked his ass, called the cops and then Michael Fassbender showed up at her door.

"Wait, what?" Jana thought crazily! That last part had to be a mistake. How would he know where she was? Jana tried to slowly sit up again, peering over the back of the couch into the kitchen area. She quickly ducked back down, her head still swimming as she caught a glimpse of him. He was sitting with his back to her, perched on one of the stools, eating something. Jana peeked up once more, trying to see him better. He had darker hair than she imagined, more of a dark reddish-brown rather than the lighter auburn he sported in some of his movies. He had on a simple black tee shirt, blue jeans, and was barefoot. Jana dropped back down on the couch. What the fuck was she supposed to do? She was seriously in no mood for this, and she was still pissed off at him anyway. She just wanted to be left alone.

She had to pee. Her bladder was screaming. If she didn't move right now, she was going to pee all over herself. If she moved, he would surely see her! 'What the fuck do I do??" Jana thought desperately. Maybe if she was slow and quiet he wouldn't notice? She slowly started to roll off the couch, trying to get her legs underneath her.

"Shit!" Jana cursed out loud as her head pounded once more with the movement. She quickly clapped a hand over her mouth, hoping he hadn't heard her. No such luck.

"Hold on sweetie! Let me help you." Michael said as he turned, quickly getting up and rushing over to her.

Jana pushed his hands away, embarrassed to be seen like this. She did not need help. Certainly not his. Fucker.

"No, I don't need your help. Please just let me -"

"Haven't you learned anything about me, love? I am persistent as fuck." Michael said with a small smile. He carefully put his arms around her waist and pulled her up to him.

"You alright?" he asked her, noticing her wincing. Jana leaned into him, feeling like she was going to fall. Fuck. He had only smacked her - why was she so weak?

"Yeah...I just need to...just give me a minute. My head hurts so bad." Jana said, with her eyes still closed.

"Where were you going, sweetie? You hungry? I ordered some food..."

Jana was so embarrassed. How do you tell Michael Fassbender you need to pee? Jana knew she had no choice. She was about to pee all over herself. Really. If she didn't hurry she'd pee all over Michael as well. Fuck.

"I have to pee." Jana said meekly, her voice muffled in Michael's chest. "I have to pee and I don't think I can make it there..." She could feel her face burning, causing her lip to hurt even more. She must look like a complete mess, she thought miserably to herself.

Michael - God bless him - didn't make a big deal of it. He nodded his head in understanding, and started walking with her to the bathroom. Jana could feel her head swimming, feeling like she was going to faint again. Michael, taking notice of her loosening grip, picked her up again, cradling her in his arms as he carried her to the bathroom. He slowly lowered her, helping her stand in front of the toilet. 

"Ok love, tell me what you want me to do. Should I help you take your pants down? I don't want to do anything you don't want. How do I help you?" he asked her earnestly.

"No, I think I am good...just let me..." Jana reached down to pull at her pants, causing her to fall forward. Again, Michael caught her.

"Look, love, why don't I close my eyes and pull your pants down for you, and then you sit down? I promise I won't look. You can hold onto my shoulders as you sit."

Jana was dying with embarrassment, but her need to pee was overwhelming her.

"Promise you won't look?" she asked him. She was mortified.

"Cross my heart."

"Ok.." she said, defeated.

"Okay I am closing my eyes and then I am gonna pull your pants down, ok? Then we'll set you down slowly."

Jana just nodded her head, unable to speak. She was trying to hold the tears at bay.

As Michael leaned down and began pulling her pants down, Jana glanced down at him. Sure enough his eyes were closed. He even had his head turned upwards as if he were looking at the ceiling. God bless him.

"Okay now we're going to set you down slowly, alright?" Michael asked, her sweatpants at her ankles.

Jana nodded again, and mumbled "Ok."

Michael slowly lowered her onto the toilet, her hands on his shoulders to steady her.

"You good?" he asked.

"Yes. Can you please leave for a minute?" she asked him bleakly. "I won't be able to go with you there..."

Michael, still kneeling in front of her, opened his eyes and looked at her for a moment, concern evident on his face. "You sure?"

"Yes, please. I will call when I am done. Please.." She simply couldn't take much more of this.

Michael nodded, seeming to understand. "Right, I'll wait outside the door, ok? You call when you're done." He smoothed the hair off her face once more, and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving, shutting the bathroom door behind him.

Finally relief, Jana thought as she emptied her bladder. She finished, cleaned herself up and attempted to stand. Her head wasn't quite so bad now.

"You alright in there?" Michael called out from the other side of the door.

"Yes, I am fine. Just a minute..." Jana finally managed to stand up, and slowly walked towards the sink. Fuck. Her face looked bad. That fucker really did a number on her. Her lip was busted and very swollen. She had a bruise on her cheek where he had smacked her, and her right eye was turning black. She glanced at her arms, noticing the bruises and scratches. Jana could feel the tears welling up again. How could she be so stupid? Why didn't she listen to herself, listen to her gut? He had almost raped her! Suddenly she felt very dirty, and needed to take a shower. She walked over to the shower, and turned on the water, and began ripping at her clothes. She couldn't get them off! She was blinded by tears. She wiped angrily at her face, hitting her lip in the process, causing her to cry out.

"Goddamnit!"

And then Michael was there, pulling her into his arms again. "Baby what are you doing?" he asked her worriedly, smoothing her hair, holding her close.

Jana continued crying, sobbing into his chest.

"Do you want a shower, is that it?" Michael asked her again, rubbing up and down her back and her hair.

"How about we run a bath instead? Then you can sit in it and relax? I think it will help. Let's do that okay, sweetie?"

Michael leaned down, turning off the shower head, and turned on the water to fill the tub instead. Still holding onto Jana, he squirted some body wash in the water. Is that what girl's used in the bath?? Fuck, he didn't know! As the water continued to fill the tub, he turned back around to Jana.

"Look I am going to close my eyes again and help you get out of these clothes. Is that ok?" he asked her.

Jana just nodded, her sobs slowing down. She was completely done. She had nothing left. She didn't care if he looked or not. Fuck it.

"Ok baby I am gonna pull your pants off first, and then your shirt ok?"

Jana nodded again. Michael began pulling at her pants, pulling them down her legs. He pulled one foot out at a time. Jana remained standing with her hands on his shoulders. When he had removed the pants he stood back up. "Ok baby, gonna take your shirt off now, ok?"

Again Jana just nodded. She would keep her eyes closed this time. She didn't care if he did or didn't.

Michael, with one arm around her waist, pulled the shirt up and over her head. She was completely naked now. She could feel her skin burning with embarrassment but she couldn't care less right now. She had nothing left inside.

"Right, I am gonna pick you up and put you in the bathtub, ok? You tell me if the water is too hot? Yeah?"

"Ok"

Michael lifted her up once again, and slowly lowered her into the tub. At first the water felt too hot, but within seconds she could feel some of the aches and stress leaving her body. Jana sighed, finally feeling a bit better. She just needed to get clean. That was all. Michael placed a rolled up towel behind her head, and smoothed her hair off her face once again.  Jana slowly opened her eyes and turned to look at him. Even though he was a fucker, she needed to tell him how much she appreciated him.

He was sitting on the floor next to the bath, looking everywhere but at her.

"Michael?"

"Yeah?" He was still not looking at her.

"Michael, look at me please." Michael slowly turned his head and looked at her, his face still full of worry.

"Michael I am sorry about all of this-"

He interrupted her "No you don't need to apologize-" Jana held up her hand, interrupting him now.

"Please let me finish. I am sorry about all of this. I am sorry you came all this way for this. I am just sorry. If you want to go you can, I am perfectly fine now. I just needed to get clean..." she trailed off, tears filling her eyes again. Damn if she wasn't trying to hold them in!

Michael leaned over the tub, taking her hand in his and pulling it up to his lips. He slowly touched her knuckles to his lips, placing a small kiss on them.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now. I am here as long as you'll let me stay."

"I cant even believe you're here. You are such a stubborn ass. Don't you know what no means?" she asked him. He was so frustrating.

He smiled at her then - his signature smile - with all those gorgeous teeth on display.

"I told you I was persistent. Your fault for not believing me."

 

 

 

 

  
.

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Jana sat in the bathtub for a good hour, only getting out when the water was getting cold and her hands and feet were getting wrinkled. Michael sat by her side on the bath mat. Neither of them spoke much. Jana needed silence and Michael understood. When Jana was finally ready to get out, Michael helped her into a bathrobe, all the while keeping his eyes closed. As much as she absolutely didn't want to be around any man at this moment, she was grateful for his strong, quiet presence. He seemed to know how to help her - without words being spoken. It was a good thing, as Jana didn't have any words left. After wrapping the tie around her waist,  Michael helped Jana to her bed. She really wanted to lay down and sleep some more.

"I am going to leave you here for a moment, love, and go get you some food. When's the last time you ate anything?" Michael asked her.

"I don't remember..but I am not hungry. Just want to sleep.."

"You need to eat something. Then you can take something for your headache, right?" He was having none of her arguing. "Wait right here.." He started walking towards the kitchen.

"Wait, Michael?" Jana asked hesitantly. Michael stopped and looked back, "Yeah?"

Jana was nervous to reveal this part of herself to him but she needed the damn pill. Her nerves were shot. She needed something to calm her down. The headache was partly tension, and she knew that damn pill would help.

"In my bag out there - the black one - there is a bottle of pills. I.... I have to take pills for anxiety, ok? Can you please get me one? They are yellow." Jana hung her head down low, looking at her hands and fiddling with her fingernails.

"Sure thing." Michael said before walking away. Jana quickly looked up to see how he was looking at her - and if he was looking at her strangely - but he was already gone.

A few moments later he came back in with a burger, french fries, a bottle of water, and all of her medication, all perched on a tray he stole from the kitchen. One anxiety pill, 2 Aleve, and 2 Tylenol. Jana looked at him questioningly, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" Michael asked her, shrugging his shoulders. "I googled it. You can take Tylenol and Aleve together. Plus it said so on the paper from the paramedics." Michael didn't look at her as he made that last statement, busying himself with opening her burger for her and spreading the fries out on the tray.

"So you dug through my stuff?" Jana asked accusingly. How long had he been here?

Michael glanced at her before replying, "I wouldn't call it digging if it's on the kitchen counter top."

Jana shrugged her shoulders. Fuck it. Better he knew how crazy she was now rather than later.

"Ok, love, do you want ketchup?" Michael sat down next to her, causing her to scoot further to the other side. He looked at her carefully. "I am not going to hurt you Jana. I am here to help. Let me help please? Once you're good, I'll leave, I promise."

She stared at him, not knowing what to do or say. Really she was in no condition to throw him out, now was she? She'd kicked all the ass she could manage in one day. If he wanted to stay she couldn't stop him.

"Ok, but you stay over there...and I'll stay over here." Jana told him matter-of-factly.

"Yes ma'am," Michael said, holding up his hands in surrender and flashing her his sharky smile.

"You are such an ass sometimes..." Jana mumbled, shoving a french fry in her mouth.

* * *

Sometime later that evening, Jana finally woke. The bedroom was dark, but the bathroom gave off enough light for her to see clearly. Glancing at the clock on the bedside table, she saw that it was now after 10pm. Sitting up slowly, she looked around, and was momentarily startled to see Michael sleeping on the other side of the bed. The tray containing the remainder of the food was there in between them, and he was curled on his side, facing her, his arms crossed over his chest and his bare feet crossed at the ankles. He was breathing steadily, his chest slowly rising and falling. She finally took a good look at him. In sleep he didn't look so weathered, his face somehow smoothed out. His eyelashes rested lightly on his cheeks, giving him a boyish look. The crinkles around his eyes were relaxed.  He did have the usual ginger stubble across his jawline and down his neck, and his dark, reddish-brown hair was messy, sticking up everywhere. He was beautiful. Even in the midst of everything that had just transpired, Jana was awed by how handsome he was. No wonder all these women loved him.

To top it all off, she thought, he was a good guy. He'd been here for her through a very, very bad time. She thought back to the hateful email she had sent him, and how she had gotten mad seeing him doing those things - drinking, partying, all those women hanging on him - it didn't add up. It was like two different people. Shaking her head,  Jana gingerly got up off the bed, being as quiet and still as possible so as not to disturb him. As much as she'd been through, she knew he was tired as well. Traveling here from where ever he was - NY? - had to have left him jet-lagged.  Jana leaned over, pulled the tray of food off the bed, and set it on the bedside table. She then grabbed the blanket from her side and pulled it back over to Michael so that she could cover him with it, taking care to cover his feet.  Jana walked back around to the table on her side, grabbed the tray, and headed out to the living area, closing the broken bedroom door behind her as best as she could.

 

 

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Jana was sitting on the couch, watching some kind of rerun that she had found when she saw the bathroom door close. Michael must be up, she thought.  It was well after 3am now. She couldn't sleep as she'd been sleeping all day. It would be best to just try to stay up and get a sleep rhythm going tomorrow. She only had about 4 more days here before she needed to head back to Dallas in order to catch her flight. It hadn't been a very relaxing vacation thus far. Truth be told she was ready to get back down range where things made sense. This was all bullshit. She looked up from the television as Michael walked out of the bedroom, rubbing his hair. Which was completely messed up now, but damn if it wasn't sexy as hell on him. She really should not be having these thoughts about any man right now, she quickly reminded herself. She needed to be on guard - even with Michael.

"Why'd you leave me, love?" he asked her, coming to plop down on the couch beside her. Jana subconsciously wrapped the blanket around her a little tighter. She had managed to get dressed while he was sleeping, so at least she wasn't sitting naked under the bathrobe any longer. He was wearing the same black t-shirt, jeans, and was still barefoot. Damn him. She stared at the television before replying.

"No reason, just thought you needed to sleep." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. What now? she thought to herself.

"Yeah I was pretty tired," he said with a lopsided grin. "What are we doing today?"

Jana fully turned her head to look at him now. What?

"Uhmmm...what do you mean - what are we doing today? It's 3am...." She had every intention of sitting right here all damn day - and night. Right here on the couch. He could do what he wanted. Besides, she still looked like shit as far as she was concerned. Her lip was still pretty busted, although the swelling had gone down somewhat.

"Well as much as I'd love to sit here on my ass with you all morning and day, we need to get out. You need to get out. Get some sun on your face." Michael stated bluntly.

"I can't go out like this..." Jana trailed off, trying to find a way out.

Michael waved his hand in the air, brushing off her excuses. "Nonsense. You look fine. You can wear a one of those big hats the ladies wear and sunglasses. No one will ever know anything different."

"Yeah except my big fat lip..." Jana mumbled bitterly.

"Doesn't look that bad from here, love. Promise." Michael said softly.  Jana looked at him again, searching for any trace of a lie in his statement. "Promise."

"Are you really sure you want to be seen out with me? I am a little crazy don't you think?" Jana tried another angle. "Someone is bound to recognize you and then they'll see the lunatic you're hanging around with...."

"Pffft! Fuck them. I'll wear a big hat and sunglasses too. Nobody will know either of us. It'll be great. We can start with breakfast, and then go from there. We'll be dead tired this evening." Micheal said, flashing all his teeth this time. Jana couldn't argue with him when he did that. "Now come on love, let's get dressed and you take me on a tour of your island."

* * *

Damn if Michael didn't drag her all over that island. They finally left the hotel around 430am. Being so early, no one was about, and so they headed to an IHop that stayed open all night long. Of course Michael got recognized there, but it was fine as it was just a a handful of other patrons and the waitstaff. He graciously took a few pics, signed a few autographs, and the staff left them in relative peace. When the waitress looked questioningly at Jana's face, she felt a moment of panic but Michael quickly stepped in and  explained to the waitress that Jana had an unfortunate surfing accident and the board had won, thus the busted lip. They all laughed -even Jana - and she couldn't help but be thankful for him, and was able to relax a bit from that point on. After breakfast they took a short walk along the beach. Michael was fascinated with the little fiddler crabs that were still milling about, and Jana couldn't help but laugh as he ran after them, unsuccessfully trying to catch them.

It was close to 9am when Michael decided they needed to go shopping for some "disguises" as he called them. More people were starting to come alive on the island, and he didn't want the interference. Jana was grateful. They ducked into one of the little shops along the Seawall and both purchased even bigger sunglasses and even bigger hats than the one Jana was currently wearing. Michael finally settled on a straw cowboy-type hat and Jana got a big floppy straw hat of her own. Michael bought some swim shorts - as he was going swimming he said - and they both bought a few tshirts to look more like tourists. While Jana was waiting for Michael to finish paying for something he said he forgot, she stepped outside to feel the cool ocean breeze blowing. She loved it here, loved the beach and the salty smell.

"Hey I got something for us.." Michael said a little sheepishly as he came up next to her. "You'll probably think it's stupid, but I think it's fantastic. Give me your hand."

Jana looked at him, freaking out a bit. "Why?" She held her hands close to her chest.

"Come one, just give me your hand. It's nothing that serious." Michael said, albeit a bit impatiently. Jana slowly gave him her hand. Michael produced two bracelets from his bag, both black leather bracelets with a tiny shark tooth on each one. Michael slipped one on her wrist before slipping the other on his.

"Now we are really and truly friends. Nobody else I know has a shark tooth bracelet except you and me." Michael said proudly, his smile making him look slightly sharky himself. Jana stared at him, then down to the bracelet, and then back up at him again. He was grinning like the Cheshire cat, incredibly proud of himself and his little bracelets.

Jana burst out laughing. Michael's smile faded into one of annoyance.

"Well you can take it off then if you don't like it." Michael stated, annoyance evident, as he began walking away. Jana ran behind him and grabbed onto his arm, trying to wrench it free as he had his hand shoved in his pocket. The other hand clutched his bag tightly. He didn't stop walking.

"Ok I am sorry. I love the bracelet." Jana said as she held on to his elbow.  She noticed the muscle in his jaw was ticking.

"Then why did you laugh?" He asked her suspiciously, finally looking at her sideways. He was still walking and she was still clinging to his elbow.

"It was just so unexpected. I mean..you are this big actor...and.... well...." Jana trailed off, not knowing what to say. How to explain to him that she thought he was too cool for normal people stuff? Like cheap little SeaWall BLVD bracelets? Did actors do that kind of stuff? "Can you just stop please? Michael, please stop."

"So I can't do normal things then?" Michael was frustrated now. He stopped and turned, facing her before continuing. "Look Jana, we met under crazy circumstances. Before you knew who I was, I was just Michael. Not anyone famous. You knew me for me - not the actor. Even after you knew who I was, you and I were just Jana and Michael. Not the actor and the Army captain, just Jana and Michael. When I am with you I just wanna be Michael, the normal guy that buys cheap bracelets." Michael looked off into the distance, the muscle in his jaw still ticking.

Jana stared at him, waiting for him to continue. She didn't know if she should speak. She hadn't realized how frustrating it must be for him to just be _Michael_. Not Michael Fassbender, not one of his movie star roles - but just _Michael_.

Not to mention all the shit she had put him through over the past 2 days.  

Michael finally turned his head and looked back at her.

"Look after all the shit that just happened, can we just be Jana and Michael? I don't care about all that shit, whatever it was. You can tell me later or not. For this little bit of time we have, can we just be two friends hanging out, enjoying each others' company?" Michael's eyes - an intense blue - searched her face, looking for an answer.

Jana slid her hand down from his elbow where she had been holding onto him and pulled at his hand. He finally relented, and let Jana pull his hand out of his pocket, their fingers intertwining. She smiled up at him.

"Yes - Michael - we can. I am sorry. I didn't mean to offend. You just...surprise me is all. I am sorry, really. Forgive me?"

Michael grinned his shark grin again. Just like that, goofy, grinning-like-a-shark Michael was back again.

"Yeah I forgive you, but you'll owe me. Big-time." They started walking again, still holding hands.

It was Jana's turn to eye him suspiciously. "What does that mean?"

"You'll find out eventually. Now take me to this pyramid thing with the sharks in it, sweet little tour guide."

* * *

The Galvestonian

 

Bracelet shop :-)

 

 

Seawall BLVD

 

The pyramid thing..Moody Gardens, Galveston, TX

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing feels as bad as getting to the last sentence and then somehow deleting a chapter on accident..so here goes again!!

Jana and Michael spent the majority of the day at the Moody Gardens attraction, only leaving when it was literally closing down. Michael had been spotted a few times by fans, and as always he took the photos they asked, and signed the papers they asked, and was genuinely nice with the fans. There were some that would approach him openly,  others would stare and wonder if he really was Michael Fassbender, and some would follow and take pics from afar. Jana tried to stay out of it as much as possible, always sneaking off to the side and watching from afar. Michael would occasionally sneak away from the crowd, pulling her away from the commotion.

Generally, however, he was nice to his fans and accommodating. When they finally left Moody Gardens, they decided to get something to eat. Rather than going to a crowded restaurant where he was sure to have more "encounters," they decided to go low key and have Whataburger. He was recognized there as well, but it was a small inconvenience compared to earlier.

They finally made it to Jana's room after 1am. Another long, crazy night. After they stepped off the elevator, Jana dug through her purse and pulled out her room key, and opened the door. Michael, however,  didn't follow her into the room.  Jana turned to find out what was going on and saw he was leaning up against the door frame.

"What's wrong?"

Michael looked down at the floor before looking at her again, "No I just want to know before I come in if you'd rather I got another room. No pressure," he said as he clasped his hands together out in front of him. "I can get a room and we can just meet up together again tomorrow. No big deal," he finished with a small smile.

Jana hesitated for a moment, worrying her lower lip with indecision. The sharp pain she felt from her busted lip was a quick reminder of the decisions she had made previously. He was giving her a choice here, an out. He would leave if she wanted him to. A large part of her wanted him to stay - she enjoyed being around him. It was worse being alone now that she had Michael's company to look forward to. On the other hand, she knew what happened last time she let a man in her room. That was a man she knew. Michael she really did not know.

Jana thought back to yesterday and last night, when Michael had painstaking helped her through one of the harder times in her life. Usually she handled these things alone, but he was there. He put her in a bathtub for Christ's sake! No, if Michael wanted to hurt her he would have already done it. Besides, he could walk down the street - hell the hallway - and pick up any woman he wanted. He wouldn't hurt her, she was sure of it.

"No, it's ok. I want you to stay," Jana said with a small, hesitant smile. Michael released the breath he had been holding.

"Thank you." He placed his hand over his heart before adding, "I swear I'll be a good boy." He finished with a small smile of his own as he walked in behind her and shut the door.

 

* * *

An hour later they were both showered, needing to remove all the salt and sand from their skin. Michael was lounging on one side of the huge sectional while Jana was curled up on the chaise part. There was a whole couch section in between them - Michael on one side and Jana on the other. They had finally settled on reruns of Roseanne, as Michael said he had never seen that show before. He was watching the show and popping caramel corn that he had purchased at Moody Gardens, seemingly unaware that Jana was watching him. Every now and then she would sneak a peak at him, watching as he ate the popcorn, or when he would crack a smile at something Rosie or Dan said, or when he would even laugh out loud. She smiled herself as his eyes crinkled in the corners when he would laugh or smile at something. 

He was wearing a pair of blue swim trunks and a black tank to sleep in, and she could see his toned body clearly. His stomach was flat, his chest broad, and his arms were lean but muscular. The man was beautiful. There was no way around it. As Jana was watching him, Michael suddenly turned to look at her, catching her in the act. Jana quickly looked away, back at the television.

Michael sat up, swinging his legs off the couch, and placed the popcorn on the coffee table. Jana looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Mind if I come sleep next to you? I am freezing and you have the blanket. Think I got a bit of a sunburn," he smiled ruefully, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Jana immediately tensed up, red flags going off everywhere. She subconsciously wrapped the blanket tighter around her. This did not go unnoticed by Michael, nor did he miss the worried look on Jana's face as she nervously bit her lower lip.

He held his hands up in surrender. "Hey no biggie. I can grab a blanket from the room. You can sleep over there and I can sleep over here. Deal?" he asked with a smile.

Jana relaxed a little and let out a small sigh of relief, remembering the conversation yesterday about the very same thing. 'Promise?" she asked with a small smile of her own.

Michael placed his hand over his heart and replied,"Promise. Cross my heart." He then got up and headed to the bedroom, returning a few minutes later with the blanket from the bed. "Just so you know I have the better blanket," he said, winking at her.

Jana threw a pillow at him.

 

* * *

It was some two hours later when Jana woke. She was absolutely freezing! She glanced around, noticing the television was still on but the volume had been turned down low. She got up and walked over to the coffee table, looking for the remote. Not finding it, she looked towards Michael, noticing it was resting on his chest, tucked under his hand. He was sleeping, his deep, even breathing breaking the silence in the room. She walked over to him and carefully pulled the remote out, then shut off the television. She put the remote on the coffee table and looked once more at Michael.

She watched as his chest rose in the steady rhythm of someone deep in sleep. He looked so peaceful. In that moment, Jana wanted to crawl in next to him and just lay there. She was so cold - both inside and out - and wanted to feel warm. He looked so warm, she thought to herself, biting her lip in indecision. The sectional was humongous - very wide. There would be plenty of room for her next to him. He may not even feel her, she convinced herself. Fuck it, she thought. She would tempt her fate and try to weasel her way in next to him.

Jana walked over to him, lifting up the blanket and sliding in as slowly and quietly as she possibly could. She held her breath the entire time. As she was trying to lay down, Michael mumbled a bit, and his outside arm flopped off the couch. Jana stopped moving and sat as still as possible. Had she woken him?? She turned to look at his face, but thankfully his eyes were still closed and he was still breathing steadily. Jana slowly laid down, maneuvering herself and scooting so that she was tucked in next to his armpit. She finally worked up enough courage to inch her head onto his chest. Once she got comfortable - and he didn't wake up - she let her breath out and sighed in relief.

 Just as she suspected - he was incredibly warm and comfy. Jana could hear his steady heartbeat thudding in her ear, and it eventually lulled her to sleep. The last thing Jana remembered was feeling Michael wrap his arm around her, pulling her closer into his side.

What Jana didn't see was the small smile that played on Michael's lips as she snuggled in closer to him, nor did she feel the gentle kiss he pressed against her forehead as he, too, fell back asleep.

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - flashbacks of childhood sexual abuse.

_Jana heard the sound of footsteps in the hallway. Cracking her eyes open slightly, Jana could see the shadow of her uncle coming into the room she stayed in at her grandmother’s house. She could see his sillohuette as he stepped into the room and slowly closed the door. Jana wrapped the blanket even tighter around her and turned over, feeling the sweat all over her body. She had hoped and prayed that he wouldn’t come tonight. He always came. She could not escape him.. She kept the blanket wrapped tightly around her, tucked in even at her feet. She felt him lay down behind her. She could feel his body heat as he molded his body to hers. She could feel "it" stabbing her in the back. She hated that thing. She hated him. Why couldn’t she fight him off? Why wouldn’t he leave her alone? Jana felt him grab her face, his fingers under her chin, trying to turn her face back to him. She heard him whispering for her to turn over. He pulled her over onto her back and she continued to lie still, praying and hoping he would just leave if he thought she was still asleep. Jana felt his hands slide under the blanket, and then onto her stomach where his hand inched closer down between her legs. Jana kept her legs clenched tight, trying to avoid what was to come at all cost. She wanted to scream but no noise would come out. She couldn’t get air in her lungs. Why couldn’t she breathe? If she could just catch her breath she could scream and someone would come. Jana slowly opened her eyes, seeing his reddish stubble under his chin and began screaming…_

Michael woke up to Jana screaming in his ear, pushing and clawing at him. She was trying to untangle herself from the blanket. She was frantic, her breathing was fast and broken, and she was crying. She wouldn’t stop slapping at him, trying to push him off.

“Jana? What’s wrong? Michael asked, still groggy from sleep. He could feel the blanket being pulled from his side as she tried to find her way out. She pushed at him more forcefully, trying to push his face away from hers. She slapped him across the face. Michael came to, wide awake now.

“Wait! Stop! Jana stop!” Michael grabbed at Jana’s shoulders, trying to calm her down. Jana grabbed at his hands, clawing at them in a desperate attempt to remove them from her body.

“Get off me! Get off me! Mom!” Jana screamed. “Somebody help me! Get off me!” Jana successfully untangled herself from the blanket and fell to the floor, scrambling backwards away from Michael. Michael sat up on the couch, holding his hands up in front of him. What the fuck was going on?

“Jana, baby? Jana what’s wrong?” Michael attempted to get off the couch and move towards her but Jana screamed again, causing him to stop. She was huddled in a tiny ball on the floor, backed into the corner of the sectional, the blanket wrapped around her shaking body. She had her hands placed over her ears and she was rocking. She was mumbling something to herself, something indecipherable to his ears. Michael had no idea what was going on.

“Don’t come near me! This time I’ll tell! I promise I’ll tell!” Jana screamed at him. Her eyes were glazed over, as if she was seeing him but not seeing him – all at the same time. Michael felt helpless. Something was going on and he had no idea what the fuck it was.

“Jana, love, it’s Michael,” he said in a soothing voice. “Jana, you’re having a bad a dream. You had a bad dream, but it’s over….”

She wouldn’t stop rocking and shaking, her face looking downwards, her eyes tightly shut. Michael slowly inched his way off the couch and onto the floor, taking care not to move too fast so as not to startle her.

“Baby, look at me. It’s Michael, remember? Let me help you baby.” Michael inched closer to her. She seemed to be calming down, not shaking as much, but she was still rocking.

“Jana, look at me. Jana. Baby, it’s Michael. I need you to look at me.” Michael had inched closer til he was sitting right in front of her. He dared not touch her.

“Jana…” he said softly. Jana stopped rocking and slowly raised her head, her eyes connecting with his eyes. She slowly dropped her hands from her ears.  Michael could see the glossed-over look in her eyes slowly fade as recognition came.

“Michael?”  she whispered.

With recognition came shame. Michael could see it as it crossed her face. Jana burst into tears once more, deep, wracking sobs that shook her whole body. Michael moved forward and took her into his arms, feeling her tears soak through his tank top. He rubbed her back up and down, smoothed her hair, and whispered to her that she would be alright, that they would be alright. He held her tightly to his chest, rocking both of them back and forth.

“I am so sorry.” Jana choked out between sobs. Michael shushed her, telling her it was alright, and continuing to rub her back, holding her tightly as she cried her heart out.

“It’s okay, love. It’s okay. I’ve got you now.” Michael whispered in her ear


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for errors! These last few chapters are killing me and I haven't checked much for errors! Just needed to get them out!

Michael had eventually gotten Jana to calm down enough that they could move up to the couch. He had lifted her up in his arms and had her sitting on his lap, cradling her like a child. He could really feel just how frail she was. He could barely feel her sitting on his lap, her head resting on his chest under his chin. She was so light, like a frightened little bird. He continued to rub her back, trying to comfort her as best as he could. If he were to be quite honest, he didn’t know what in the hell to do. He was at a loss right now.

“This is better than the floor, right love?” Michael said, breaking the silence.  Jana just sniffled.“Care to tell me what happened?”

He felt Jana stiffen in his arms a bit. He would not press. “If you don’t want to say its okay. I just need to know how to help you.”

They sat a few more minutes, before Jana spoke. “It’s your beard,” she whispered, barely audible.

Michael tilted his head closer to her, unsure of what he had heard. “What was that sweetheart? I didn’t hear you.”

Jana absentmindedly twisted the edge of his tank top in her fingers before replying a little louder. “It’s your beard. The color of your beard. I can’t take it. The red color.”

Michael was no closer to figuring out what was going on than before. What was wrong with his beard? He pulled her back a little so he could try to look at her face, his eyes searching for any kind of answer. “Jana, baby, please explain. I don’t understand. Did my beard hurt you? Scratch you?”

“No Michael. It’s just the color. _He_ had the same color beard.” Jana said weakly. She didn’t know how much more of this she could take.

“Who, sweetie? Who is he?” Jana buried her face back in his chest. She couldn’t do this. She just couldn’t do this.

“Jana. Please tell me who he is. Who hurt you?” Michael could feel his anger rising. Somewhere, someone had done something to her, causing all this bullshit.

“He was my uncle Michael. He had reddish brown hair and blue eyes.” Jana stated. “Just like you,” she finished, whispering again.

Michael sat for a moment, trying to process this new information. Now it made sense. Jana must have been dreaming. She was having some kind of nightmare about this uncle of hers before she woke up.  She had her head on his chest and when she woke she saw his beard, Michael thought. His red beard.  He didn't even have a full beard now, just a week of not shaving. What the fuck? What the fuck had happened with her uncle that his beard color would trigger this in her? He would find that out later. Right now he needed to take care of something.

“Jana I am going to lay you down on the couch while I take care of something, right? Will you be okay?” Michael asked, lifting her up off his lap and moving to lay her down. As he laid her down, she wrapped herself tighter in the blanket, and nodded, “Yes I’ll be fine.” Michael picked up the remote and turned the television on, before leaning down and smoothing her hair off her forehead. “Do you need anything before I head out?”

“Can I have one of my pills?” Jana asked him, not looking at his face. She was so full of shame and embarrassment. It was killing him inside to see her this broken. He needed to fix it somehow. 

“Absolutely.” Michael walked over to the counter where the pills were, grabbed one and a bottle of water and brought it back to Jana. “Here you go sweetie.” Jana took the pill, placed it in her mouth, and swallowed it down with a sip of water. "Right, then."  Michael placed a brief kiss on her forehead and began to stand up.

“Thank you Michael,” she reached for his hand. “I don’t know how to explain all this, and I am so sorry you are a part of this...I - ” She was close to tearing up again.

Michael sat back down beside her on the couch and put his index finger on her lips, effectively silencing her. “Nonsense, my sweet little Schatzi,” he replied, smiling softly at her. “That’s what friends are for right?” He kissed her once more on the forehead before grabbing his cellphone, room key, and sunglasses. He stepped out into the hallway, locking the door behind him and walked across to the elevator, angrily pushing the button to go down. 

He was going to go find some razors or a barber shop and shave this goddamn beard off right now.


	21. Chapter 21

Michael stepped out of the Walgreens, his shades on and a new hat pulled down low on his head. Another damn hat. Thankfully he had gone unnoticed. He really wasn’t in the mood for any fans right now. He had gotten what he needed – a razor and some shaving cream. As soon as he got back to the hotel he was going to take care of his face. As Michael walked back, he decided to cross the street and walk over to the seawall, trying to get his thoughts in order before going back to the room. He found a lone bench that wasn’t taken by tourists yet and took a seat.

He needed a fucking cigarette, but he was trying to quit. Fuck but if he didn’t want one right now.

As Michael looked out towards the beach, he watched as the waves came in and out, crashing onto the shore. It was a beautiful morning. One that he didn’t want to waste. There was so many things he wanted to do with Jana, but to be honest she was scaring him. He had never seen someone so damaged. He’d certainly never had someone – especially a female – react to him the way she had. He barely knew her, but yet he felt so protective of her, even now. She was beautiful to be sure. Not his typical type, but beautiful nonetheless. She was short when he usually went for tall and leggy. She was Caucasian, when he was known for loving the darker skinned ladies. She had brown hair and brown eyes – nothing exotic about her. To be quite honest, she was the antithesis of everyone he had ever been attracted to. Maybe it was because Jana was real? Strip all the Hollywood glamour away and you had Jana. Quiet, reserved, shy Jana. The Jana whose nose crinkled when she laughed. The Jana who chewed on either her fingernails or her lower lip when she was worried or indecisive.

He thought back to their initial conversation – if you could call it that. He sent out that text message and his Jana had answered. For whatever reason, she answered. Their friendship was born. It was rocky, he laughed to himself, remembering how she had cussed him out. As many times as Jana said she didn’t want to talk to him anymore, she would always answer or text him. He had come to look forward to her texts, and eventually phone calls and emails. They had a friendship that didn’t require answers. She didn’t ask about his personal life and he didn’t ask about hers. They had never crossed that line with each other. They made each other laugh, and he pissed her off – or so she says.

Michael smiled softly to himself, thinking about how Jana had always been so happy when he had sent her a box, or a postcard. However, the thing with Jana was that she didn’t ask him to do those things. Unlike most women he knew, Jana didn’t want anything from him. She didn’t care that he was famous. In fact she hid from the fans when he got surrounded. That alone made him want to do things for her, things that he had never done for anyone else. She made him want to do things for her. He had never felt that way about any female to be quite honest. He’d never given anyone a leather shark tooth bracelet either, Michael thought with a wry smile. That had to mean something right? He simply couldn’t figure her out, even now.

If his manager knew about Jana he’d tell him to run, and run fast. Michael knew this. There was something seriously wrong with Jana. He wasn’t blind. He could see something had happened, and it was still affecting her. In spite of that, Michael wanted to take care of her. He had seen how he could calm her down, how she responded to his touch, to his laugh, to his gentle joking. He knew he had an effect on her. She was starting to trust him. She would watch him like a frightened deer, curious but cautious. He had seen her watching him last night. It almost seemed like she wanted something from him, but was too afraid to ask. She was so timid. He remembered how his heart had melted and his breath caught when she had crawled onto the couch with him last night. She would not have done that if she knew he was awake. But he was, and he couldn’t help but smile thinking about it now. She fit perfectly next to him, tucked under his chin. He had never been more comfortable than when he had wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, hearing her sigh softly into his chest.

And then it all went to shit.

That was the scary part. He needed to find out what was wrong, what had happened. They had maybe 2 days left together, and then they would go their separate ways until the next time – if there would be a next time. What if there wasn’t a next time? Michael's brow furrowed at this thought.  What if this was it? Michael knew that if he and Jana were to have any kind of relationship – even a friendship only – he was going to have to work, and work hard at it. Would Jana work as hard? Would she want to have a relationship with him? This was ridiculous, he thought to himself. Not to be conceited, but he did not lack in the women department. He didn’t have trouble there at all. Now that he wanted to possibly have a relationship with someone, would she want one with him? He remembered what she had said about actors. She didn’t have a high opinion of them. Even worse, would Jana be able to handle his world, and could he handle hers? A movie star and an Army captain? In what world did that pan out? Fuck if he knew.

“Fuck me,” Michael said out loud, running his hands through his hair. He took one last look out at the waves rolling in and out, picked up the bag, and headed back to the hotel.


	22. Chapter 22

When Michael made it back to the hotel, he was surprised to see Jana had gotten up, showered, and was dressed to go out. She was sitting at the counter in the kitchen, drinking coffee. She was wearing a pink tank top, denim shorts, and was barefoot. She smiled at him as he walked in, closing the door behind him.

“For a minute I thought you had caught a plane back to New York,” Jana said shyly. Michael smiled back, walked over and kissed her on the forehead.

“Of course not, love. You can’t run me off that easy,” he told her with a wink.

“So where’d you go?” Jana asked, eyeing his Walgreens bag. “The pharmacy?” she arched an eyebrow.

“Actually that’s a surprise, love. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be back out,” he said before heading off to the bathroom. He popped his head out of the room once more, saying “I’ll be right back,”  before disappearing into the bedroom. Hearing the bathroom door shut, Jana took the rest of her coffee and headed out to the balcony. She needed to get some sun, and it was still early enough for it to not be stifling. She was still sitting there, staring out at the ocean when Michael opened the balcony door and stepped out, grinning his shark grin at her.

Jana’s mouth dropped open.

He had shaved his beard off. All of it. His facial hair was completely gone.

“Michael…” she trailed off. God he must think she was a complete freak now! She had made him shave his beard off! Fuck, Jana thought!

“Do you like this better?” Michael asked. “I know my beard bothered you, so I got rid of it.” He was still grinning, all teeth on display. Jana just sat there. She was really speechless. He seemed happy but…

Michael held his hands out, palms up. ‘Well?? What do you think?” He waved one hand around his face, gesturing at where his beard used to be. Jana didn't know what to say.

“Michael I didn’t mean for you to shave your beard. I mean…you didn’t have to..” she trailed off.

“Pfffft!” Michael snorted. “It’s just hair – it’ll grow back - and soon.” He walked over and knelt down beside her chair. He grabbed her hand and placed her palm on his cheek. “Do you like this better or not?” he asked her, his eyes searching her face for something, anything to let him know he’d done something good.

Looking at his eyes, seeing the earnestness there, Jana came to the realization that he hadn’t done this because he felt pressured to shave. He hadn't done it _because of her_ \- he had done it for her. To help her. He knew his beard made her uncomfortable. He went out, bought a razor, and shaved it off. For her.

Jana rubbed his cheek a bit, causing him to close his eyes and lean into her palm. “Yes, Michael. I like this much better. Thank you,” she said with a smile. He opened his eyes, smiling back at her. “Now what should we do today?”

Michael leaned up, planted a soft kiss on her forehead before replying, “Whatever you want to do love. I'm all yours.”


	23. Chapter 23

It was the night before Jana and Michael checked out of the hotel. They had spent their final days walking Galveston Island and there was nothing they hadn’t done. They were trying to fit it all in, make as many memories as possible. They both knew this. The inevitable was coming – they would be separating tomorrow morning. They hadn’t talked about any of the incidents - Michael didn’t ask and Jana didn’t offer. There was an unspoken sentiment hanging in the air - don’t waste the precious time they had left.

Back in the hotel, Jana was busying herself with all the minor details, packing up her things in the bedroom so as not to forget anything tomorrow. Michael stepped out of the bathroom, wearing only a pair of board shorts, his hair still wet and spiky from the shower. Jana could see his reflection in the mirror. She couldn’t help but stare. The man was perfection. She could see the water still glistening on his skin where the towel hadn’t quite done its job. His broad shoulders were much tanner now that he had been out in the sun so much. Those shoulders led down to his wide chest, which had just enough hair to run your fingers through. That chest hair tapered down, coming together below his navel and heading down to-

“You alright, love?” Michael asked, scrubbing at his hair once more, trying to dry it. It was even more spiky now. He had caught her staring at him in the mirror. Fuck if she didn’t want to run her fingers through his hair, feeling the short curls that played at the nape of his neck. “Jana?”

Jana snapped to, turning and looking up at his face. “Oh yeah,” she said hastily. “Was just thinking of what I needed to leave out. You know for tomorrow….” she trailed off. The subject that no one wanted to talk about. Jana quickly grabbed her things and headed into the shower, shutting the bathroom door behind her. She needed to calm her mind. She quickly turned the water on, letting the steam fill up the room while she stripped. She stepped in the shower, feeling the hot water run down her back, washing away all the sun, sand, and salt that she had accumulated today during their excursions. As Jana began washing her hair, her thoughts turned back to Michael.

She was attracted to him. There – she admitted it to herself. She had almost been raped by one man in the past week, then freaked out on this man because of his beard color, and now she was attracted to him. Highly attracted. Who wasn’t attracted to him? Fuck he was one of the hottest things going right now - or so she heard. But was her being attracted to him after all of this bullshit normal? Before she had always shied away from anything sexual, doing the least amount possible. She didn't seek men out, didn't try to be sexy. When she was in a relationship, the sex was for the guy. It was always something they wanted. Sex just wasn’t her thing. She had come to accept that. Her body just wasn’t made for sex. She didn’t like it, it made her feel dirty, and she never got anything out of it. She just wasn’t made for sex – bottom line.

Michael – on the other hand - that man was like walking sex. He was made for making love.  Michael was different. He made her feel different things, things she had never felt before. He felt safe and she was attracted to him - all at the same time. That was a foreign feeling for Jana.  Any woman would be lucky to be the object of his affection. An uncontrollable shiver washed over Jana as she thought again of him standing there, fresh out of the shower, water still trickling down his smooth face and onto his chest. She wondered what he smelled like? “Fuck, Jana! You idiot!” she mumbled to herself. She needed to stop this and stop it now. Jana hurriedly finished washing her hair and turned the water off. Grabbing the towel that was hanging on the shower rod, she wrapped her hair up before grabbing another towel to dry off. Jana quickly got dressed in sweat pants and a tank, pulled her hair up in a messy bun, and headed back out into the living area.

Fuck.

Michael was standing at the kitchen counter, eating a small pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Still shirtless. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Jana thought. She was not going to be able to keep her eyes off him. Doing her best to ignore him, she headed straight to the fridge herself, grabbing her own pint of ice cream. She grabbed a spoon and headed to the couch, not saying a word. Michael just stared at her, licking the last bit of ice cream off his spoon, his head turning and eyes following her as she walked over and sat on the couch. Jana felt the cushion sink next to her as Michael plopped down.

Fuck. He was still shirtless. Not only was he shirtless, but he was sitting two inches away from her. Fuck. Jana began angrily jabbing at her ice cream, desperately trying to take her mind off him. Fucker.

“Jana – sweetie – is something wrong?” Michael turned towards her, curiousity in his eyes. Jana turned to look at him once, practically glaring, before turning back to the television. She didn’t even know what the fuck they were watching. “Jana?” he asked once more.

“No.. MICHAEL….nothing’s wrong.” She ground out, emphasizing his name.

“What flavor have you got there?” He leaned over her, trying to peer into her ice cream. Jana angrily moved her ice cream away from him, holding it out to her side. “None of your business. You have your own. Eat that.” Michael leaned forward, placing his ice cream and spoon on the coffee table before setting back on the couch and turning to her.

“You are being a brat. What flavor have you got?” he asked her once more.

Jana sighed. A pent-up, frustrated, fuck-off sigh. “Salted caramel core-something or other. If you really must know,” she bit out.

“Can you give me a bite? I have never tried that flavor.” Jana eyed him suspiciously. What was he playing at? She needed to get up off her ass and off this couch before she did something stupid. Like try to jump on him. That would be really stupid.

With a huff, Jana reluctantly offered him her pint and spoon. Michael shook his head.

"No, sweet, just get a spoonful and give me a bite." Jana looked at him sharply. He wasn't smiling, but she could see something in his blue eyes. It seemed like they had darkened. Was she imagining things?? "Just get out a tiny bit and give me a bite." he said softly once more.

"Ok, whatever..." she mumbled as she dug out a small spoonful before offering it to him. Michael leaned forward and slowly took the ice cream in his mouth, his eyes never leaving hers. Jana swallowed hard, almost in a daze. She watched as he licked his lips, removing any trace of leftover ice cream. She nervously bit her lower lip as she stared at the corner of his perfect mouth. If she could just -

Michael leaned forward and ever so slightly pressed his nose to hers, foreheads touching. His eyes were closed, and he sighed deeply before turning his head a fraction and lightly brushing his lips across her cheek. Jana closed her eyes. She couldn't breathe. Fuck he was making it hard to breathe. She could feel his breathe hot on her cheek as he nuzzled it, his lips softly moving across her skin. She turned her head, subconsciously seeking his lips and found them. She felt Michael's lips on hers, soft at first. He was so gentle, a tiny nibble on her lower lip, and light suck on her upper lip. She felt him take the ice cream from her slack hands. Then his strong hands were on her face, cradling it as he kissed her with more force, but still questioning her, asking for permission.  She was lost. All that mattered now was his lips on hers, the feel of his hands on her face, pulling her closer. Jana grabbed at his shoulders, feeling the bare skin and the hard muscle there. She couldn't get close enough to him. Jana wrapped her hands around his neck, her fingers tangling in the hair at the back of his head, trying to pull him closer.

And then it was over. She felt Michael's fingers prying her hands off his neck, bringing them back around to her lap. He had stopped kissing her, his forehead resting against hers once again. Both were breathing heavy. Jana was in a daze.

"Michael? What did I do wrong?" Jana asked hesitantly, still unsure of what had happened. She obviously wasn't a good kisser if his reaction was any indicator. 

Michael was still breathing heavy, trying to catch his breath when he pulled back to look in her eyes.

"Nothing, baby. You did everything right." he said with a small smile.

Jana was confused. "But?"

"But - I don't want to do anything you are going to regret, sweetie." Michael said to her, smoothing the hair off her forehead. Regret? What the fuck?! Jana thought to herself, blinking in confusion.

"Michael I am not going to regret anything. If I did something wrong tell me. I'll fix it," she argued with him, her eyes searching his face for signs of disappointment.

Michael smiled at her, and then kissed her once more on the mouth - hard this time - before pulling her into his arms. He maneuvered them so that they were laying down, she with her head on his chest. Jana could feel the tears welling up. She knew she wasn't good enough for him. He was used to Hollywood stars with perfect bodies and no mental health problems. She was a fucking basketcase with a weird body. She couldn't contain the sniffle that slipped out.

"Jana? Baby? Are you crying?"

"No I am not," she replied, trying to bury her face back in his chest. Michael was having none of it. He sat back up, taking her with him. He pulled her away from his chest, tilting her head up with his finger under her chin. She had her eyes tightly closed.

"Baby look at me," he ordered. "Jana open your eyes and look at me. Please."

Jana opened her eyes, looking at Michael with a mixture of longing and regret. She was so embarrassed and the tears were coming . "You don't want me?" she whispered.

Michael wiped her tears away with his thumbs. "Fuck Jana. I have never wanted anyone more than I want you right now. It's taking everything in me not to fuck your brains out right now. You are so goddamned sexy and it's killing me not to make love to you right now." Michael's voice was strained, his mouth set in a hard line.

"Then...why?" she asked him. None of this made sense.

Michael ruefully smiled at her again before replying, "Because, baby, I know that if we made love right now it would help neither of us. Yes it would be fucking fantastic, but I don't want to do anything you'd regret." Michael eyes fell to her mouth as he stroked his thumb over her lower lip. "You have no idea how much I want to kiss you again. No idea at all."

He looked back up at her eyes, still seeing the unshed tears there.

"Baby, how I have controlled myself this long I'll never know. What I do know is that there is something different about you, something special, and I don't want to ruin it with one night. You have some things that have been hurting you, and I don't want to complicate things for us. Do you understand?" He looked at her, pleading with her to understand, to believe him. "I want there to be an us, baby, not just some night in a hotel. Believe me when I tell you how much I want you. You are fucking sexy and it's taking every bit of self-control I have not to give in and make love to you right here." They continued to stare at each other - Jana waging a war with self-doubt and Michael begging her to believe him. "You believe me, right?"

Jana nodded slowly, not sure whether she believed him or not. Michael kissed her once more on the forehead before pulling her back down on top of him, resting her head on his chest. He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered the both of them.

Neither of them would get much sleep that night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

The next morning came all too quickly. Neither Jana nor Michael wanted to get up. They lay there for some time, Michael absentmindedly stroking Jana’s back while she fiddled with the sparse hair on his chest. He did smell wonderful, Jana thought to herself. She could lie here all day, listening to his steady heartbeat under her ear. However, reality was beckoning. It was almost 8am, and they needed to check out by 11. Then make the trip back to Dallas to catch her flight heading back overseas, and Michael would catch his flight taking him to Los Angeles this time.

“What time is your flight again?” Micheal broke the silence.

“It leaves at 4..” Jana trailed off. She was miserable. Absolutely fucking miserable. Ordinarily she would be thrilled to be heading back downrange, but right now she did not want to leave Michael.

“Mine leaves at 5 I think.” Michael stated flatly. “We should probably get up, you think?”

Jana didn’t want to move. She was doing her best to keep the tears at bay. If she spoke now, she would lose it.

“Jana?” Michael asked again.

She just nodded and moved to get up, placing her hand on his chest as she tried to remove herself from the blanket. She needed to get to the bathroom so she could properly break down. Not in front of Michael. Michael could sense her pain, and grabbed her hand from his chest, pulling her back down on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her, and Jana broke down. Her tears fell softly on his chest. She didn’t make a sound, other than the occasional sniffle. This was not a sobbing, wailing crying spell – this was just heartbreak, plain and simple. She did not want to leave him. She was just getting to really know him.

“Wanna talk about it?” Michael asked, still holding her tightly, his fingers caressing her bare arms.

“No.” she mumbled. No she just wanted to cry, and stay buried in his chest. She definitely didn’t want to talk about it.

“Sweetie, I think we need to talk about it. If it’s this upsetting to you, we need to talk about it.”

Jana sniffled and wiped at her face before replying. “It’s only upsetting to me, so I will deal with it, ok? Nothing to talk about.”

Michael stopped rubbing her arms. “What do you mean only upsetting to you? You think I am not fucking pissed that we have to leave each other?”

Jana's breath caught. What was he saying?

“Believe me, sweetheart, I don’t want to leave any more than you do.” Michael whispered softly.

Jana pushed herself up off his chest and looked at him, searching his face for truth. “Really?” she asked incredulously. Did he really mean that? Michael grinned his shark grin, pulled her to him and kissed her soundly on the mouth. Jana was still dazed when he laid her back down on his chest and he once again wrapped his arms around her tightly.

“Of course, silly girl. I don’t buy just anyone a leather shark tooth bracelet, you know.” Jana looked down at her wrist, to the bracelet in question, and smiled softly. “I am going to miss the shit out of you.”

“So what do we do?” Jana asked softly.

“How much longer do you have overseas?”

“A little less than 4 months.” She replied. Fuck but that sounded like forever!

“Fuck that is a long time.” Michael hissed out. “Fuck it though. We’ll do what we have to do, right?” Jana nodded her head against his chest. “We can Skype now, and still email, and I’ll call you if you want. I’ll buy you a fucking cell phone if you want?” Michael continued. “Well? What do you think? Then when you get back we can pick up where we left off, right?”

Jana was speechless. She didn’t know how to respond. He really did want to maintain a relationship with her??

“Jana, baby, say something. What are you thinking?” Michael pressed. Why wasn’t she talking to him? Michael sat up, taking her with him. He leaned back from her, and lifted her chin with his finger, forcing her to look at him. “Can you please say something?” he asked her softly, looking in her eyes.

Jana wiped at her face, at the remainder of the tears, before replying. “I just can’t believe that you want to continue this. I am sorry. After everything I have put you through…all my crazy stuff..and you still want to talk to me? Are you sure?” She lowered her eyes, not wanting to see how he would respond to that. Yeah - she was fucking crazy – did he really want to be involved in that?

“You must be crazy if you think I want to let you go. All that other stuff? It’s all stuff we can fix, ok? It’s not who you are Jana. Something happened to you – yes – but that doesn’t make you who you are. You understand?” Michael forced her head back up, forcing her to look at him. ‘Right? We can fix whatever it is. I don’t want to lose you over that bullshit. Whatever I need to do to fix it I will.” He sounded very determined.

Jana could feel the tears in her eyes once more, but these weren’t tears of misery. They were happy tears. They had to be. She smiled shyly as she wrapped her arms up and around his shoulders, burying her face into his neck. Michael wrapped his arms around her, fully, holding her to him as he stroked her back and kissed the top of her head.

 

* * *

It was close to 2pm when they finally arrived at the airport. Though neither spoke much on the ride there, they held hands the entire time while in the car. Michael waited outside the airport rental agency as Jana turned in the car. He didn't want to be famous today. He wanted to spend what little time he had left with Jana. As she came out of the rental shop, he grabbed her hand and pulled her into a secluded area covered by trees and other decorative plants off to the side of the building. There was a small bench there on which he sat, pulling her down onto his lap. This time he buried his face in her neck. There was only a few minutes before they had to separate and get their boarding passes. Each would go in a different direction.

"I am going to fucking miss you." He mumbled into her neck.

"Don't make me start crying again, jerk." Jana said playfully, willing herself not to cry. Why was this so hard? They barely knew each other!!

"I can't believe you just called me a jerk. We have only a few minutes left and you're calling me names," he said, his mouth moving against her neck. She shivered as he did so.

"I'm sorry, you're right. How can I make it up to you?" Jana asked, running her fingers through his hair. He lifted his head and looked up at her.

"Kiss me." His voice was husky and his eyes were a dark, turbulent blue. 'Kiss me and I'll forgive you."

Jana licked her lower lip nervously, moving her hands from his hair and cupping his face as she lowered her lips to his. She was hesitant, unsure of herself, and not knowing what to do as she lightly pressed her lips against his. Immediately Michael took over, kissing her with a passion that made her dizzy. His lips pulled at her lower lip, sucking on it slightly. Jana couldn't breathe. She didn't want to breathe. All she wanted was  for Michael to continue doing what he was doing. He had his hands at her lower back, pulling her into him as his lips ravaged hers. This kiss wasn't sweet and gentle any longer - it was a kiss full of longing and passion. A kiss for them to remember each other by.

The noise of a horn honking nearby brought them out of their seclusion. Michael pulled back, lightly kissing her on her neck, before looking up at her. His eyes were still that beautiful dark blue. Jana could feel that her lips were raw, swollen from his kisses. She bit at her lower lip again, wanting him to continue.

"Don't do that love." Michael said with a small smile, staring at her lips. "I want to be the only one to bite that lower lip." Jana stopped breathing.

"We should probably get up. If we continue here I won't be able to walk through the airport." Michael said, waggling his eyebrows and flashing his sharky grin. The man was positively depraved. He had her so weak at the knees, she didn't know if she could walk!

He stood up, helping Jana stand in the process. They were still holding each others' hands. Michael looked down at her. 'You'll email me when you get a chance?"

Jana nodded. Please don't cry, please don't cry! She willed herself not to cry.

Michael pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head, before pulling back to look down at her once again. He saw the sadness and he saw the worry, evident on Jana's face.

"Baby don't worry. It'll be over before we know it, right?" He forced a confident smile on his face. He would be damned if he would add more to her already full-plate. He needed to be the strong one here.

"Ok sweetie, it's that time. We need to get our boarding passes. Will you be alright?" Michael asked her, dropping one hand and picking up his bag with the other.

Jana nodded, "Yes, I'll be fine. Once I get on the plane I'll be fine." She was lying to herself. Once she got on the plane she was getting a fucking drink. A strong fucking drink. Hopefully she would sleep the whole way there.

Michael knew she was lying as well. There was nothing that could be done though. Not til she came back to him. "Right then. I guess we'll get on with it..." Michael trailed off, not wanting to drop her hand and let her go. How was he going to do this?

Jana did it for him. She dropped his hand, reached up and kissed him quickly on the cheek and walked away. She had to leave before he saw her break. Michael didn't say anything. He let her go.

He watched her disappear through the rotating doors and turn left,  before he pulled his hat down low and followed, heading right  in the opposite direction to get his boarding pass. These next 4 months were going to suck ass.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for what is about to happen. All good things must come to an end - at least momentarily ;-)

The months went by slowly for Jana. She and Michael communicated daily – sometimes multiple times in a day – for the first month or so. After that it began to taper off, just like before. Jana couldn’t solely blame Michael though. She knew he was busy on some new film, and she was busy herself. She had taken on multiple assignments, many that took her from Arifjan. She had done some traveling to Djibouti, Africa, in support of a possible new mission. For almost a month she was barely able to check her email, let alone Skype or use the phone. Work kept her busy. She was also in a better place mentally. Leaving Michael had been hard in the beginning, but like all things, time heals. She still cared for him, but it wasn’t a necessity. Not anymore.

However, she still tried to keep in contact with him. She would shoot out emails, and he would occasionally answer, most times with some short message telling her he missed her and couldn’t wait to see her. He would still send boxes, but they seemed to be fewer and farther in between. He hadn’t included any notes in such a long time. Jana would take a guess that he had someone buy the things and ship them for him – they were that impersonal. Yet she still did not blame Michael. She knew he was a good guy, but he was a busy good guy. Besides, he owed her nothing.

The evening before she was set to fly out, Jana was getting one last workout in. She was at the post gym, going for a run on the treadmill. All her things were packed and she had nothing to do in her room. She had accidentally packed her headphones in her duffle bag, and so she was stuck watching the few channels the gym offered. She hated running to television. She needed music, but it would have to do. She set the treadmill at a brisk pace, trying to get herself warmed up before she would start running. As she was walking, she flipped through the channels. Other than regular news channels, she could find a home and garden channel, VH1, and The Weather Channel. She settled on VH1. Some kind of mindless celebrity entertainment show was playing. She had it muted, but the headline stopped her in her tracks. She pushed the red stop button on the treadmill and stared at the screen.

It was Michael, promoting some new movie. There he was, _her Michael_ , with a woman on his arm. A very tall, very thin and beautiful, Hollywood actress on his arm. According to the headline, this was Michael Fassbender’s new girlfriend. Jana couldn’t breathe. She didn’t want to see it, but she couldn’t look away. It was like an accident – nobody wants to see it but you look anyway. There was her Michael. Her Michael. But he wasn’t now was he? She thought to herself. He looked happy and well. He had a full beard again, his ginger hair color on full display now. He was smiling at the cameras and at the woman at his side. She saw him whisper something in the woman’s ear, saw as he nuzzled the woman’s cheek, causing her to smile. The same way he had nuzzled her cheek. Jana felt like she was going to vomit. She was feeling physically ill. She could feel the sweat on her brow that was not from exercise. She had to get out of there. She couldn’t breathe. Now it all made sense. Jana quickly shut off the television and ran out of the gym, back to her empty room. Once she got there, she immediately reached for her anxiety pills.

She hadn’t taken one in so long. In almost 2 months she hadn’t needed one. She was getting better. Jana stared angrily at the pill, warring with herself. Did she really want to take it? She had been seeing a civilian therapist on Arifjan, and she had been working through her issues. Managing anxiety without pills was one of the things she had been working on. She thought momentarily if she should take it, and about why she was taking it as the therapist recommended. She didn’t need it – she knew that. She just didn’t want to feel the pain that she was feeling right now. Michael had hurt her, but did she really expect anything different from him? She had known him for practically a year, but had only spent roughly a week with him in person. They had never had sex, never proclaimed love to each other, and never made a commitment. What did he owe her? Nothing. He owed her nothing.

Jana’s mind was made up. She didn’t need the fucking pill and she sure as hell didn’t need Michael. She would close that chapter for good. Jana put the pill back into the bottle and set the bottle back up on top of the small fridge. She didn’t need the pill. No, what she needed to do was get rid of all the emails, messages and other shit he had given her. Jana looked down at her wrist. She was still wearing that goddamned bracelet he had given her. She was sure that motherfucker wasn’t wearing his, she thought bitterly to herself. She ripped off the bracelet, and went to throw it in the trash can. Fuck. They had already taken her trash can from her room as part of the clearing process. Jana tossed the bracelet in her backpack. She would throw that shit away tomorrow, along with whatever else she could find. Fuck him and his fucking bracelet.


	26. Chapter 26

Jana arrived back in Dallas a few days later. She would only be here for 2-3 weeks at her old unit, before she PCS’ed to her new stateside unit. She already had orders in hand. She had been given a choice – Fort Rucker, AL, or Fort Jackson, SC. Both were great places – both close to the beach. She ultimately chose Alabama. It was a smaller, more rural type community setting and it was fairly close to the beach with approximately a 2 hour drive to Fort Walton Beach, FL. Either duty station would have been great and she had already been to both. Fort Rucker was just better. She would spend the rest of the time here in her old unit clearing once again, getting her stuff ready to be moved, and just waiting basically.

The first day she got back, she spent in a hotel, waiting on temporary lodging. She wouldn’t get into another lease – not when she was moving so quickly. By the second day back, she was given billeting until she was set to leave, so at least she wasn’t living out of a hotel any longer. Jana had already set her household goods up to be shipped directly from the storage facility, so she was basically living off of what she had on her – which wasn’t a lot. She was not on leave but she wasn’t at work either. She was clearing post, which meant she would come and go as she pleased. She had found out from the 1SG that she was being given a “hail and farewell” at a local bar this Friday. While she normally dreaded these things, she wouldn’t mind this one as much. She was in a better place now, mentally and physically. She had weaned herself off her anxiety meds, was working out pretty much every day, and she just felt better. While she wasn’t ready to get married, she was ready to get back out there. She felt better about herself as a woman, and as a person.

While downrange, she had begun working through a great bit of her problems. As the therapist said, sexual trauma was something that would have to be dealt with for a while. There was no definitive moment when it would be “fixed” – it would be until. Until she had worked through it, whenever that may be. She had spoken with her therapist about Michael, and how he had helped her through a very difficult time. She never mentioned who he really was, but she had worked through the things that had happened with him, such as his beard triggering her. She had spoken about wanting to make love to Michael but not wanting to at the same time. As she had gone through the process of therapy, she had come to realize that she was normal. All the things she felt were normal reactions from someone who had been hurt, someone who had been traumatized. She and the therapist agreed that sleeping with Michael during that time would have done more damage than good. Now after everything that had happened with that bastard, Jana was especially glad that she hadn’t slept with him. No, the only thing she could credit him with was making her stronger, and allowing her to see that she was worth more than just a fuck in a hotel. He didn’t deserve her. She was worth more. It still stung when she thought about seeing him with that bitch girlfriend of his, but it is what it is. It was a distraction, nothing more.

* * *

 

Friday came and Jana had gone out with Andy - one of the other female captains in her unit - as both were looking for an outfit for the “hail and farewell” tomorrow evening. It was at a local bar, but a well-known upscale bar, and she didn’t want to look like a bum. She had worked hard for her body and she finally felt good about herself. She needed something to show off what she had worked hard for. They eventually wound up in a small boutique that sold a mixture of club wear and other dressy items. With her friend’s encouragement (peer pressure more like it) Jana finally settled on a little black dress, overlaid with lace. It was short-sleeved, and stopped just above her knees. Yes, she was definitely stepping out of her comfort zone. Fuck, she thought to herself as she looked in the mirror.

She stepped out of the dressing room, insecurity weighing heavily on her. “I don’t know about this…” she said hesitantly to her friend.

“Holy shit, Jana! You look hot!” Andy replied. “You are getting this dress! You have to!”

Jana kept looking at herself, only seeing imperfections and flaws. She just didn’t know. Was this appropriate for a “hail and farewell?

“Do you think this is appropriate? I mean really?” she questioned Andy. “Don’t lie to me either!” she warned her, eying her through the mirror.

Andy shook her head, “No this is perfect. We are going to a bar, there will be dancing and drinking, and this is the dress. You have to get it.” Andy smoothed the back of the dress out, still admiring it. “I can’t get over how much better you look..” she trailed off, eying Jana nervously.

“What do you mean?” Jana asked, looking at her through the mirror.

“Well, no offense, but you looked like shit before you left. We were all worried about you.” Andy said quietly. She didn’t want to offend Jana, but the truth was the truth. She had scared them all at one point. They all knew what had happened to her over there..

Jana turned to look at her friend, a small smile on her face. “Yes, I know I was not doing so well. There was a lot of …stuff…going on then, and I wasn’t handling it well. That deployment before almost did me in and I wasn’t handling it properly.” Jana continued, “I am sorry for being such a bitch all those times. You have always been one of my greatest friends while in this unit.” Jana grabbed Andy’s hand before continuing, “I am better now. Things have changed – I have changed. It was hard and it’s not done, but I am better now.”

Andy smiled, and pulled Jana into a hug, which Jana returned. “I know it was hard on all of us. Especially you and what you went through.” Andy whispered. “I am so glad you are back.”

They hugged each other a little tighter, before letting go and looking at each other. Both women had tears in their eyes. The bond that was shared between soldiers – especially females – was strong, no matter what. After all they had gone through, how could it not be?

“Now enough of this sappy shit! We have got to get makeup, get some hooker shoes, and get our nails done!” Andy said, making Jana laugh out loud. Andy was crazy - always was – but she was a good friend and just what Jana needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PCS - permanent change of station (when you move to another unit)
> 
> billeting - military temp lodging, for when you are passing through or waiting for a permanent place
> 
> hail and farewell - party thrown for people coming to a unit or leaving, these parties can get rowdy just FYI ;-)


	27. Chapter 27

Jana was nervously getting dressed in her bathroom. Andy was out there, running back and forth from the bedroom to the living room, finishing her makeup. As if that woman needed more makeup!! Jana fidgeted with the dress once again, still worried about whether she looked like a high-class hooker or not. This just wasn’t her, but she knew she needed to stop hiding behind her uniform. It was one of the things the therapist had told her. Desensitize yourself – do something that makes you uncomfortable. The more you do it, the more it won’t bother you so much. She knew she needed to do this. Fuck it, she thought to herself as she grabbed for her toothbrush.

“Hey, have you got any scissors? I need to cut something off this damn dress!” Andy called out from the living room.

“Yeah, check in my black backpack. Should be a pair in one of the small pockets.”  She finished brushing her teeth, wiped her face and mouth off, and stepped out of the bathroom, dreading what was to come. Andy was going to “help” her put makeup on. Fuck me, Jana thought with a grimace. She walked over to the bedroom, looking for Andy. She was standing by the bed, her backpack open.

“What’s this?” Andy replied, holding up the bracelet Michael had given her. “You get this in Galveston?”

Fuck. She had forgotten that was in her backpack. She meant to throw that shit away. Jana snatched it out of Andy’s hand, eliciting a small gasp from her. Andy held her hands up. “Hey excuse me. I didn’t know…”

“No it’s nothing. Just some stupid thing I got from someone while I was down there. I meant to throw it away.” Jana said bitterly.

Andy eyed her suspiciously. “You got it from someone? What did they do to piss you off so much?” she asked Jana. Jana was fighting back tears. Why now? Why the fuck now? Of all times, why now? She swiped angrily at her face, not wanting Andy to see how much it had affected her. It did not go unnoticed.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong, girl? I didn’t mean to upset you…” Andy looked at her with concern. “Wanna talk about it?”

Jana sat down on the edge of the bed, the bracelet still in her hand. She turned it over and over in her hands as the memories came flooding back. She remembered how proud he was of his little cheap bracelets, that stupid perfect grin on his face as he asked her what she thought of them. How annoyed he was when she laughed at him. Jana smiled wryly. What a bastard he was. Andy sat down next to Jana, putting an arm around her shoulders. “Do I know him?” she asked softly.

Jana laughed out loud. Did she know him? Fuck – everyone knew him. He was all over the goddamned television now.

“No, you don’t know him. He was just some guy I met on the island. We spent a few days together, nothing more.” Jana wistfully replied. She fiddled with the shark tooth, thinking again about him. She needed to get rid of this damn thing.

“Where is he now?” Andy pressed. Who was this guy??

“Now? I don’t know. Who knows? It’s not worth worrying about anymore.” This fucker was still getting to her, even now.

“Well it must have meant something to get you this worked up….”

Jana stood up, took the bracelet and walked over to the trash can, throwing it away. “No, it means nothing. It’s done.” Jana stated harshly, before forcing a smile. “Now you need to help me get my fucking makeup on so we can get going.” Jana walked towards the bathroom, looking for her makeup bag.

Andy eyed her friend curiously, not believing anything she said. She looked at the trash can out of the corner of her eye, then back to Jana, who was still busy in the bathroom. Andy quickly walked over, pulled the bracelet out of the trash can and shoved it in her own purse. She would hold on to that for just a little while longer.


	28. Chapter 28

Jana woke up Sunday with a massive hangover. Her head was pounding. She didn’t even remember what exactly happened. All she knew was she had too many shots. That was for damn sure, she thought, clutching at her head. Why was everything so loud right now? She squinted over at her bedside clock, seeing it was nearly 1pm. Fuck she had slept all damn day. She slowly got out of bed, easing her way into the bathroom. She finished in there and went to wash her face. Damn she looked rough. She was still in her dress, and her makeup was smeared all over her face. She looked like a damn raccoon with the rings around her eyes! She grabbed a towel and tried to wipe it off. She needed a shower, but first she needed to get something to drink and maybe some something for her head. She headed for the kitchen.

Walking into the living room, she saw Andy sleeping on the couch, wrapped up in one of her blankets. Damn. Jana didn’t even know she was there. What the fuck happened last night? She knew this dress was bad news. She fucking knew it, she thought as she looked down at it in aggravation. She walked over and grabbed the Tylenol from the top of the fridge, took 2 out and popped them in her mouth before swallowing them down with water. Setting her glass down, she went to make sure the front door was locked before she would get in the shower. Who knows what they had – or had not done – last night. Locking the door – because it wasn’t!! – Jana headed back to her room to take a shower and try to wash some of this shit off.

After she finished showering, Jana dressed in sweats and a tee shirt. She felt a little better, although she did throw up twice in the shower. She needed to get some food in her stomach, as revolting as that sounded. She headed back out into the living room area. She found Andy propped up against the sink, trying to wash her face with a dishrag. Jana laughed a little, although it made her head hurt. They were fucking idiots, the both of them.

“Hey,babe. Why don’t you go get a shower instead of using the sink?”

Andy turned to look at her, squinting her eyes in pain. She looked just as bad as Jana did – if not worse. “Because I am fucking dying and I don’t know if I can make it to the shower. I feel like I am going to be-” Andy quickly turned back to the sink and proceeded to throw up. Jana’s stomach turned and she ran back to the bathroom, feeling sick again herself.

As she sat on the floor, hugging the toilet, Andy stumbled in. They both looked at each other in misery. Jana leaned over and turned on the shower for Andy, nodding her head at her. Andy stripped off her clothes and climbed in, leaning her head up against the shower wall.

“It was that fucking dress. I told you I should have never bought that fucking thing…” Jana mumbled, lying down on the bathroom floor. The room was once again spinning.

“No it was the tequila.” Andy mumbled back. “I am sure it was the tequila…”

* * *

An hour later they were both seated on the couch. Neither one spoke. They sat staring at the television -which was muted - hoping to survive their hangovers. They didn't have any saltine crackers but Jana had white bread, so they were both slowly munching on a slice, trying to ease their turning stomachs. It was close to 4pm before they decided they were recovered enough to head out and find something suitable to eat. They wound up at the shoppette, grabbing chicken noodle soup, saltine crackers, and Sprite. Weren't those the things that you get for upset stomach?? While in line, Andy saw a little bottle that said "Hangover Relief" and she grabbed 4 of them, tossing them in their pile. She shrugged her shoulders at Jana. Couldn't hurt right?

They had spent the rest of that day sitting on the couch, the combination of meds and bland food finally easing their suffering. Around 8pm, Andy decided she would go back to her apartment and stay there. She had no clothes or personal hygiene items, and she was still wearing the sweats that Jana had let her borrow. They both had work call tomorrow, although Jana just had to show her face. She could leave after formation.  Jana closed the door after Andy, locking both the door and the deadbolt lock. She walked back over the couch and sat down, picking up her iPhone. She needed to set her alarm for tomorrow morning. She hadn't really used her phone much since she had been back. Her mother had called her 12000 times, and she wasn't ready for that conversation just yet. Jana got pissed again just thinking about what her mother had brought upon her. Jana had left her cell phone turned off the majority of the time, only using it for the alarm. As she finished setting the alarm, she noticed she had 11 text messages.

11\. Her fucking mother. She opened them up, intending to delete them all. Maybe she would block her as well...

But they weren't her mother - they were from Michael. 11 text messages from him. She hesitated, not knowing if she should read them or delete them. She was over him. She had worked so hard to be over him. This would just start it all up again. She chewed on her nail, wondering what to do? How would he explain his new girlfriend? If that was what he was doing, she chided herself. Maybe he would lie about it like most men do, and hope that she would believe him. The bastard. No, she was over him, but curiousity of course won out. She opened up the first text message.

It was sent a week ago. How was she just now getting it?

 **Michael:** _**Jana, babe pick up. I have been calling you a thousand times. You should be home now.** _

 

He never once called her. She checked, right then and there. She checked and he never called her. Lying bastard. She went to the next message.

 

**Michael: _Fuck! Where are you? Why are you not getting my messages? It's been over 4 months, I know you are home. Text me or call me please._**

Next message...

**Michael: _What the fuck does that email mean? I thought we discussed this? You need to call me or text. Email me. Please_**

**Michael: _How can you send that kind of email and not respond back? What the fuck is going on?_**

 

What the hell was he talking about? She had emailed him and he never emailed back.

 

**Michael: _Look I don't know what is going on. Please text me or email me._ _I'm heading out of the country for work but my phone and email work. Please baby._**

**Michael: _Hello? Please text me back. Call me. Something._**

**Michael: _You know I can figure out where you are right? Just like the hotel. Text me or I will come find you. I swear I fucking will._**

**Michael: _Why would you send the boxes back? That must mean you are home right?_ _Goddamnit I am getting pissed off now. What the fuck._**

 

What the fuck? Jana had no idea what he was talking about. She hadn't gotten a box in over 2 months. He wasn't sending her boxes so how the fuck could she send them back???

 

 **Michael:** _**Why does your phone keep ringing? It never goes to voicemail. Are you blocking me or something. Fuck** _

 

Jana looked at her call log again. No. The bastard hadn't called her. Not once since they left each other at the airport that day. Fucking liar.

 

**Michael: _Are you getting my emails? Why won't you email me back?_**

 

"Because I don't have any emails!!" She screamed at her phone. She could feel her heart beating fast. She was livid, jaw clenched tight. He was a damned liar.  The last message came this morning. **  
**

_**Michael:  Jana please. I am begging you. Please text me. My email must have gone to shit again. I don't know. Please text me. At least let me know you are ok. If you are done with me, then okay. I get it. I have read and reread your emails a hundred times. I will leave you alone. Just like you asked. I'll do it. Please just let me know you are back and safe. Please** _

 

Jana sat back against the couch, not knowing what to do. What the hell was going on? She grabbed her laptop, opening up hotmail and looked for emails. There were none there. Not even in her spam folder. He was lying. He hadn't sent her any emails. He probably didn't have time, what with his new girlfriend. Fucking bitch. 

Her mind was going a hundred miles an hour, all kinds of scenarios playing in her head. Closing her laptop, Jana thought about the last time when Michael didn't communicate with her. That time he had actual email problems. Could that be the case again? Even so, it still didn't explain his bitch-face girlfriend, she thought, her mouth set in a an angry line.

Jana pulled up her messages again. Fuck him.

 

 **Jana: _Yes I am home. No I didn't send any boxes back as you never sent any to me. I don't know what you are talking about with the emails either. Regardless, I hope you are having a good time with your new girlfriend. Sure didn't take you long. That's ok though, it didn't take me long to replace you either_**.

Jana angrily hit the send button. Take that, asshole.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

Jana's phone buzzed in her hand. In less than 5 minutes Michael had sent her a text back.

**Michael: _I can explain all that. Why aren't you picking up? I am calling you, have been calling you since I got that text. I don't have a girlfriend, please let me explain._**

**Michael: _I told you not to watch the television. None of it's true. Please pick up._**

**Michael: _Where are you? I can come to where you are right now. I will get on a plane and come now. Just let me explain in person._**

 

Jana didn't know what to do. Could he possibly be telling the truth.  And why did he say she wasn't answering? He wasn't calling!! Damn it she was so confused right now! She didn't need this stress right now, she really did not.

**Jana: _I am leaving here in a few days. Makes no sense for you to come now. I don't know what to believe. I know what I saw. I saw you kissing her and I saw the headline. I saw it._ **

She had tears in her eyes now, damn him. She just didn't want to think about what she had seen. She was over him. Why she was even this emotional was beyond her. She barely knew this man!

 

**Michael: _It's not true. Nothing is as it appears. Please you have to believe me. Please let me come and talk with you. Just give me an address._**

**Michael: _I am begging you to believe me. It's not true._**

 

Jana was so upset now. Why wouldn't he just stop already? She was supposed to be over him. Fuck she had kissed someone last night -another man - and it felt good. She even contemplated going home with the guy. She was over Michael. That was the proof. She had kissed someone else, just like he had. She was over Michael.

 

**Michael: _Please_**

 

She needed time to think. She needed to move and get settled and she needed time to think.

 

**Jana: _I don't know. I know what I saw. Please let me get to where I am going and then we can talk later. Just not right now. I can't deal with this right now._ **

 

**Michael: _I understand. When will you be leaving? Where are you going? Fuck. I don't want to push you, but I don't want to lose you again. You have to believe me. I don't have a girlfriend and there is no other woman. It's you Jana. It's only been you since I met you. Just please let me explain._ **

 

Jana could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks. Goddamn him. He had done it again, pulled her back in when she thought she had escaped.

 

**Jana: _I am moving to Fort Rucker, AL. Will be leaving in less than a week. Please don't contact me. I will contact you when I am ready. Let me have time to think. Please._**

 

**_Michael: Ok. I won't bother you anymore. Please don't forget everything we had. That shit on tv is not real. Galveston was real. I still have the bracelet and I wear it everyday. Please don't forget all that._ **

Jana shut her phone down. She simply couldn't take anymore. She looked over at the trash can. She got up quickly and ran to get the bracelet back out. It was there, she put it there. She dumped out the contents on the floor, searching through all the paper and miscellaneous garbage. She was on her hands and knees searching for it, frantically pushing paper and trash around. It wasn't there. Fuck! Where was it? She could barely see through her tears. She couldn't find it. Jana leaned up against the wall, letting the tears overtake her.

 


	30. Chapter 30

It was the night before Jana was set to leave. Andy had offered to take her out to the movies, and Jana – needing a distraction – had agreed. They had agreed to watch some comedy. Jana needed a comedy, she simply couldn't handle anything emotional right now. After they got their tickets, they got in line for some popcorn and soda. There was a lot of people there tonight. Andy was busy playing on her cell phone and Jana was looking around at nothing when her gaze landed on one of the movie posters hanging on the walls of the lobby. It was a poster for _X-Men:Days of Future Past_. There he was. Her Michael. Granted, he looked different on the poster, but there was no mistaking those eyes. Jana blinked rapidly, tearing her gaze away from the poster. She would not do this now. Not now and not tonight. She would not.

"Hey you alright?" Andy asked, noticing the look on her friend's face. "What's the matter?"

Jana blinked again, swallowing hard. She couldn't tell Andy. She wouldn't understand. She wouldn't believe her probably, and she wouldn't understand.

"It's nothing." She forced a smile on her face. "Just gonna miss you is all." She wrapped an arm around Andy's shoulders.

"Aww! You are gonna make me cry!" Andy replied, using her fingertips to wipe at her eyes. "Come on, let's get our snacks and go watch this damn movie."

They got their snacks and headed into the theater, sitting along the back row. The two of them together were crazy. Andy had a way of making Jana laugh when she wanted to cry. She was just crazy. As the previews started rolling, they had to stop their laughing and giggling. The lights dimmed and the screen came alive. Andy still had her cell phone out, bright as hell in the dark theater.

"Put your phone away!" Jana whispered to Andy.

"Hold on, let me check us in!" She whispered back. She hurriedly updated her Facebook status. Andy and her damn Facebook addiction.

"Omg you are ridiculous..." Jana said, louder than she intended, popping a piece of popcorn in her mouth.

The first preview rolled, something about a night where people could kill each other. Crazy, Jana thought to herself. Crazy movie. She would need to watch that one.

The music for the next preview started. She knew immediately what it was and her heart stopped.  There was Patrick Stewart as Charles Xavier. It was the preview for _X-Men:Days of Future Past._ Goddamnit. There was Michael. She couldn't escape him. She leaned forward, her hand on the seat in front of her. There he was, larger than life on the screen.  Jana stopped breathing. There was Michael as Magneto. He was so beautiful. She couldn't breathe, she really could not. She watched as they showed various clips of him in the trailer. Then she heard his beautiful voice. Damn him. Damn him all to hell. She felt claustrophobic. She had to get up. She needed to get up and go to the bathroom. She needed air. She quickly put her popcorn on the ground, grabbed her purse and stood up. She had to get out of there.

"Hey!" Andy looked up at her. "What's wrong? What are you doing?" Jana stumbled over her, trying to get out into the aisle. "Jana!" Andy grabbed at her arm.

"I have to get out of here. Please. I need to go to the bathroom." She was going to pass out, she could feel it.

Andy nodded her head in agreement, "Ok babe, we'll go. Let me grab my stuff, I'll come with you." She grabbed her purse and followed Jana out of the theater and into the hallway. They headed towards the bathroom. Once inside, Jana ran to the sink, turning on the water and splashing it on her face. Her face was hot and her heart was beating fast. Was she having a panic attack?

"Jana, sweetie, what's wrong? What happened in there?" Andy asked her. She was worried about her friend. She had been doing so good.

Jana didn't answer, but kept splashing water on her face. She felt like she was overheating. What the fuck was wrong with her?? She stood up, fanning herself with the paper towel, trying to cool off.

"Jana, you wanna leave? We can, no biggie." Andy rubbed her back, trying to soothe her friend. "Want some tylenol or something? Rolaids?"

Andy began digging through her purse. Fuck, she could never find anything in this damn bag! She dumped out the contents of her purse on the counter, looking for tylenol, or tums, or something to help her friend. The black bracelet fell out, falling off the counter and onto the floor. Andy quickly looked at Jana. Jana was looking down at the bracelet. She had seen it fall to the floor. She leaned down and grabbed it off the floor clutching it to her chest.

"Where did you find this?" she whispered to Andy. "Where?" she demanded.

"Well I just thought that...you know...based off your reaction.." Andy nervously smoothed back her hair before continuing, " I just thought you would want it someday. That's all." She finished quickly.  "I wasn't trying to steal it, or hide it from you, or anything like that. You know that right? Jana?"

Jana started smiling, and grabbed her friend, crushing her in a hug.

"Oh my God, you are so stupid and I love you so much!" Jana said to her, tears in her eyes.

"What?" Andy said, leaning back to look at her friend in confusion. "You have to tell me what's going on with this damn bracelet. First you were pissed and throwing it away, and now you are hugging me because I dug it out of the trash? Spill." Andy placed her hands on her hips, a determined look in her eyes. Jana was going to explain this damn broken bracelet if she had to squeeze the truth out of her.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Jana said, looking down at the bracelet in her hand. She had found it. "Just thank you for knowing me better than I know myself sometimes." She looked back up at her friend, a huge smile on her face. If nothing else, she had the bracelet.

"Nuh-uh. No ma'am. You are not getting by that easy." Andy shook her head. "You have to tell me what is going on."

"I'll tell you later, I promise. We're gonna miss the movie remember?" Jana said, grabbing her purse. She grabbed Andy's purse and began shoveling all of her shit back in. Who had this much shit in their purse? Really? Andy just watched her, thinking how crazy her friend was.

"Ok so 10 minutes ago you were having a panic attack. Now I give you back a bracelet that you threw in the trash and you are all good? What the fuck?" Andy asked her, watching as she continued to put all her stuff back in her purse.

"I'll tell you later! I promise! Now come on!" Jana said, grabbing Andy's purse and handing it to her. "Come on!" She held open the door, waiting for Andy to follow. Andy just shook her head in disbelief and stepped out into the hallway. Jana was still grinning like an idiot. Andy rolled her eyes at her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

Later that evening, Jana and Andy were walking arm in arm from the theater, heading down to a small bar. Jana knew Andy was going to grill her on the bracelet. How would she explain it to Andy when she herself didn’t even know what was going on? They stepped into the dimly lit bar, finding a booth off to the back that was empty. They slid in on opposite sides. Andy leaned across the table, looking at Jana intently.

“Spill.”

The music wasn’t as loud back here and Andy knew she heard her. Jana looked at her out of the corner of her eye, still busying herself with situating her purse.

“Spill what?” she asked innocently.

She reached in her purse, feeling the bracelet, making sure it was still there. The corners of her mouth rose in a small smile as the felt the sharpness of the tiny shark tooth against her fingers. It was still there.

Andy pointed a finger at her, jabbing it in the air at Jana’s face. “That! That right there! That smile and that damn bracelet!”

“Ok what do you want me to say?” Jana asked, “Fuck I don’t even know what to say about it.”

“You are being so cryptic, oh my God. What does that mean?? Why did you throw it away if you wanted to keep it?” God it was like pulling teeth with her!

Jana sighed. There was no escaping this. No way. She would start at the beginning. Maybe Andy would tell her just how nuts she really is. Someone had to be the voice of reason here.10 minutes later, Andy sat back against the seat, her mouth agape. For the first time in their friendship, Andy was at a loss for words. Momentarily, at least.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She grabbed her phone, pulling up a pic of Michael and pointing at it. “This guy here? Michael Fassbender? Are you serious?”

Jana didn’t answer, but instead pulled up her text messages, showing Andy some of the texts from Michael. The pics he had sent her and some of the emails he had sent.

“Close your mouth, babe. Mouth breathing is not attractive at all…” Jana said to her with a giggle.

“Well forgive me if my best friend is dating a movie star and hasn’t told me about it and I am a little shocked right now ok?” She glared at Jana. “How could you not tell me? After everything we have been through? I think this is something you tell your friend…”

“Well technically I am not dating him. I don’t even know if he is single, if that damned television show has any truth to it…” she trailed off, her mouth setting in a hard line remembering him kissing that blonde bitch. She hated her, whoever she was.

Andy was busy looking on her phone. Apparently she had googled Michael Fassbender girlfriend. She was not pleased with the results if her frown was any indication.

“Do you wanna see it?” she asked Jana hesitantly.

Jana shook her head vehemently. “No, I fucking do not want to see it, whatever it is.”

Andy closed her phone down before looking back up at Jana. “So now what? When did you talk to him last?"

“The day after the party..”

“Sunday?? When we were drunk or when we were recovering? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was after you left, crazy. Later that night. Apparently he had been texting me a thousand times and I didn’t know, or I didn’t get the messages. I don’t know, it’s weird..”

Andy slapped her hand over her mouth, her blue eyes huge in her tiny face.

“What?” Jana asked her. What now?

“Oh my God you kissed that guy at the party! You almost went home with him.” Andy whispered conspiratorially. “You almost cheated on Michael Fassbender with some douchebag major. Oh my God! You did cheat on him if you count that kiss!”

Jana scowled. “Did you not just pull up something online saying he had a girlfriend? Besides, we are not dating so you cannot cheat on someone you are not dating.” Jana crossed her arms across her chest. She was too old to be playing these stupid games.

Andy took a sip of her water, “Whatever you say…”

“What does that mean? I didn’t cheat on him. Helloooo? If anybody cheated it was him.  All over the damn television with that fucking blonde bitch.” Jana picked at her nails. This was not the conversation she wanted to be having, not the night before she was leaving.

“Hey what’s wrong with blondes?” Andy twirled a lock of her golden hair around her finger. “We’re not all whores you know…”

“No they are not. They’re only whoreish when they are hanging off of Michael.”

“Agreed. She is a whoreish bitch and we should probably go kill her.  Wanna leave now?” Andy asked her, her face dead serious.

Jana laughed out loud. “You are so stupid!” She really was the craziest person she knew – outside of herself. Jana sobered up. “He said he is not dating anyone and that it is not true. He said what I saw on the tv was not true. I don’t know what to believe.” Jana could feel herself getting sad again. Andy had seen enough.

“Give me your cellphone.” She held out her hand, palm up, and gestured for Jana to give her phone to her.

“No, why?” Jana said.

“Just give it to me. I am going to call the bastard and see what the truth is.” She continued to hold her hand out, bending her fingers back and forth.

“Are you crazy?! No way.” Jana shook her head. She was absolutely not giving her cellphone to this maniac across from her.  Geez!  They were two women in their 30’s, arguing about calling a guy to see if he was cheating or not.

“Don’t you trust me not to do anything stupid? I’ll call him really quick and be straight up. I can tell when dudes are lying.  Give it to me.”

“So you’re an expert in detecting cheaters now?” Jana shook her head again. “No way. He’ll really think I am crazy then.”

“Well let’s see. You answered a random text message from some dude. Texted and called each other. Then spent a week with him in Galveston.  Freaked out on losing a cheap bracelet. I would say you are both crazy.” Andy leaned across the table, trying to grab the cellphone from her hand. “Just give me that damn phone. Don’t you wanna know?”

She did want to know. Who was she kidding, Jana thought to herself.  She needed to know.  Desperately.  She slid the cell phone across the table and buried her face in her hands. She was going to die right now.

 


	32. Chapter 32

“Oh my God I am seriously going to die right now. I hate you,” she mumbled to Andy from behind her covered face.

“No you don’t. You love me and you’ll thank me for it later.” Andy replied, scrolling through the text messages, finding his number. She pushed the contact number.

“Oh my God it’s ringing!” she whispered to Jana. Fuck of course it is, Jana thought miserably. He would answer and would realize just how nuts she really was.

“It won’t stop ringing.” Andy looked at Jana. “Does he not have a voicemail?” Jana just shrugged her shoulders. Maybe he was declining her calls now?

“I am going to try from my cell. See if he answers that.” Andy punched the numbers in her phone, and pushed the connect button. She nodded at Jana, indicating that it was ringing again.

“Hello? Is this Michael?”

Oh. My. God.

Jana was going to die, right here. Right here on this bench she would pass away.

“I’ll explain that in a minute. Yes I know who you are.” Andy's voice was even, diplomatic. 

“Wait, what? No don’t hang up. This is Jana’s friend.”

Oh fuck. It was really happening.

“Yes you heard me correct. What? Yes she is here.” Andy nodded her head, chewing on her fingernail as she listened to him. “No, no, no. She can’t talk right now. She’s in the bathroom?” Andy looked across at Jana, shrugging her shoulders.

“The bathroom??” Jana mouthed to her. Really? Andy shrugged her shoulders again.

“She is very good actually.”

“No I have a question for you. Are you cheating on her?”

Fuck.  Just like that? Jana closed her eyes in embarrassment. 

“No it is my business. You don’t know her like I do. Are you cheating on her, yes or no. Simple answer.”

“She is still in the bathroom.” Andy was tapping her fingers on the table now, her eyes fixed on Jana.

“Yes she knows I called you. Answer the question.”

If looks could kill, Andy would be dead right now.

“Because you are parading all over the internet and tv with some blonde bitch. Why wouldn’t she think that?”

“No, not til you answer. She is still in the bathroom anyways.” Andy bent her finger and looked at her nail, well what was left of it. She could do this all day.

She suddenly looked up at Jana, a smile crossing her face. “You’re not? She was hired? Really?”

“You are not lying to me right? I’ll know and I’ll find out and beat your ass.”

“No I am serious. I’ll beat your ass.” Andy cocked her head for emphasis. 

“Jana is the only woman you want to be with…” Andy smiled, repeating what he was saying.

Jana was tearing up, relief or happiness – she couldn’t tell. Damn Andy and her brilliant ideas.

Andy was smiling at her now. “Yes she is back now. You wanna talk to her?” Andy looked pointedly at Jana. “Do you wanna talk to him?” she mouthed to Jana.

Oh God did she want to talk to him or not? Her heart was beating out of her chest. He wasn’t cheating on her and he was on the phone.

“Yes give it to me, give me the phone!” she whispered to Andy.

“Ok here she is.” Andy was grinning like a damned idiot, incredibly proud of herself. She sat back against the seat back, watching the miracle she’d just created with a self-satisfied smile.

 

"Hello?" Jana spoke hesitantly into the phone.

"Hey, baby." **  
**

God his voice melted her. It had been so long. She would not cry, she would not cry, she repeated that over and over to herself.

"Wanna tell me what that was all about?" Michael asked her. 

"She's crazy. Ignore her," Jana replied quickly, looking at Andy who was still grinning at her like an idiot. **  
**

Jana looked at Andy, still grinning like an idiot.

"How are you?  Why haven't you been answering my phone calls?"

Jana's brow wrinkled in confusion as she answered. "I never got any phone calls, Michael."

"Really? And what about the boxes and emails?"

"I only got two boxes, Michael."

She could hear Michael swearing across the line.

"Only two boxes? I gave that fucking asshole specific instructions...."

"What does that mean, Michael?" Jana asked him. She was so confused. **  
**

"I got busy with work and had my manager send the boxes.  He knew what I wanted in each as I gave him specific instructions," Michael explained. **  
**

She could hear the aggravation in his voice. What the hell had happened to the boxes, emails, and phone calls?

"I am not cheating on you. I have not been with anyone since I met you. I promise. Do you believe me?" Michael asked her. 

Jana nibbled on her lower lip, staring across the table at Andy. "Well?" she mouthed to Jana.  Jana just shook her head, unsure of what to say or believe. Her mind was going crazy with possibilities and unanswered questions!

"Jana?"

"Yes, I am here. Michael I saw you on tv with her. I saw you...kissing her. I saw it." Damn that was hard to choke out.

"When we meet in person I will explain all that. Basically she was hired. I need to talk to you about that, but want to do it in person.  When can I see you"

"Why can't you tell me now?"

"Just trust me please. I need to do it in person. I also need to figure out some things with my manager apparently." Michael sounded exasperated. "When can I see you? Have you already left Texas?"

"No, I leave tomorrow. I fly out early tomorrow morning, should be there around noon," Jana answered, unsure of why she was even answering his questions.  She was still so damn confused!

"Where are you staying? Hotel or what? I don't know how any of this works."

"I may be able to stay on post at the lodging but odds are I'll stay off post for the first night."

"Let me get the room and you meet me there. Can we do that? I can catch a flight out early tomorrow as well." His voice was soft, cajoling even, and Jana found it hard to say no. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach.  Fuck.  He wanted to see her tomorrow. Fuck!

Sensing her hesitation, he quickly assured her. "If you don't want to that's fine, we don't have to. Whatever you want to do."

Jana looked across the table at Andy, who was dying from wanting to know what was being said.

"Hold on Michael, ok? Just give me a minute?"

"Okay."

Jana placed her phone on mute and looked at Andy. "He wants me to meet him at a hotel tomorrow in Alabama so he can explain things. What should I do?" Jana was talking and breathing fast. This was not happening.  This could not be happening!

"Fuck yeah you'll meet him! Are you crazy?" Andy practically yelled at her. "Get back on the phone and tell him yes. Do it!"

Jana nodded and un-muted her phone.

"Okay, I'll do it," Jana said, feeling anything but sure. **  
**

"Did you get permission from your bodyguard?" Michael asked with a chuckle.  He was laughing and so Jana laughed as well.

"Yes. She said it was fine," Jana replied, still giggling. 

"So she approves of me then?" Michael asked, the humor still present.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far just yet...." **  
**

Michael laughed again, loudly and Jana cracked another smile as she stared across the table at Andy.

"Okay she's letting you come, that will do for now, love.  Look,  I hate to let you go but I need to handle some things here so I can leave tomorrow. I will text you with the room information when I get it, right?"

"Okay," Jana answered him. Her heart felt like it was going to pound right out of her chest!

"Okay, sweetheart, I will see you tomorrow, right? I don't know if I will be able to sleep now," Michael admitted softly, and Jana felt herself blush at his words. 

"Me either," she confided, her cheeks getting even hotter with embarrassment. **  
**

"I have missed you," Michael stated simply, and Jana could feel her stomach drop at his words.

"I missed you, too," she admitted softly.

"Okay then I'll call or text you tomorrow, right? I'll explain everything and make it better, love." **  
**

Jana nibbled on her fingernail as she replied. "Okay I'll wait for you text then, and I'll see you tomorrow." She didn't want to hang up and she didn't think Michael wanted to either. **  
**

"Okay until tomorrow, then." **  
**

Jana hung up the phone reluctantly. It was evident that neither wanted to hang up but they had to. She looked across the table at Andy.

"Well??? What happened?"

"I am meeting him tomorrow. He's getting a hotel for us. I'll fly in to Dothan and meet him at the hotel." Jana said matter-of-factly. Andy got up from her seat, and hurried over to Jana's side, hugging her friend.

"I am so happy for you! You are officially dating Michael Fassbender! Oh my God, I hate you and love you all at the same time!" Andy squealed.

"You are such an idiot. How will I ever introduce you to him? How do I explain _this?_ " Jana gestured up and down at Andy. Her friend was a nut in the truest sense of the word.

"Oh I don't need to be introduced to him. If he has single friends, now that's a different story..." Andy wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh my God you are crazy!"

"Yeah but you love me."

Jana turned and hugged her friend again, all joking aside. "You are right. I do love you. More than I love my own family." Andy was tearing up and so was Jana. "No don't cry! I am serious now. I don't know what I would do without you. I don't want to leave you." Jana removed her arms from around Andy, and looked down at her hands in her lap. This was the part she was going to hate the most -leaving her friend. She looked back up at Andy, seeing the un-shed tears there.

"Girl please. You are leaving me to go be with Michael. Don't worry about me! From everything you have told me, and all I have seen, I think he may be what you need," she looked Jana in the eyes, dead serious. "Don't waste it, Jana, and don't be afraid. Not all men are assholes. Give him a chance, ok?"

Jana nodded her head, "I think you're right. I need to try. I am scared shitless, but I need to try right?" She looked to Andy for encouragement.

"Fucking yes you need to try. That man is sex walking. I am sorry but he is fucking hot!"

Jana laughed at her friend. Crazy to the end, but she loved her nonetheless.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	33. Chapter 33

Jana’s plane arrived in Dothan sometime after 3pm. There had been a delay in her original flight, causing her to not be able to take off until after 11am. Michael was a little aggravated to say the least. Impatient or aggravated -he couldn’t tell. He had found them a hotel, the Residence Inn, and had booked them the most expensive room as well as the rooms next to it and the rooms in front. He did not want the interference from fans. Not today and not in the foreseeable future. Michael had been in the room since around noon, having caught a flight out of NY early that morning. The wait was killing him. He wasn’t much of a TV watcher, and there were only so many times he could rearrange his clothes and things. When the fuck was she going to get here?? Luckily they had the weekend before Jana had to sign in at her new unit. That means they had all of tonight as well as Saturday and Sunday before she would have to leave him. Michael was pacing by the window, looking out at the pool, when his mobile vibrated in his hand.

**Jana: Ok I just got here. Still waiting on the plane. They’re unloading the luggage and then we can get off.**

**Michael: Ok I am on my way.**

**Jana: What do you mean?**

**Michael: I rented a car. I’ll be there shortly. I’ll wait in the parking garage so we don’t have to deal with anything.**

**Jana: Ok, will text you once I have my luggage and things.**

**Michael: Ok love. Can’t wait to see you**

**Jana: Me either**

* * *

 

 

Jana stood by the luggage turnstile, waiting to see her suitcase come through. She was so fucking nervous. Somewhere out there, in the parking garage, Michael was waiting for her. Fuck. She could feel her heart beating in her chest. Finally her bag came through, and she grabbed it off, pulling out the handle so that she could roll it. All she had was a suitcase, her black backpack, and her purse. Everything else was enroute to or already in storage somewhere nearby. She’d find out on Monday. Until then, she had today, and the next two days to spend with Michael. Fuck she was nervous. She was walking towards the doors leading out the airport, when she saw the bathroom. She needed to see what she looked like first.

Heading in, she stood her bag by the wall, and looked in the mirror. Fuck she looked tired. Her dark blue tank, jeans, and flip flops did nothing to add to her vitality. She looked like a bum. She should have worn something more appropriate. Fuck!! Her hair didn’t look completely horrible, as she had highlights put in a few weeks back. It was now more of a caramel color, dark and light brown interlaced. She grabbed her brush from her purse, running it through her hair before pulling it back in a low ponytail. Pulling out her make-up bag, she grabbed some powder and brushed it over her face, trying to look a little less tired. She coated her lashes with some mascara, and dabbed on some lip gloss. Looking at herself in dismay, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

**Michael: ??**

Jana smiled nervously to herself as her heart started beating faster. He was so impatient!

 **Jana: I am coming out, leaving the bathroom**.

Jana grabbed her perfume, sprayed some on, and popped a piece of gum in her mouth. She grabbed her worn hoodie from on top of her suitcase, slipping it on and zipping it up. She shrugged at herself in the mirror. This was the best she could do. Fuck it. Jana started walking towards the doors, stepping out into the humid Alabama heat. As she was pulling her sunglasses down over her eyes, she was approached by a security guard, holding a piece of paper that had her name written on it. He was an older gentleman, probably mid 50s, his hair graying around the edges.

‘Excuse me, are you Jana Sears?” the security guard asked her.

“Uhmm yes…” Jana replied. What the hell was this about?

“Ok good. My name is Mike. I am a security guard here. I was asked by your boyfriend to come escort you to where he is waiting.”  Mike smiled at her.

Her boyfriend?? Oh God. It was really happening.

“Follow me this way, ma’am. I’ll take you to him.” Mike gestured in the direction of the garage.

Jana nodded, following the security guard out into the parking garage. It was dim in the garage. She pulled the sunglasses back off her face, and placed them on her head. They turned left, walking towards the back of the parking lot. They headed towards a small SUV, a Ford Escape or something. Jana could see him leaning up against the back of the vehicle. He was looking down at his phone, the bright screen showing clearly in the dim garage. Hearing their footsteps, he looked up. Jana’s breath caught. There he was. Her Michael. He closed down his phone, put it in his pocket and headed towards them. He was wearing some kind of loose cargo shorts, a t-shirt, and flip flops. They were a few feet from the vehicle when they stopped. Jana and Michael just stared at each other. The security guard, sensing he was no longer needed, took his leave.

“Thank you, Mike.” Michael called to him.

“Yes sir.” Mike turned back, before continuing to walk away.

Michael looked back at Jana.

“Hey.” Jana whispered softly.

Michael broke out into his signature grin, all his teeth flashing. He quickly moved towards Jana, pulling her into his arms and crushing her against his chest.

“Hey baby,” he whispered back, his lips pressed against her hair. God he smelled good. She breathed in his scent - a mixture of soap, cologne, and Micheal. Jana wrapped her arms around his back, feeling his muscles move as he stroked her hair.

“You will not believe how much I have missed you. Fuck you had me worried.” Michael said to her, squeezing her hard once more, before pulling back and looking at her. “You ready to go, love?”

Jana nodded. She was still in a bit of shock, if she were to be perfectly honest. Michael grabbed her suitcase, tossing it in the back of the SUV before holding open the door for Jana. He waited til she was seated, closed her door, and came around to his side, hopping in. He started the vehicle up, and turned and looked at Jana again.

“You look beautiful,” he smiled at her, causing her to blush.

“You can’t see anything in here, crazy..” Jana protested.

“Still look fucking hot to me, babe.” Michael leaned over, grabbing her chin and pulling her in for a kiss. Jana felt his lips on hers, felt the heat rush all over her body. Michael stopped, his lips hovering over hers, breathing each others' breath. He leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes closed. “God I have missed you so much. Don’t ever do that shit again.” Jana rubbed her nose against his, a small smile on her lips. He really had missed her.

“I missed you too,” she whispered against his lips. “Let’s get out of here, ok?”

“Right.” Michael kissed her once more, pulling his sunglasses down before buckling his seat belt and backing out the car. They exited the airport and headed to the hotel.

Jana looked over at his hands on the steering wheel. Sure enough he was wearing that damn bracelet. Fuck.


	34. Chapter 34

Jana and Michael arrived at the hotel a little while later. They would go in separately – Michael said it would be easier that way. Jana was curious but didn’t question him. She went up first, using the room key he had given her. Stepping into the room, Jana was shocked. She had no idea there was such a room in Dothan! It was huge! She dropped her backpack, walking around the living room area. She opened one of the first doors she came to – a huge bedroom with a huge bed. She saw a suitcase on the floor next to the bed, which must be Michael’s. It had a huge bathroom complete with a Jacuzzi tub. She closed the door and headed back out into the living room area, crossing over to the door on the other side. Opening it she found yet another bedroom. Smaller than the previous, but still huge. Fuck. This place was bigger than her apartment back in Dallas. She was closing the door to that bedroom when the front door opened. Michael came in, carrying her suitcase. He walked over to the kitchen counter, removing his shades and set the suitcase down.

Jana quietly watched him, chewing nervously on her thumb nail. He was so damn handsome. His hair was a little shorter this time, no curls in the back, and it was darker. He was also clean shaven, not a hint of stubble. He turned, looking for her, and found her - a smile lighting up his face.

“Come here baby.” He walked over to her, pulling her into his arms. For some ridiculous reason Jana felt like crying. She had never felt such relief as she did wrapped in his arms. She buried her face in his chest, and held him for all she was worth. Michael smoothed her hair down, kissing the top of her head.

“Are you ok? Babe?”

“I’m fine,” she mumbled into his chest. She was not moving from this very spot. She was not.

“Let’s go sit, right?” Michael led her to the couch, sitting down and pulling her into his lap. Michael could tell that she had gained some weight, which he was quite happy about. From what he had seen, she looked healthier than before. Her hair looked different and she had filled out some. He sat holding her for some time. He was sure she was crying, but he didn’t want to rush her. He was content holding her in his arms. They would sit here until she calmed down.

She hadn’t spoken much on the ride over. Michael was wondering how much of the previous conversation – the girlfriend – was still bothering her. He needed to explain things, but it could wait til she felt settled. His mouth set in a hard line as he thought about his fucking manager and all the meddling he had done. That fucking bastard. He was fired now but Michael was still pissed, knowing the damage would not be undone quickly. These were the parts of Hollywood that he hated. The rules – spoken and unspoken – were all such bullshit.

Jana sat up, wiping at her face. “Let me run to the restroom real quick, ok?” she asked Michael, not looking at him. She crawled off his lap and headed towards the master bedroom. Michael just sat there, watching her walk away. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, his hands clasp together under his chin.

Jana walked into the bathroom, closing and locking the door. She turned on the air vent, trying to add some noise to the too-quiet room. She walked over to the huge bathtub and sat down on the edge. She could feel the fucking tears in her eyes and she was so damned pissed off. This was not how she anticipated this going. Not at all. She was still raw from that damned television show, from Michael not staying in touch – all of it. It was all too much, and now that she had him here – in her arms – she was freaking out. What the fuck? Why couldn’t she just be happy? She sat there, letting the tears fall for some time. She didn’t know what the fuck she was crying for but she was. Thankfully Michael did not come looking for her. She needed to get it all out, whatever it was. When she had no tears left, she stood up and walked over to the sink.

Great, she thought herself. She already looked like shit but now it was worse. It was obvious from her red-rimmed eyes that he would know she had been crying. Fuck. She grabbed a washcloth, running it under the cold water and tried to calm her face down. Her skin was splotchy now. Just the kind of impression she wanted to make on him, she thought to herself, looking in the mirror angrily. Oh well. Better to get it all out quickly. Jana smoothed down her hair and took a few deep breaths before opening the bathroom door and stepping out. She headed back into the living area.

Michael was setting on the couch, staring at the television. She walked over and sat down next to him, close but not touching. Michael shut off the television, put the remote on the coffee table and turned and looked at Jana. He could see she had been crying. He so desperately wanted to pull her back into his arms, but he knew they needed to talk.

“Michael I need to know the truth. About everything.” Jana said quietly, not looking at him, but instead down at her lap where she was fiddling with her hands, rubbing her fingers together.

“Ok where do you want me to start?”

“Who is the blonde lady?” she asked bluntly. No sense in beating around the bush.

“She was hired. She is nobody of importance.”

“I saw you on television when I was overseas. I saw you whispering in her ear, smiling at her. I saw you kiss her.” There was an almost imperceptible crack in Jana’s voice on the last sentence.

“Jana – baby – she was hired. I was being an actor. Nothing more.”

“Why did you have to pretend you had a girlfriend? You have been single before, right? It was no big deal then?” She turned and looked at him, her eyes accusing him.

Michael ran his hands through his hair in exasperation. Here was the hard part. “My manager? Remember? Apparently someone saw us on Galveston Island. A tourist, paparazzi – I don’t fucking know. They were going to leak the photos.” The next part was the worst. “A few of the pics showed your bloody lip and black eye clearly.”

“What?” Jana gasped, her hands flying to her mouth.

“Yes. I don’t know if you know any of my history but a while back an ex-girlfriend of mine accused me of domestic violence. Which I didn’t do.” He added hastily. “And so my manager in his infinite fucking wisdom started doing damage control.” Michael’s voice got harder as he spoke. “ He said we couldn’t have those types of photos out right before the movie premiered. The studio would have freaked out, it would have been a nightmare. I agreed for all involved.”

“What does that mean – for all involved?” Jana asked quietly. She did not like where this was going.

“They were looking into who you were, Jana. Trying to dig stuff up on you.”

Jana could feel herself getting pissed off. Pissed and fearful and nervous all at the same time. What if they found out about that motherfucker trying to rape her? Would that be splashed all over the news as well? “And?” she demanded of him.

“So we bought the pictures. The usual Hollywood plan - buy the pics and threaten to sue. Simple enough. In exchange I would give them the true story of my most recent girlfriend.” Michael said flatly. “My manager found me a girlfriend, and we played the part. Glammed it up for the cameras.”

“I told him about you, and what my intentions were. My main concern was you, Jana, and what you would think seeing the headline with the woman.” Michael looked at Jana, watching for her reaction. Did she believe him? Fuck if he knew. “He assured me he would handle everything until you got back and we could manage it. He said he would explain things to you and make you aware of the situation. I trusted him.”

Jana didn’t know what to say to all of this. She was furious. She could feel her face on her fire.

“What I didn’t know was the lengths my fucking manager would go to. He made sure you and I weren’t together in any way. He intercepted emails and sent me emails pretending to be you. Said you had changed your email. Told me to change mine since I had been hacked again” Michael rubbed his mouth and chin before continuing. “The emails I got from you said to leave you alone, that you had found someone else. That you couldn’t handle seeing me this way, never spending time together, all that bullshit.” He looked at Jana, remembering all those times she had told him to fuck off through email. His mouth was set in a hard line, the muscle in his jaw ticking. “When the boxes came back I figured it had to be true. He blocked your number on my cell phone, which is why I never could call you or you could call me. I don’t know how the fuck he did it, but he did.”

Jana sat there, remembering the text messages from Michael, asking her what was going on. “I got all your text messages all at once a few weeks ago..” she trailed off. She was still not understanding.

“Yes. I figured out what the bastard was doing and he unblocked the numbers and handed me back the old cell phone. During the times he said my phone was hacked, I was given a new cell phone. He told me he would give you the number.” He turned to Jana, the muscle still ticking, now in his forehead as well.

"But he didn’t did he?” Jana shook her head. “No he would intercept on my old phone and email, and I would be sending from the new phone, but your number was blocked. Who knows how many times I emailed you, only to have it sent to some random email where that fucker was catching them.”

Was this even possible? Jana looked down at her hands again, trying to take it all in. Did this asshole really do that? Go to these lengths to keep them apart?

As if he could read her mind, Michael answered her. “Yes he did all of that. All in the name of job security and saving my precious image. I know he was pressured by the studio execs, but fuck. I think he was responsible before as well. When I found out I fired him on the spot.”

Michael reached over, grabbing one of Jana’s hands, intertwining her fingers with his. “Jana, love, look at me. Please look at me.” Jana looked at him. She was going to fucking cry again. She just knew it. She bit at her lip to keep the tears at bay. He was looking at her with is beautiful blue eyes, begging her to believe him.

“Do you believe me? Please tell me that you do.” Michael pulled her hand up to his lips, kissing it softly. “I didn’t know baby. I didn’t know how far he would go. I am sorry.”

She saw the bracelet on his wrist as he kissed her knuckles. He had been wearing it. She could feel the tears, but she also felt a small smile begin to form.

“You have been wearing the bracelet?” she asked him softly, looking at his wrist as he held her knuckles to his lips.

Michael looked down at the bracelet, smiling back up at her with a shy smile. “I told you I would and I did.” He arched an eyebrow, looking at her empty wrists. “Where is yours?”

Jana looked down at her empty wrist. “I got pissed when I saw you and the blonde bitch and I tore it off.” She looked up at him. “I threw it in the trash.”

Michael just nodded, accepting what she had to say. What could he say? He didn’t blame her for acting the way she did and feeling what she felt.

“However,” Jana continued, “my crazy friend you spoke with? The one on the phone? She dug it out of the trash without me knowing. It’s in my backpack.” She hesitated now. “But it’s broken. I broke it when I ripped it off.” She looked at Michael, her voice and face full of regret. “I am sorry I broke your bracelet. I was pissed off. Completely pissed.” She shrugged her shoulders. It was true. She had wanted to kill him and rip that bitch’s head off.

“My little Schatzi was jealous, was she?” Michael asked playfully.

Jana glared at him. “Of course I was. I wanted to kill you both.”

“And now?" Michael asked her, once again bringing her hand to his lips, his eyes boring into hers. Jana was breathless. "What do you want to do now?”

“Make up for lost time?” she whispered to him. She watched as his lips kissed each knuckle. When he opened her hand up and kissed her palm, she thought she would die right then and there.

“Oh we’ll definitely do that,” he whispered against her palm. “First we need to get something to eat. You’re going to need your strength.” Michael grinned mischievously at her, his eyes dark and stormy.

 


	35. Chapter 35

Michael decided he would go get food alone, that way they didn’t have to risk anyone seeing them. After everything Michael had told her, Jana agreed. What the fuck? What did he mean by they were trying to dig stuff up on her? Other than all the bullshit she had been through, there was nothing there. Just thinking about it pissed her off. She needed to calm down. She walked into the bathroom, eyeing the tub. Looking at it, she decided that was exactly what she needed. She could take a bath while Michael was out getting food. She turned the water on, dumping some of the hotel body wash in the tub. As it filled up, she stripped her clothes off and got in, sitting down with her arms wrapped around her knees. She rested her head on top of her knees, thinking about all that had transpired today, and over the past year.

What the fuck was she doing here? Michael’s last statement to her led her to believe that he was thinking about sex. She couldn’t lie to herself – she was too. She was thinking about how much she sucked at it. She had never been very good, at least not according to her boyfriends. She had wanted it occasionally, but it never turned out the way she hoped it would. She couldn’t relax – why couldn’t she relax they asked? Why did she just lay there?  Jana knew she had issues from her past. Her therapist had said so much.

“Your past experiences can definitely shape the way you view relationships, especially sexual ones,” she had said to Jana.

Of course she knew this. How to fix it? That was a different story. Would she ever be able to fix it? She couldn’t answer that.  Michael wanting to have sex with her was terrifying.  She would suck as usual, and that would be the end of it.  Jana turned off the water as it was nearing the edge.  She leaned back, resting her head on the back of the tub. Yes, Michael would see just how screwed up she really was and he would run screaming to the hills.  It was only a matter of time. She was jerked out of her thoughts as she heard a knock at the bathroom door.

“Yeah?” she called out.

“I’m back. Got food.” Michael said to her through the door. “You okay in there?”

“Oh yeah I am good. Getting out of the bath. Will be out shortly, ok?”

“Ok I’ll be waiting.”

Jana finished washing up,  letting the water out and getting out of the bathtub. She dried herself off, got dressed in a tank top and sweatpants. She pulled her toweled-dried hair up in its customary bun on top of her head, not bothering to dry it.  She stared at herself in the mirror, picking apart every flaw and imperfection. There were plenty of them, she thought to herself. She was so short. Her boobs were too big for her small frame.  She hated them. Always self-conscious of them. She would smoosh them down as much as she could, wearing minimizers. Even now, she had on a sports bra under her tank, trying to flatten them. Still, the tank top was too much, revealed too much. She didn’t have another shirt in here so that couldn’t be helped – unless she wanted to walk out into the living room and grab her suitcase. No, the tank top would have to do. As soon as she got out there she would grab her hoodie and pull it on.She pulled at her sweatpants, trying to get them to sit right. Not only were her boobs too big but so was her ass. She couldn’t remember how many times other soldiers had asked her if she was mixed, since she had a “ghetto booty.” What the fuck? She could never lose enough weight to make either her boobs or her ass go away. One of these days she was having a breast reduction. She would kill to be one of those women who had small boobs, the ones who could go without wearing a bra.

Her ass and her boobs had always been a problem for her. Her stepdad’s friends would comment on them when she was a teenager, making her more self-conscious than she already was. She grimaced, thinking about all the times they would come stumbling in her room, high as a fucking kite after a night of weed and booze. She learned really quickly to not sleep too heavily, and to always be on guard. She remembered how she would sweat due to having the blankets wrapped so tightly around her. They had no AC at her house growing up, so rather than have the fan in the open window, she would put it next to the bed instead, circulating hot air.

“Why don’t you leave the fan in the window? It’ll be cooler that way,” her mother had told her countless times.

Yeah, it’ll be cooler that way, but those fuckers would try to mess with her through the open window. They had already done it many times before she learned. No, she would rather sweat to death than invite that, Jana thought to herself bitterly. Yet another instance in which her mother had failed her. Jana glared at herself in the mirror, wondering what could have been done differently, how things might be different now. Maybe if she had fought harder, told someone else besides her mother?

“Stop it,” she chided herself. Her therapist had told her countless times that it wasn’t her fault. None of it was her fault and she was only a child. While that sounded good in theory, it didn’t ease the feeling that she had brought this on herself. She would have fought harder, not worn the things she did, etc., if she didn’t want to attract attention. This was one of the reasons she loved the military – the uniform. When you were in the uniform, everyone looked the same and it covered your whole body. But, like everywhere else, she wasn’t completely safe - even there. Men could -and would - still be assholes. She’d learned that firsthand downrange.

“Babe? You coming?” Michael asked once more, disrupting her thoughts.

“Oh yeah, 2 minutes. Sorry.”

“Ok I’ll wait for you but hurry because I am fucking starving.”

“Ok.” With one last look at herself, Jana grabbed her deodorant, slapped some on, and headed out into the living area where Michael was. She found him sitting at the kitchen counter, the little television under the cabinets turned on to some home and garden channel. He had food spread out everywhere. There looked to be burgers and fries, some kind of barbeque, and little boxes of Chinese takeout. Jana looked at him, her eyebrow cocked.

“Hungry?” she asked him.

He shrugged his shoulders, looking around at the food before them. “I didn’t know what you liked so I stopped at a few places. This barbeque is fucking fantastic!” He popped another piece of brisket in his mouth. “I thought Texas was the barbeque place? I never thought Alabama would have shit like this.” He picked up a piece of brisket, holding it out to Jana. “Here, come try this, babe.”

Jana looked at him skeptically. She had barbeque here before, but as far as she knew it was never as good as Texas barbeque. The last time she was here was years ago, and she didn’t remember what it tasted like down here.

“Here, take it. It’s good!” He motioned for her to come closer. “Open up. Take a bite.”

Jana walked over to him and grabbed at the piece of brisket he was holding between his fingers. He snatched it away before she could get it.

"No, take it from my fingers,” he said softly. He held it back out to her, waiting.

He was testing her. He knew it and so did she. Jana remembered what Andy had said. “Trust him, give him a chance…” Jana stepped forward, opened her mouth and took the piece of brisket from his fingers. She closed her eyes, savoring the flavor. Fuck yeah that was good. It was tender and smoky, with just the right amount of sauce.

She did not see Michael’s eyes darken, or how he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

She opened her eyes, a smile on her face. “Yeah I think I will have some brisket too. That’s really good,” she told Michael with a small smile, reaching for a paper plate to put some food on.

Michael swallowed hard as he sat watching her get her food. She was so oblivious to the effect she was having on him. That fucking tank top and those damn sweatpants were killing him. When she took that piece of meat from his fingers he stopped breathing. She had no idea how fucking sexy she was and it was killing him not to grab her and take her right here on the floor. Fuck. He had never been this attracted to a woman before. The fact that she had not an inkling of what she was doing to him just by wearing a tank top baffled him. How could she not know how hot she was? Her fucking ass was perfect. Round and high, making his hands itch to wrap around it. He didn’t even want to think about her breasts. She was so tiny and short that her breasts were almost disproportionate to her body. What it would feel like to have them pressed against his chest as he…

Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! He needed to stop. Right now, he needed to stop. Michael grabbed another piece of brisket, shoving it in his mouth, almost choking himself. He needed to get a handle on his train of thought. He had flirted with her earlier, throwing out that innuendo, but he knew she was skittish and needed time. He would just have to be patient. Fuck me, he thought to himself, grabbing a roll and shoving pieces of it in his mouth, before chasing it down with some water.


	36. Chapter 36

After they finished eating and putting up the leftovers, Jana joined Michael in the living room. He was lazily flipping through the channels, sipping on his water. She sat on the loveseat, not sitting by Michael. He looked at her curiously, patting the seat next to him. Jana hesitantly got up, walked over and sat next to him. He lifted up his arm, placed it around her shoulders and pulled her down to him, her head resting under his chin.

“Is this okay?” He asked her. He wanted her to be perfectly comfortable and did not want to push her. He could tell that something was bothering her, but he didn’t know how or if he should broach whatever it was. Jana nodded her head, scooting down a little lower so that she was more comfortable. They sat there for some time neither saying much, til Michael couldn’t take it any longer. He couldn’t stand uncomfortable silences.

“Care to tell me what’s bothering you?”

Jana didn’t move a muscle. Here goes, she thought to herself. She knew where this was headed and she was terrified. They had eaten. He had taken a shower. She had taken a shower. Nothing left but to have sex. Then he would leave her. Plain and simple. Jana sat up, moving his arm from across her shoulders and looked down at her hands in her lap. “I am not good at sex.”

Michael had just taken a sip of water and choked on it. ‘What?!” he sputtered, wiping water off his chin.

“I just think you should know beforehand. I am not good at sex. It’s not my thing.” She said quietly, still not looking at him.

Michael was at a loss for words. Kind of a rarity for him, but damn if she hadn’t done it. He had no idea how to respond to that statement. He leaned forward, placing his water bottle on the coffee table, and turned towards her “What do you mean?”

Jana shrugged. “Just what I said. I am not good at sex. I never have been. I know you want to have sex – at least I assume you do – but I am not good.” She said it so matter-of-factly that Michael was stunned. How could this gorgeous creature not think she was meant to be made love to? What did that mean – she was not good? Did he give her the impression that he only wanted sex from her? He was so confused! What the fuck had happened to her?

“I don’t look like your Hollywood women either. I am older, not in good shape, and I am just not good at sex. I don’t want you to be disappointed.” She was once again on the verge of tears. Fuck all this bullshit. She moved to get up, to run to the bathroom and hide out. Michael grabbed her arm as she stood up.

“Oh no you don’t, love.” He pulled her down into his lap once more. “You don’t get to make a statement like that and then run away. Why are you always running from me? Haven’t you learned anything about my persistence?” He kissed her temple, trying to soothe her.

“Can we talk about the things that have happened to you?” he asked her softly. He didn’t want to push her, but he needed to understand her. He would move mountains to make her feel better – if she would only talk to him. He had more money and power than he knew what to do with, but right now he felt as helpless as a newborn baby. “Baby?” he asked again.

“I was raped and molested by my uncles when I was a kid. My mother didn't care. I was almost raped in the military by some guy creeping around my tent. In Galveston I was almost raped by my high school boyfriend. I never had sex until I got married, and even then I sucked at it. I am not good, Michael. I think I was ruined or something. I want to be what I think you want, but I don’t know if I can. I don’t know..” Jana started crying into his chest, quiet tears that soaked his t-shirt.

Michael wrapped his arms around her tighter, fury emanating from him. He tried to remain calm, knowing Jana needed him right now more than he needed to beat the shit out of someone. He wanted to kill all of those fuckers, especially the guy who beat the shit out of her in Galveston. He would find out where he was and pay that asshole a visit. Michael made a mental note of that. Aaron Miller was his name, he remembered from the police report. If he had just gotten there earlier. His fucking manager had fucked that up too, he was sure of it.

“Jana, baby, listen to me. I don’t want sex from you.” He stopped, knowing he was lying. “No, I am lying. Yes. I want to make love to you – absolutely. That is not all I want from you though. You have to believe me. I will do anything to make this stop. I can’t stand to see you like this.” He whispered into her hair, not knowing if she was listening to him or not. She was still crying and he didn’t know what to fucking do.

So he just held her. Held her for what seemed like hours, as she cried and cried. He held her and stroked her back until the both fell asleep on the couch, Michael still sitting up, holding Jana in his arms. He awoke a few hours later, feeling the crick in his neck. Jana was still sitting on his lap, her head had fallen down in sleep. She must be exhausted, he thought to himself. He lifted her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom. He pulled back the sheets, and tucked her in. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he smoothed her hair off her face, leaned down and kissed her. She snuggled into the pillow, a weary sigh escaping her lips.

He would sleep in the guest room tonight. He did not want to hurt her any further with his fucking uncontrollable body. She turned him on and he didn't trust his body around her. Even now. He gave her one last look, and one last kiss, before heading across the living room into the guest room.


	37. Chapter 37

Later that night, Jana woke up in the master bedroom. She sat up quickly, looking for Michael. The other side of the bed was completely untouched. She looked at the clock, seeing it was after midnight. Either he was in the living room or he left. The latter was probably more accurate. Who could handle her kind of crazy? Really. He could walk down to the bar and pick up any woman he wanted. He certainly didn’t have to deal with her shit. She got up and walked out into the living room. Looking around, she saw that Michael was not on the couch either. Yes, he had probably left her. She laughed to herself. What a joke she was. A fucking joke. She grabbed her cell phone off the counter and walked back into the master bedroom, lying back down on the bed. She needed to text Andy.

**Jana: Are you awake?**

 

She sat there in the dark, staring at the wall, hoping that she would text back.

 

**Andy: For you babe of course. What’s up?**

**Jana: I am so fucked up**

**Andy: Shut up. Why do you talk about yourself like that?**

**Jana: I think Michael wanted to have sex with me and I ruined it. I told him everything.**

**Andy: And? How did he react?**

**Jana: He said he wanted to make love to me.**

**Andy: Make love? Not sex?**

**Jana: Yes. Make love.**

**Andy: What else?**

**Jana: He said he hated seeing me this way and would do anything to make it stop.**

**Andy: And then what?**

**Jana: I sat on his lap and cried til I fell asleep. I think he carried me to the bedroom. I just woke up.**

**Andy: Is he there with you?**

**Jana: No. I don’t know where he is. I think he left me. He’s not in the living room either.**

**Andy: Go see if his shoes are gone.**

**Jana: K**

**Andy: Go see and text me back. Hurry up!**

 

Jana got up and walked into the living room again, looking for Michael’s shoes. Holy shit. They were there, right by the door. He hadn’t left her. If he did he was shoeless. She looked on the counter. His shades and wallet were still there, as well. He must be in the guest room. She quickly walked back to the master bedroom, crawling back on the bed.

**Jana: He must be in the guest room. His stuff is still here.**

 

**Andy: Jana listen to me. Get your ass over there and get in bed with that man.**

 

Jana’s mouth dropped open. What??

 

**Jana: What? No way. You are crazy.**

**Andy: I am serious. I am about to call your ass and scream at you. After everything you two have been through. He hasn’t tried to fuck you yet has he?**

**Jana: No**

**Andy: Do you want to fuck him?**

**Jana: I think so**

**Andy: You think so? Really? I call bullshit.**

**Jana: Ok yes. Are you happy?**

**Andy: But?**

**Jana: You know why. I am scared shitless.**

**Andy: You have got to let that shit go. They were all fucktards. This guy is the real deal. I am telling you. Get your ass up and go get in bed with that man.**

**Jana: I don’t know if I can. I am serious.**

**Andy: If you don’t get up, I am going to call him and tell him to come get in bed with you.**

**Jana: Yeah right**

**Andy: I have his number remember? I called him on my cell….**

**Jana: I hate you**

**Andy: No you love me. You’ll love me even more tomorrow**

**Jana: No I am serious. I can’t do this.**

**Andy: I am serious too. You have done so much work on yourself. You have to step out of your comfort zone. It’s the only way you are going to change anything.**

 

Jana chewed nervously on her nail. Could she really do this? 

 

 **Jana:** **What do I do? Just go get in bed with him?**

 **Andy:** **Duh**

 **Jana:** **What if he's asleep?**

 **Andy:** **Wake his ass up. Men love that shit**

**Jana: OMG I don't know if I can do this**

**Andy: I am going to call him**

**Jana: OK! Fuck!**

**Andy: Yes that is exactly what you are going to do to him...**

**Jana: You are so stupid**

**Andy: Do you have any condoms?**

**Jana: No. Why?**

**Andy: Why? Uhm because that man will get you pregnant the first time for sure**

**Jana: I took the shot, remember?**

**Andy: It's current?**

**Jana: OMFG! Yes mother.**

**Andy: My work here is done. Text me in the morning. Love you**

**Jana:** **Love you too**

 

Jana sat there in silence, wondering what the fuck to do. Andy made it sound so easy. Just walk over there and crawl in bed with him. Yeah right. She got up, walked to the bathroom and flipped on the light. Yep, she still looked like shit. Nothing could be done about that. She grabbed the toothbrush, brushing her teeth really fast. At least her breath would smell good. Summoning every bit of courage she had in her, she walked out of the master and over to the guest bedroom, slowly opening the door and stepping inside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost killed myself writing this. I regret nothing.

Jana crept into the room slowly, inching her way to the bed. She could see Michael laying there, flat on his back. He had one arm thrown over his eyes, the other rested on his chest. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Surely she would wake him with her loud-ass breathing. She felt like she was going to hyperventilate. She moved closer to the bed, easing down on the side farthest from him. She pulled her legs up, and lay on her back. She was cursing Andy out in her head as she lay there. She could hear Michael breathing softly. Andy said wake him up. Men like that shit, remember?

Fuck me, Jana thought to herself. How did she wake him up?? She lay there for an eternity, listening to him breathe. She couldn't do this. She just couldn't. He would think she was psychotic. She slowly got up off the bed, trying to be as still as possible. She was almost at the door when he flicked on the bedside lamp.

"Jana?" he asked groggily.

"Yes?" she answered in an incredibly high-pitched voice.

"Babe what are you doing?"

What was she doing? Well, Mr. Fassbender, I was just coming over here to jump on you but I chickened out. Jana giggled a little insanely to herself.

"Jana?" Michael sat up, rubbing his hair as he got off the bed and walked over to her.  She still hadn't turned around. She felt his hand on her arm, turning her around. He pulled her to him, crushing her against his chest. "What's wrong baby?"

Jana giggled hysterically again. Nothing was wrong. She was just an idiot - that's all. Andy's text kept playing in her head, telling her to step out of her comfort zone. Right now, in his arms she could feel herself wanting him. She was scared shitless of course, but there was no doubt she wanted him. It was now or never. Just fucking do it, she chanted to herself. _  
_

"I...uhh...I came over here..." Jana swallowed hard. Fuck!

"You came over here for...." Michael trailed off. He was rubbing her back as they stood in the doorway of the guest room.

Do it, Jana. Just do it.

"I came to get in bed with you." She said as quickly as she could. She could feel her face burning. Michael stilled, his hand no longer rubbing her back.

"You want to come sleep with me?"

"Yes. I mean no. Fuck!" Jana whispered in his chest. "I came over here to _sleep_ with you!"

She didn't know if she could make it any clearer without actually saying it!!

"Jana. Stop. You don't have to do this. There is no rush, sweetie." Michael started rubbing her back again, sleepily resting his chin on her head.

Here goes nothing.

Jana reached up, grabbed his face and pulled it down to hers. She kissed him with everything she had in her. For a moment Michael did not kiss her back and she began to worry. She had really screwed up this time. A total misjudgement. He pulled back, looking at her with wide eyes, fully awake now.

"Are you saying..." Michael trailed off. He did not want to say something  he'd regret.

Jana looked up at him,  her eyes big and brown, luminous in the dim light. "Yes, Michael."

"Jana...I -" He was interrupted by her.

"Please," she whispered up at him. "Please, Michael."

Fuck. He was going straight to hell.

He leaned down and kissed her, feeling Jana wind her arms around his neck and her hands tangling in his hair. Straight to hell where the devil was waiting for him, he thought again, as he pushed her up against the wall, his mouth hot on hers. He reached down, his hands moving from her lower back to cup her ass, lifting her up and pulling her to him. He slid his hands down her legs, gripped behind her knees, and wrapped her legs around his waist. 

Jana clung to Michael with all the strength she had. She could feel his strong hands holding her,  gripping her thighs as she held him tightly between her legs, molding her body to his. She had felt his arousal as he pulled her up around his waist. It scared her. She hadn’t done this in so long, and she was never good at it. Michael could sense her pulling away, sense her becoming distant.

“What is it love? Do I need to slow down?” Michael was breathing hard, looking deeply into her eyes.

“Yes please. I haven’t done….this….in forever and I don’t want to mess it up. Can we just go slower?” She bit at her lower lip, drawing Michael’s eyes down. She could see the desire in his eyes, eyes that were a stormy blue now, full of need and passion.

“Absolutely love. We’ll go as slow or as fast as you want.” He dazzled her with his signature shark smile.

She trusted him, Michael thought to himself. She was trusting him with her body. He knew how hard this was for her. He would make it good for her. He would do everything in his power to make it good. Michael grabbed her legs, making sure they were secure around his waist before carrying her back to the bed and laying her down gently. He grabbed one leg, pulling off one sock, before grabbing the other and pulling it off as well. He ran his hands along her slim calves, eliciting a small groan from Jana. He had barely touched her and she felt like she was melting from the inside out. Fuck.

“You are so fucking sexy Jana. From the tips of your toes,” he kissed her on top of her foot, “to the top of your head.” He crawled up her body, dropping kisses here and there, before finally settling next to her, hovering half-way over her. He looked down at her, and rubbed the tip of his nose against hers.

“We’ll do what you want, ok, love? As little or as much.” He nipped at her lower lip with his, causing her to shiver.

“You like that?” Jana nodded, unable to speak. Michael moved lower, placing soft kisses at the base of her neck. He kissed the area where he felt her pulse wildly beating in her veins. He kissed her again on her neck, then blew on the area lightly, causing another shiver. He moved back up, kissing along her jaw line, moving towards her ear. She couldn’t think straight. Should she be doing something right now? Jana’s brow furrowed. Michael noticed.

“Jana – baby – what is it? Talk to me.”

“I don’t know how to say this so I’ll just come outright. Should I be doing something? I have never….wanted to …I guess….wanted to make love to someone, and I don’t want to screw it up.” Jana lowered her eyes, staring at Michael’s neck. Michael put a finger under her chin, tilting her head back up so that she would look at him.

“How about you just do what you want to do? I can do all the work –which I don’t mind believe me – or you can do what you want. You can trust me. I am not going to hurt you.” Michael told her softly, his thumb rubbing at her chin. She was so frightened, like a fawn, her big brown eyes showing just how unsure of herself she was.

“Let me make love to you Jana. Let me do everything. I want to show you what you do to me.” Michael’s blue eyes searched her brown ones, pleading with her to believe him, to give him the chance to prove his feelings for her. Jana nodded her consent, nervously nibbling at her lower lip.

“I told you before I wanted to be the only one to bite that lip…” Michael said, moving in and sucking her lower lip in between his. He could feel Jana squirming beneath him, wanting him but afraid to at the same time. He moved lower, trailing his lips once more down the slender column of her neck, causing her to breathe faster. He continued on, his lips at the top of her tank top, kissing at the bare skin there. He could see how flushed her skin was, and yet he continued on. He moved lower, kissing in between her sternum, slowly pulling her tank top up as he kissed the bare skin on her stomach.

“You have entirely too much clothing on my dear. Let’s take this off, shall we?” Jana just nodded once again. Michael lifted her up slightly, pulling the tank as he went, up and over her head. Jana lay back, watching him like a hawk. Michael stared at her body, seeing her full breasts covered by the thin sports bra she was wearing. He could see her nipples straining at the fabric. As if they called his name, he moved his mouth over her breast, circling her nipple before finally taking it in his mouth. Jana tried to come up off the bed, her back arching. She grabbed at his hair, wanting to pull him away and pull him closer – all at the same time. She had never felt this before. She could feel the deep ache in her lower abdomen, and even lower she felt herself getting wetter by the minute. He was going to be the death of her, and he had barely touched her. Michael continued tormenting her, first one breast and then the other. Her bra was wet where his mouth met her nipple, and when he moved away the cold air hardened her even further.

She pulled at Michael’s shirt. She needed to feel his skin, needed to feel it against hers. Michael sat up, taking the offending shirt off and throwing it on the floor. He laid back down, his chest against Jana’s, their flesh finally meeting. He reached behind her, attempting to remove her bra. Just as she did, he needed to feel her skin against his. He fumbled for a few moments, finally getting the clasp to release, and lifted her up, pulling the bra off her shoulders. It joined his shirt on the floor. He could see the insecurity in her eyes as she lay before him, bare from the waist up. She was so damn beautiful, and she had no idea. Michael slowly brought his chest down on top of hers, his lips meeting hers in the process. He heard Jana sigh in contentment, flesh against flesh meeting her need. She could feel the hardness of his chest pressed against her breasts, his sparse chest hair rubbing at her skin. God she loved the feel of him on top of her. She ran her hands along his back, and up to his hair, and then along his back again. She could feel the muscles rippling as he moved over her. He was smooth and hard, wild and sexy – all at the same time. Michael moved her legs apart with his, finally settling all his weight there. She could feel him, hard as a rock, pressed into her where she wanted him most. Jana subconsciously moved against him, rubbing herself against him.

Michael hissed through his teeth, “You are going to fucking kill me and I still have my pants on. Fuck Jana!”

Jana looked up at him, unsure of what to do, but her body had a mind of its own and was still moving against him. She closed her eyes, biting at her lower lip as she ground her hips against his, seeking release. Michael watched her from above, one hand reaching down to pull at her nipple with his thumb and forefinger, cupping her breast as she moved. Jana moved faster, grinding her hips harder. She could feel herself coming undone, could feel the tension in her lower body.

“Come on baby, just let go.” Michael whispered against her lips, still pulling at her breast, urging her on. She was so close, her legs were shaking and her back was arching. She was arching up, pushing her breast into his hand when she felt it begin to wash over her. Her body exploded, her orgasm ripping through her as she ground against Michael’s hard cock. She bit down hard on her lip to keep from crying out. She couldn’t hear, it was like things were muted. She slowly came to, still rubbing herself against Michael as her eyelids fluttered open. She saw Michael staring at her, his eyes dark with desire, a small smile on his face.

She immediately felt shame. Shame that she was so needy she could orgasm just from rubbing herself against him. Jana tried to turn her head away, to look anywhere but at him. Michael was having none of it.

“No, you don’t do that. Don’t turn away.” He kissed all over her face, her nose, her eyelids, her lips again.

“Shit, Jana. I almost came in my pants just from you rubbing against me. Do you realize how fucking sexy you are?” He kissed her again, softly on the lips this time. “Don’t ever be ashamed with me. Never with me.” He nipped at her lower lip again. Watching her come undone beneath him had almost been his undoing. Her innocence was going to be the death of him, he just knew it.

“What about you?” Jana whispered quietly, unsure of how to ask the unspoken need. She knew he was still hard, she could feel him.

“All in good time, baby, all in good time.” Michael whispered against her swollen lips. She was fucking sexy as hell when she looked like this, hair a mess, lips swollen. Was it possible that he got harder? Fuck if he knew, but it sure as hell felt like it.

Michael rolled them over, putting Jana on top. Their lips were still moving against each other, and he could feel her breasts resting on his chest. He reached down, grabbing at her ass, pulling her tighter to him. Jana moaned into his mouth, causing him to pull her even tighter to him. She had such a perfect ass, nice and full, and it fit right in his hands. He slipped his hands below the waistband of her sweats, feeling the smooth, bare skin there. He cupped her ass, moving her so she was once again grinding against him.

“Micheal..” she whispered against his lips.

“Yes..”

“Michael, I want you inside me. Please. I need you inside me.”

Those were all the words he needed. If he didn’t hurry he was going to explode all over the bed. He flipped them back over, sat up and began pulling Jana’s sweatpants off, along with her panties. He kept his eyes on hers, watching her for any sign of hesitance. He would make this good for her. Perfect if he could. He pulled down his shorts, taking his boxers with them. Jana looked down momentarily, watching as his cock sprung out. He was enormous. How the hell was that going to fit down there? Jana began to look nervous once again, her fears starting to overwhelm her. Michael saw the fear on her face, saw the inner battle she was waging with herself.

“Don’t baby. Trust me. Don’t do that..” Michael shook his head at her, giving her encouragement. She trusted him - he knew it and she knew it. He did not need to fuck this up with his inability to control himself. He settled himself back between her legs, resting his weight on his forearms as he kissed her softly. He nuzzled her nose with his, trying to give her time. He wanted to plunge himself inside her, bury himself to the hilt, but he knew he had to be patient with her. He could feel her wetness on his lower belly and it was driving him insane. He reached down, circled one of her nipples, pulling it into hardness again. Jana moaned against his mouth, her hips moving against him again. He reached down between them, grabbing his cock and guiding it to her entrance. Her eyes flew open, staring into his.

“Love, trust me. I know what I am doing. Trust me, right?” He tried to assure her again.

Jana nodded, once again biting at her lower lip. He pushed in slowly. Fuck she was tight. Michael gritted his teeth as he felt the sweat bead on his brow. She was killing him slowly. He tried to think about things outside of her body, things that would cause him to slow down. He pushed in farther, looking down at Jana, watching her face. Her eyes were clenched tightly shut, and she was still biting on that lip. Michael felt Jana rake her nails down his back, felt her grabbing at his ass, pulling him further into her. He pushed all the way in, felt himself sink into her delicious wetness. Jana was once again grinding her hips into him. Fuck but he was throbbing now. If she didn’t stop moving he was going to come right now.

“Jana. Love..” he ground out. “Stop moving please.” She opened her eyes, looking at him in confusion. He kissed her on the tip of her nose.

“No baby, it’s not bad. You just feel so good and I want to last for you. If you keep moving, I am going to come.” Jana looked closely at him, wondering if he was telling the truth. She involuntarily clenched her inner muscles, causing him to hiss again.

“Fuck Jana!” He had his eyes tightly closed, his forehead against hers, concentrating as hard as he could.

Jana smiled to herself, finally realizing what Michael had said all along. She could see the effect she had on him. Fuck, she could feel what she was doing to him. She slowly began moving her hips, her fingers running up and down his back, grabbing at his ass. Michael opened his eyes, looked at her and realized what she was doing.

“I am not going to last, just so you know.” Michael said to her, his body moving against hers, moving as she pulled him in and out.

“That’s okay Michael. I want to feel you come inside me.” She shyly whispered to him, still running her hands up and down his back. She moved one hand around, touching his hardened nipple with her fingertip. He growled, pushing harder at her, needing to get closer. Michael set up a fast pace, taking Jana along with him. He would thrust in and pull out, and immediately she would pull him back in. He could feel her wetness all over him. She was so hot and tight, she was like a vice grip on his dick. It was almost painful how tight she was around him. He moved slower and harder, prolonging the time between sliding out and thrusting back in. He watched her face, saw her brows come together as she was concentrating. She was close, he could feel it. Her legs were once again trembling, and she was frantically grasping at him, pulling at his back, his ass, his hair. He leaned down, taking her earlobe in his mouth, and sucking.

“Come with me, love. Let me feel you come around me…” he whispered in her ear. That was all she needed. Jana felt herself come undone again, except this time he had filled her up. Filled her so full. He was hitting her in all the right spots. She could feel the world fall away, her orgasm tearing through her body once more. “Michael! Oh my God Michael!” Hearing his name on her lips, he buried his face into her neck, and slammed into her, feeling her clench around him, leading to his release. He came hard, and he came fast, spilling his very soul into her. He thrust a few more times, unable to stop moving, before he came to a halt.

Not believing that he was still alive, Michael leaned up, propping his weight on his forearms, and looked down at Jana. She was looking back at him in wonder, a faint blush spreading all over her chest. She clenched her walls, causing him to wince. It was too much right now, too much sensitivity. He was still hard as a rock inside her.

“Don’t do that babe. Unless you want to kill me.” He rubbed his thumbs across her jawline, leaning down to kiss her briefly. “I am too sensitive right now. It’s too much.”

“Is that a bad thing or a good thing?” Jana asked him. She was so innocent. Even at her age, she knew nothing about men and making love. He would gladly take on that task, he thought to himself.

“No, sweetie,that is a very good thing.” He said, pressing his lips once more to hers. He pulled back and looked at her, “Any regrets?” He asked her quietly. He believed he knew the answer, but he wanted to be sure. 

Jana smiled at him and clenched her inner muscles again just thinking about it all, causing Michael to close his eyes and hiss out another curse. He slowly opened his eyes again, staring at her.

“You are doing that on purpose aren’t you, you little brat?”

“No, I was just thinking about everything. I can’t help it. I have never felt like that Michael. I didn’t know it was possible…” Jana trailed off, wondering if she sounded as inept as she felt.

Michael kissed her soundly once more before replying, “Oh, we have only just begun sweetie. You have no idea what I have in store for your sweet little ass.”


	39. Chapter 39

Jana woke later that morning, looking around in a daze before realizing where she was. Coming to, she was a little dismayed to find Michael was no longer in the bed with her. Feeling confident he had not left her though, Jana laid back down for a moment and thought about all that had occurred last night and this morning. She and Michael had made love countless times. She would fall asleep and then awaken to him kissing and touching her and it would begin again. She could feel the tightness in her body. She ran her fingers over her lips, feeling them swollen and raw. As smooth as he had tried to keep his face for her, she could feel the areas where his overnight stubble had chaffed her. Jana smiled to herself, stretching her body and luxuriating in the feeling of soreness. For the first time in what felt like forever she felt alive. She didn’t feel used and she didn’t feel dirty. She felt alive. Michael did not force things on her, or critique her, or chastise her – he had encouraged her, praised her, made her feel like she was part of the process rather than a means to an end. She was still wearing Michael’s black t-shirt and could smell him on her skin even now. She pulled the collar up to her nose, inhaling deeply. She smiled again to herself, gingerly getting up and walking to the bathroom.

After using the restroom, she walked over and looked at herself in the mirror. Once again she smiled. Michael had told her he was going to fuck her brains out and he had. Thoroughly. Her hair was a mess, her face was chaffed and her lips were swollen. She was aching all over. She could only imagine how the rest of her body must look. She would shower later – she needed to find Michael. She quickly brushed out her hair as best as possible, pulling it back in to a low ponytail. She then brushed her teeth and splashed water on her face, trying to regain some semblance of decency. She took one last look at herself before heading out into the living area to find Michael. She shrugged her shoulders at herself - there was no fixing the way she looked this morning. He had done this to her after all, she thought with that same stupid smile on her face.

She found him in the kitchen, sitting at the counter eating leftover Chinese food. Good lord but that man could eat. As lean as he was, she had no idea where he put it either! He was shirtless, wearing only his shorts, and was facing away from her, watching the small television mounted under the kitchen cabinet. He didn’t hear her come out and Jana took a few moments just to take in the sight of him sitting there. Although he wasn’t completely white, he had lost the tan that she last remembered him having from Galveston. He was lean, his broad shoulders only furthering to accent his slim waist. She could see the muscles in his arms flex and move as he ate. The man was just gorgeous. There was no way around it. She shyly walked up to him and placed her arms around him, snuggling into his back.

“Morning, love. About time you woke up..” she heard Michael say to her.

“You almost killed me. I am surprised I woke at all,” Jana said, still snuggled into his back. For whatever reason, she was feeling shy now, her confidence waning. She felt Michael pull her hands from where they were clutching his chest, felt him swivel around on the stool and pull her into his arms. She buried her head under his chin, trying to avoid looking in his eyes.

“If I remember correctly it was you killing me, love.” Michael tried to pull her back from his chest, and she only snuggled in tighter. “Are you trying to avoid me for some reason? You know I have kissed every inch of your body, love. No hiding from me…” He pulled a little harder and she came out from under him, looking at the ground. Michael tilted her chin up with his finger, forcing her to look at him. “Why?”

It was a simple question and should have a simple answer.

Jana had no idea why she was so embarrassed now. She just shrugged her shoulders, trying to look anywhere but at him. Michael turned her face back to his, pulling her in for a kiss that rocked her to her very core. She felt him once again ravage her lips, pulling, nipping, sucking, before he sought entry with his tongue. Jana could feel herself melting once again. Had it not been for his hands cupping her cheeks, she was sure she would have fallen. God this man could kiss, and kiss well. He released her, and Jana stared back at him in a daze.

“Is that what I have to do to get you to stop over-analyzing things?” he asked her with a smirk. Damn cocky bastard. He knew what effect he had on her. “Because I don’t mind, love. I really don’t.”

Jana nibbled on her lower lip, drawing his eyes back down to her mouth. She could feel her face flushing with shame.

“I have never enjoyed sex before Michael. I don’t know how to react after. I am embarrassed that I enjoyed it so much maybe? I am happy, but I am embarrassed at the same time.” She looked up at him quickly, before looking down at the ground again, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t even know if that makes sense, but it’s how I feel.”

Michael pulled her chin up once more, forcing her to look at him. He had the most beautiful intensely blue eyes and they were staring into her soul at the moment. “Given the little bit you have told me, I can understand how you would feel that way love.”

Jana could feel the tears begin to well up again. Fuck she hated crying in front of him, and yet she was always doing it. Fuck, fuck, fuck. She bit at her lower lip again, trying to will herself not to cry. Why couldn’t she just be happy with Michael? With herself? Why?? Normal people didn’t act the way she did after a night like last night. They just didn’t.

“You have never experienced making love, baby. All that stuff before was shit. Complete shit. I am telling you that you are the sexiest woman I know. If I have to make love to you a thousand times to get you to believe that, then I will.” Michael slid off the stool and leaned down, guiding her arms around his neck. He then grabbed Jana behind the knees, pulling her up and wrapping her legs around his waist. He never broke eye contact with her, his blue eyes staring into her brown ones. “Back to bed we go, Schatzi. I’ll show you again just how much I want you and just what you do to me.”

 

 

 


	40. Chapter 40

Jana was tucked into Michael, her back against his chest, his arms wrapped around her. Neither had bothered getting dressed. What would be the point? They had only come out of the bedroom on occasion to get food. Afterwards they would head right back to the bed. This was something new for Jana, and not something she ever thought she would experience – especially at her age and given her past. Lying in bed all day with a man – and naked at that – was something she had never been able to fully appreciate until now. She lightly rubbed her hand along Micheal’s arm and sighed, a happy smile on her face.

“What are you thinking about?” Michael mumbled into her hair.

“You. Me. Everything.”

“Good or bad?” He snuggled in deeper, placing a kiss on the back of her head.

“Both.” She could feel his hard chest against her back, the light smattering of chest hair rubbing against her.

“Hmmm…” Michael withdrew his arm from under her, and pulled her shoulder so that she would turn over. “Look at me, sweetie.” Jana rolled over, facing him but refusing to look in his eyes. She tried to snuggle in closer to his chest, but Michael wouldn’t let her. “Tell me.” He laid his head back down on his pillow, one arm under his head, and looked at her closely.

Jana, realizing he wasn’t going to let her off so easy, lay back down on her own pillow. She focused her eyes on his chest, noticing how red the sparse hair was there. She slowly reached out, and ran her fingers through it, relishing in the fact that it didn’t bother her. Not now at least. So many things had changed for her, so many big things – sex and making love - and so many little things, like the color of Michael’s chest hair and beard not bothering her. Her eyes traveled up, noticing his scruff had come in even more. She lightly ran her finger across his jaw, marveling in the knowledge that she was not bothered by it. Not on him. Michael placed his hand on hers, stilling her fingers.

“I am sorry. Does it bother you? I can go shave.”

Jana looked at him, her eyes meeting his. “No, it doesn’t. Not anymore.”

Michael pulled her to him with her hand, kissing her softly on the lips. Lying back down on his pillow, he smiled softly at her before asking, “That’s good right?” Jana smiled back and nodded in agreement. “Then what’s wrong?” Her brow furrowed again, reality setting back in. She nibbled at her lower lip, wondering how to ask the questions that were driving her insane. “Just tell me. Whatever it is, tell me.” He pressed the crease between her eyes, smoothing out her brow with the tip of his finger.

“What’s next? I mean, this is all great – I mean really great – but tomorrow is reality. I go to work, you go to work or wherever, and then what? How can this ever work out?” She rushed out, not looking in his eyes. “I mean that is if you want it to work out, because if you don’t then I totally understand. I mean I am crazy - as you can tell – so I don’t know who in their right mind would want to work it out with someone like me and of course-”

Michael interrupted her, kissing her on the mouth again to shut her up. He kissed her until she was thoroughly dazed, her head swimming, coherency lost.

“Good grief, woman! You are something else, aren’t you?” Michael pulled back, smiling at her. “After everything we have gone through, do you not realize how much I care about you? The lengths I would go to just to see you, to make sure you are safe and happy?”

Jana laid there on her pillow, still not meeting his eyes, listening to him. Hoping. Michael tilted her face up once more with his finger, forcing her to look at him.

“Look I am not setting a wedding date,” Michael grinned, winking at her, “but I would be lying if I said I didn’t care for you. This is all new for me as well. I’ve always said I never had time for a relationship due to work, but with you I have made time. I now know that it wasn’t a lack of time - it was because I didn’t care enough. There’s something here, between us.” He stroked her jaw, willing her to trust him, to believe him. “I don’t want to throw it away. Do you?”

Jana shook her head, unable to speak. She was once again fighting the tears, trying to keep them at bay.

Michael continued. “I know it will be hard. Your schedule, mine, it’ll be tough but we’ll figure it out, ok?” He continued stroking her jaw, moving his hand and running his thumb over her lower lip. That lower lip that drove him absolutely fucking mad. He had to make himself focus. Focus, Michael!

Dragging his eyes away from that lip, he looked back up at her, staring into her teary brown eyes. “Please stop doubting me. I have been an ass and done lots of stupid things in my life, but with you I want to do the right thing. We’ll figure all this out together, right?” He leaned forward again, unable to resist that lip, and kissed Jana once again. He tried to pour all of his emotions, all of his need for her, all of his want – all of it into that kiss. She needed to believe him. Jana kissed him back, running her hands through his hair, desperately holding him close to her. She never wanted to let him go.

* * *

 

Some time later, Michael was holding Jana in his arms once again, his mind running away with doubt and worry. She was snuggled into his chest, her arm and leg thrown over him. He could feel her even breathing against his sternum. He couldn’t sleep. He was worried. He didn’t know if she would be able to handle the stress that came with being with someone such as himself. All the celebrity bullshit, the cameras, the tabloids. He still didn’t know if the picture shit was over. Fuck. It was all such fucking shit. He could kill his fucking manager. He wished he could whisk her away to some private island with just the two of them, with nothing for her to worry about. All the shit she had been through, and he still didn’t know the half of it.

Despite all this, there were two things of which he was certain - first, he would do anything to protect her and help her get over this shit. The second was a harder pill to swallow, and quite frankly scared the piss out of him. He was way over his head with this girl. He had never felt this way about anyone. Ever.The lengths that he would go to just to be with her, the things he would do to make her smile, the worry he felt when she was out of his sight. He had never made love with a woman before to be honest. Fucked someone? Yes, plenty of times.  Done what he had done with Jana - made love - absolutely not. That realization caused his heart to skip a beat. It fucking scared him shitless the emotion he felt for Jana, whatever it was. He would not - could not - give it a name right now. He simply couldn't.

Michael sighed, leaned over and  kissed her on the forehead once more, before untangling himself. He climbed out of the bed quietly so as not to disturb her. He pulled on his shorts, and headed out into the living area and towards the balcony. He needed a fucking cigarette and this time he was going to have one.


	41. Chapter 41

Monday morning came all too quickly for both Jana and Michael. It was 4am and she was up getting ready for work, trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake Michael. She needed to go in to PT formation, show her face, and then she could come back home. Back home to Michael. She stared at herself in the mirror. Back home to Michael? Really? How quickly she got wrapped up into this thing with him, whatever it was. She was completely infatuated with him.

“Obsessed is more like it,” she mumbled to herself, trying to wrap her unruly hair into a bun. Finishing up in the bathroom, she walked into the kitchen area, grabbing for a glass of water and her pill. This was the only one she had needed for some time now, the one for depression. It was working. Either it was working or it was all Michael. She smiled to herself, knowing full well what the source of her lightened mood was: he was sleeping in the next room.

She headed back to the bedroom, intent on giving him a quick kiss before she headed out the door. Entering the room, she moved quietly over to the bed, and leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. He was laying on his stomach, his arms wrapped around the pillow that cradled his head. Jana took a few moments to look at him, taking in this beautiful man before her. He hadn’t shaved yet, and he was looking very stubbly. And sexy. Definitely sexy. She just wanted to crawl back in bed with him and never get up. With a resigned sigh, she stood up, giving him one last look before heading out of the room and leaving.

* * *

 

Jana returned home right before 8am. She was hot and sweaty. They had taken them on a 4 mile run this morning – lucky her - as a way to introduce the new captain to the unit. Although it was shitty at the time, she felt pretty good right now. She was getting healthy, getting back in shape, and things just looked better. She swiped the room key and stepped into the hotel, her thoughts immediately turning to Michael. He wasn’t in the living room or kitchen area. Squashing the bubbles of panic that tried to rise up, she dropped her keys on the counter and removed her shoes. He had to be in the bedroom. She walked in the bedroom, looking at the bed. He was still asleep. Relief washed over her. He was still there. He hadn’t left her.

She walked over to her suitcase, grabbing her bra and panties, as well as her uniform before heading to the shower. She turned on the shower, letting it steam up the bathroom, as she stripped off her clothes and stepped in. Fuck it felt good to wash away all the sweat. She grabbed the shampoo, squirting some in her hair and closed her eyes as she scrubbed. She was rinsing her hair under the water as she felt Michael come into the shower behind her, his hands wrapping around her and cupping her breasts. Her breath hitched as he pulled her to him and she felt him pressing into her back.

"Want some company?” He asked her huskily.

“Maybe…” Jana teased. He tweaked her nipple, causing her to moan and grab at his arms.

‘Maybe? Such a brat...” He bit at her ear lobe, his hands still moving over her body. The water and the soap combined, making them slide over her skin. Michael moved his hands lower, his teeth still scraping along her ear and neck. Jana arched into him, wanting and needing more. He moved his hands lower, traveling over her stomach, down to the apex between her legs. Fuck he was killing her. He had barely touched her and she was ready to explode. His hand skimmed over her, parting her as he felt the wetness there that had nothing to do with the water. He slipped one finger inside her.

“That doesn’t feel like a maybe to me.” He murmured, one hand holding her hip, holding her in place, as his long finger did its magic. In and out he stroked, and she could feel it building deep in her groin. He would pull his finger out, rub around her clit, and then slide it back in. Over and over again til she couldn’t breathe. He moved his other hand back up to her breast, cupping her, rolling her nipple between his fingers.

“Michael…please…” Jana panted. She was grasping at his forearm, one hand braced against the shower wall. She pushed at his hand, but he was moving so slow. That damn finger, in and out. She needed more. It was just out of reach. Her hips moved of their own accord, seeking release from the torment.

“Michael..” she breathed again, begging for him to let her come.

As if knowing what she needed, he shoved another finger inside her and she exploded, crying out his name over and over, clawing at his forearm. She held his hand to her, still rubbing against it as she came down. He was simply too much for her. She was panting as she leaned her head against the shower wall, still clutching his hand. His fingers were still buried inside her.

“Can I have my hand back, love?” Micheal teased her, his lips tracing her spine, up and down her back.

“No. I think I’ll keep it right here, thank you.”

“As much as I love to have my fingers in you, I’d much rather put something else there.” He continued kissing down her back, his loose hand still rubbing and kneading her breast. Damn but if he wasn’t doing it again. She could feel his hard erection pressing into her back. She could feel herself ready, wanting him there again, the dull ache coming back. How was that possible?

“Let it go, love. I’ll give you something even better,” he whispered at her ear, causing her to shiver.

Jana released the death grip she had on his hand, and turned around. Michael was on her in an instant, his mouth hot on hers, tongue and teeth meeting in a desperate battle. She couldn’t get enough of him, and he of her. Michael reached down, grabbing her behind the knees, pulling her up around his waist. He pushed her up against the wall and buried himself in her. Jana cried out, the feeling of him inside her filling her up. Her body began to move, grinding her hips against him, looking for another release.

“Fuck!” he hissed out, gritting his teeth and burying his face in her neck. He could not get close enough to her, it was never enough. She was so damn tight and hot around him. She was driving him fucking mad.

“Michael…Harder please…please!” Jana moaned, clutching at his hair, trying to grasp for anything to get her closer to him. She could feel the water cascading down on them, only adding to her heightened senses. She turned her head, nipping at Michael’s ear, raking her nails up and down his back. Michael was getting erratic, losing himself in her, blindly pumping away. He felt her take his ear lobe between her teeth and bite gently, and it sent him over the edge, his orgasm ripping through his body, spilling into Jana and causing her to come with him. He closed his eyes, feeling like he was going to pass out. He could feel her clenching at him, pulling him in even deeper. Her nails were almost painful on his back. She was going to give him a heart attack, he just knew it. Even when the spasms had passed, Michael continued slowly moving in her, wanting every last little bit of her he could get. Damn but she felt so good.

When his head finally cleared, he again became aware of the water running over them, starting to get cooler now. He shifted his weight a bit –still holding Jana up against the wall – and leaned back, looking at her. She was smiling at him, her face flush with the afterglow of their lovemaking. He leaned forward and planted a small kiss on her lips, nibbling at her lower lip.

“You are going to be the death of me. You know that right?” he murmured against her lips. “I cannot get enough of you.”

Jana nuzzled his nose with hers as Michael pulled out of her, letting her slide down his body. They stood there for a moment relishing the feel of their wet bodies pressed together.

“We should probably finish washing up…” Jana whispered, feeling the water losing its heat.

Michael nodded, reaching over her and grabbing the body wash. “So I am going to smell really girly today, I guess?” he cocked an eyebrow, looking at the Bath and Body Works shower gel.

“Well, you sent me 10000 bottles,” she teased him, “and I have to use it somehow.”

“Is that so? Well in that case, turn around sweetie. Let me wash your back.” Michael said with a wink. “I’ll do you and you do me.”

Jana’s own eyebrows rose this time, looking at him skeptically. “We’re never going to get out of the shower at this rate…”


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because all good things must come to an end...

The week flew by for Jana and Michael. She would go into work while he would hang out at the hotel all day and wait for her. They had spent the majority of their time making love – in the bed, in the shower, in the living room –wherever. They could not get enough of each other. It was all Jana could do to stay at work all day and not leave early just to be with him. She had learned so much about Michael that week - his family, his likes, his dislikes - and he her. She had never been so happy, and had a permanent smile on her face - courtesy of one Michael Fassbender.

Sadly he was leaving on Thursday, flying back into Los Angeles to begin some new project. Jana was dreading that day more than anything, the uncertainty of their future weighing heavily on her mind. Michael had assured her time and time again that they would make it work, that it would be no big deal, but Jana couldn’t help but think back to all the times it had been a big deal. It seemed the only time things worked for them was when they were together. No, she definitely did not want to be separated from him any more than necessary.

She had just thrown her backpack in the backseat of the rental and had shut the door when her phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket, smiling and thinking it was Michael.

It was Andy.

 

**Jana: Hey what’s up?**

**Andy: Have you seen the news?**

**Jana: No, why?**

**Andy: Uhmm…well.. there are some pictures and…**

 

Jana felt the dread pool in her stomach as her heart started beating faster. Oh my God. Please no, please no, please no. This wasn’t happening. Please no…

 

**Jana: What pictures?”**

**Andy: Of us in Dallas, at the party. You and the major. They’re bad Jana.**

**Jana: How bad?**

**Andy: Really bad. They’re also blaming Michael for your lip and black eye, and saying that you are cheating on him.**

**Jana: Oh God. Michael.**

 

Jana felt like she was going to be physically ill, bringing her hand to her face to cover her mouth. She felt weak at the knees. Oh God.

 

**Andy: Have you talked to him?**

**Jana: No. I am just now leaving work. He’s at the hotel. Oh my God, Andy. What do I do? I don’t even remember that night. Oh my God!**

 

Jana was panicking. She couldn’t breathe. Her heart was pounding in her chest, in her ears. What would Michael do? What had he seen? She looked at her phone again, checking to see if he had texted or call. No, he hadn’t and she didn’t know if this was a good or bad thing.

 

**Jana: I can’t breathe, Andy. I can’t breathe. I …**

**Andy: Jana just stop. Explain it to him. He knows you. He’ll believe you.**

**Jana: What if he doesn’t? Oh my God, I can’t breathe. I don’t know what to do.**

**Andy: Stop!! Just stop alright? Go back to the hotel and talk to him. Explain it. You guys will figure it out together. Ok?**

 

Jana just nodded, her head spinning. What the fuck? She was too scared to look up the photos on her phone. Maybe Michael didn’t know about any of it? It could be possible, right?

 

**Andy: Jana!! Are you listening?**

**Jana: Yes. Sorry. Ok I am going to go back to the hotel. I’ll text you ok?**

**Andy: Ok babe. Don’t worry. It’ll work out.**

Jana just nodded, pushing the button to end the call. She needed to hurry up and get back to Michael. Fuck she was so nervous, her hands shaking as she placed the keys in the ignition and started up the car. Fuck.

* * *

 

Jana walked in the hotel room, seeing Michael sitting on the couch, staring at the coffee table. He didn't look up at her, just kept staring at the table in front of him. She knew that he knew. She immediately felt the tension in the room, as big as it was.

“Michael?” she whispered, unsure of what to say or do. She dropped her keys on the counter before heading over to the couches and standing by them. She could see photos on the coffee table, but she didn’t focus on them, refusing to see them for what they were. Oh fuck.

“So you know huh?” He asked her, his voice dripping with acid. He still hadn’t looked at her. “Let me guess? Your friend called? Or did you see the magazine at the store? Or someone recognized you?” He finally looked up at her,  his eyes blazing, fury evident on his face.

Oh God he was so mad. Jana immediately felt herself withering, feeling small in his presence. Michael leaned over, grabbed a pile of magazines and photos in his hand. He shook them at her before throwing them on the coffee table, scattering them. He was emanating fury, his mouth set in a hard line. His eyes were dark and stormy, but not with passion for her. No, he was looking at her in disgust and contempt. She could feel it.

“What the fuck is this?” He glared at Jana, the muscle in his jaw ticking.

Jana leaned down, taking one of the pictures in her hand. It was her. In that fucking black dress. She reached down, grabbing another. It was again her, this time the major was kissing her neck. She looked like she was enjoying it thoroughly. The next photo showed her grinding on the major, her hair in disarray. The dress strap was falling off her shoulder, dangerously close to revealing a bare breast. She was drunker than shit. Seeing it in color in the photos was embarrassing. The fact that she couldn’t remember made it even worse.

“Michael..I-” she stuttered out, unsure of what to say.

“You what, Jana? What the fuck? This is you, isn’t it?” he ground out.

Oh God he was so pissed off. Jana could feel herself cowering back from him, his fury terrifying her. “Yes.”

“Yes what?!” He stood up and he screamed at her, his face close to hers. His fist were balled at his side.

Did he want to hit her? Oh God she was panicking now, afraid that he would lose it on her. “Yes it’s me. I am so sorry..” she whispered, tears threatening to fall. He was terrifying her.

“Oh save me the shit Jana. The tears - save all that shit for someone else. All this bullshit, all the being upset by my beard, all the _“Oh Michael I hate sex shit”_ was all bullshit. All the while you were out dancing on tabletops and fucking this guy?” He sat down on the couch, running his hands through his hair furiously before slamming his fist down on the coffee table.

“And you have the fucking nerve to get mad at me for supposedly dating someone, when you were out doing this shit?” he gestured to the photos. “You’ve made a fool out of me. You know that right? All this shit is all over the tabloids. All over the fucking news.” He picked up a few magazines off the ground where they had fallen and shoved them at her chest, forcing her to take them. He started pacing, walking away from her. “Read it. Go on, look at it yourself.”

Jana looked at the first magazine in horror.

_Michael Fassbender’s Cheating Scandal!_

 

And the second one...

 **** _Fassy’s Heartbreak as Girlfriend Cheats in Texas!_

 

There was a picture of Jana with the major’s face shoved in between her breasts, her smiling over his shoulder. Underneath that the caption read:

_Fassy’s girlfriend and her sexy weekend tryst!_

 

Jana’s lower lip trembled, the tears finally spilling over and running down her cheeks. Michael shook his head at her,  his anger overriding any sympathy he might have had for her at the moment.

"Oh don’t fucking cry just yet. I saved the best for last.” He walked back over to her and shoved one more magazine her way. This headline made her want to vomit.

_Fassbender’s history of domestic violence – girlfriend shows up with busted lip and black eye!  Is he at it again?_

 

There was a picture of Jana and Michael in Galveston, her injuries on full display.

“Michael it’s a lie..I don’t know why they-“

“Oh, I fucking know it’s a lie. I didn’t do that shit to you. It’s just one more thing to add to the fucking pile.” He glared at her, his eyes staring into hers. “Why would you do that? Even though we weren’t _“together together”_ we were talking. Yet you have a moment’s doubt and you go whore around. Knowing this was possible. There’s always someone with a camera!” He moved closer, coming to stand right in front of her, and leaned down and sneered at her.

“The problem – love – is that now your whoring affects me as well.”

Jana slapped him, hard across the cheek, hard enough to turn his face from her. “You fucking asshole. How dare you?” She hissed out.

Michael slowly turned his face back around to her, the muscle in his jaw ticking even harder now. Jana was too pissed to be scared now.

“No, how dare you.” He gritted out. “ I fell for you. Hard. Unfortunately for me I also fell for your line of bullshit, and this is what it really is – a bunch of shit. I should have known, I should have fucking known. You are just like the rest of them.” He walked over to the balcony, staring out at the pool down below, hands on his slim hips. “Are you really on the shot? Or are you going to tell me you’re pregnant in a few months?”

“What?” Jana whispered, bringing her hands to her mouth. She was horrified. Did he really think she would try to trap him like that? That she was that conniving? Michael turned around, facing her.

“Are you going to tell me you’re pregnant in a few months? Did you lie and try to trap me with a financial obligation?” He said it quietly, coldly, devoid of any emotion.

“No, Michael I will not call you and tell you I am pregnant. Are you happy now?” She said flatly. She couldn’t believe what was happening. Just this morning they were making love and talking about their future. Now they were breaking up and she didn’t even know if they had ever really been together!

“Well that’s a relief at least.” He ground out. He was so fucking pissed right now. He was barely controlling himself. He wanted to put his fist through the wall. Or through someone, namely that fucking guy in the pictures. Just like that she had taken everything from him and pissed on it.  He was thanking God he had never told her how he really felt about her, the depth of his emotion for her. She was going to be the first woman he had ever said those words to. But now it was gone. In the blink of an eye everything was fucking gone.

“Should I leave?” Jana whispered, looking at the ground. She didn’t know what to do. This had all happened so fast and she didn’t know how to fix it. Nothing she said could make it right. She simply didn’t know what to do. She wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole. She wanted to disappear.

“I don’t fucking care. You sleep in the master and I’ll sleep in the guestroom. Or go find a room. I don’t give a fuck. I am leaving tomorrow regardless.”

Michael grabbed his cell phone before walking to the master bedroom. He came back out with his suitcase and walked over to the guest room, slamming the door behind him, causing Jana to jump. She wrapped her arms around herself, sinking to the floor in the midst of the pictures.  How had this happened?  How had this happened so quickly?  She stared at the pictures, seeing herself doing things she did not remember. How could she be so stupid? Michael was done with her.  He was completely disgusted with her, and she knew he would not forgive her.  It was too much all at once – the pictures, the allegations, the tabloids. He would not forgive her. She knew she wasn’t good enough for him. She had known it from the beginning, and now it was glaringly obvious to Michael as well.

Jana slowly stood up, suddenly very tired. She walked over to the master bedroom, looking inside forlornly. She could not sleep in there, in the bed where she and Michael had spent the past week making love.  Just this morning she had woken up in his arms, never feeling more safe and secure.  Now it was all gone.  No, she would sleep on the couch. The couch was always where she went and it always worked in the past.  Jana looked down by the bed as she was closing the door, seeing Michael’s t-shirt laying on the floor. She walked over and picked it up, bringing it to her nose.  She breathed deeply, inhaling his scent. Her Michael.

But he wasn’t anymore, was he? She reminded herself of that glaring fact. No, he was completely done with her. Jana took the shirt to the couch with her and lay down. She held the shirt close to her chest. She was empty, void of all feelings. She couldn’t even cry anymore, she had nothing left. The knot in her throat was choking her. She swallowed hard, trying to make it go down. Looking at the coffee table, she saw Michael’s bracelet there. He had taken it off. She was wrong thinking she had no tears left.  No she would not be done crying any time soon. The tear slipped out, followed by many, many more. Jana would cry til she drifted off in a fitful sleep.

* * *

 Michael could hear her crying from his room. Why wasn't she in the bedroom?? he thought selfishly to himself. He wanted so badly to go to her but his pride wouldn't let him. She had done this to them - not him.  She had done this to him. His manager was right all along. She was not good for him and would only bring him down. She obviously didn't care about him. Would she behave this way every time something happened in his career with another female? He couldn't risk his career and everything he'd worked so hard for just for it to be smeared in the headlines. No, he couldn't do this with her. This was for the best.

That knowledge didn't stop the deep ache he felt in his heart, knowing she was out there crying because of the words he had so harshly thrown at her.  He slammed his head back against the headboard, willing himself to let it go. Just let it go.  There was no undoing it now anyway, not after all of this and the words that had been said to each other.

Michael stepped out of the room sometime later, only when he could no longer hear Jana's sobs. He needed his phone charger. As he walked to the coffee table he noticed Jana asleep on the couch.  She was clutching his t-shirt. He could see she had been crying. Even now as she slept, her breath would hitch, still caught up in her crying. He could feel the knot in his own throat again, and his eyes watered, causing him to blink rapidly. He had been so mean to her, such an asshole. He longed to touch her, to reach out and comfort her.

She looked so small and vulnerable there on the couch. He saw her shiver in her sleep. Michael quickly walked over to the master bedroom, ripping the blanket off the bed and bringing it back to Jana.  He gently covered her, tucking her in as best as he could without disturbing her.  He stared at her a moment before giving in and started to sit down next to her.  His eyes fell to the floor, seeing the photo of her wrapped around the guy in the bar. His mouth hardened once again, his earlier sentiment forgotten.  He stood back up stiffly.

No, he would leave tomorrow.  She was just like the rest of them.  Just like them, and he was lucky to find out so soon.  Michael snatched up his phone charger off the coffee table and went back to the guest room. He would leave before she woke tomorrow and that would be the end of it.


	43. Chapter 43

Michael was sitting on the plane, staring pensively out the window, waiting to take off. His mind was racing with a thousand thoughts. "What ifs" and "should haves" were tormenting him. He couldn't stop thinking about the woman he left behind.

He had slipped out early, around 330 am, and waited at the airport til his flight left at 9. He just couldn’t be around Jana right now. He was still so pissed off. He knew that it wasn’t her fault the pictures were released, but it still stung. His mind wandered back to the images of the asshole she was hanging on in Dallas. What the fuck? He knew it could be rationalized, logically he knew that. It still fucking pissed him off. The thought of her being touched by another man made him see red. He had been celibate – _HE HAD BEEN CELIBATE_ –since he met Jana, and yet she does this shit. He had never gone without sex for that long, and thinking of her not showing him the same courtesy pissed him off. He wanted to strangle someone. He had done his part, but not her. She was just like the rest of the bitches he had been involved with, he thought to himself, his mouth twisting in disgust.

But she wasn’t, he argued with himself. She wasn’t.

She was nothing like those shallow, self-absorbed women he had dated in the past.

Michael sighed, rubbing his hands across his eyes and cheeks. As much as he wanted to stay pissed at her - to blame her - he knew she was nothing like the women he had been involved with previously. He knew it in his heart and soul that she was nothing like those women.

Michael pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm the ache pounding in his forehead. He shook his head, trying to regain his bearing, still thinking about last night.

What pissed him off even more than her alleged indiscretions were the rumors of him hurting her - the pictures in Galveston and the headline accusing him of doing that to her. He felt physically ill thinking of those dark days in Galveston, the first time he had met Jana. He had never felt more protective of anyone than he did with Jana. He would not hurt a hair on her head. He knew that. He hoped she knew that. He would never hurt her.

But you did hurt her, the little nagging voice whispered in his head, reminding him of all that had happened last night.

Yes, he had hurt her and it was beyond repair. He had never imagined those words coming out his mouth, the things he had called her and the things he had accused her of.

You stupid fucking asshole, he chided himself, his mouth flattening in a hard line. He had let his emotions get the best of him, outweighing all logic and reasoning. He was sure Jana could have explained things to him, made him see the light, but he just couldn’t take it all at the same time. He could have just given her the chance to explain, but he didn't. It all came together too fast and he was too hurt to see reason. It was the perfect shitstorm - all the pictures and magazines and headlines. He couldn’t take it.

He thought himself lucky that he hadn’t told her he loved her.

That was the crux of the matter – he loved her. Yes. He was in love with her. Crazy, funny, bratty, wounded Jana – he loved her. He could admit that now. He knew it that first night she crawled on the couch with him, after all that shit went down. Somewhere between the text messages and emails, the crazy flights to and from wherever she was, and that night on the couch, he had fallen for her. Fallen fast, and fallen hard. Not that it mattered anymore. She would never forgive him. He saw in her eyes the way his words had wounded her. Though she had never said she loved him, he felt that she did. Deep down he knew she did. She trusted him with her body and he believed with her heart. Yeah, she loved him, he thought to himself, a ghost of a smile forming on his face. It was full of regret, though, as he had nothing to smile about.

With that knowledge came recognition - recognition of the kind of power he had over her, and the amount of damage it would and could allow him to inflict on her.  And like the bastard he was , he had done just that. He hit her where it hurt the most.  He was hurt, and he wanted to inflict the same hurt on her. He was ashamed to admit that, but it was exactly what he had done.

You stupid, fucking asshole, he thought to himself again. He stared at his mobile, almost willing it to ring. He desperately wanted to call her, to beg for forgiveness, but he knew she wouldn’t listen. He had hurt her too badly. What's done is done. He'd royally fucked this one up.

Michael looked again out the window as the captain called for everyone to turn off their mobile phones. No, he would leave it alone. He got what he deserved. She was better off without him anyway. He just needed to get his fucking heart to understand that he was better off too.


	44. Chapter 44

The alarm was going off on her phone, jarring Jana awake. She opened her eyes, momentarily confused by where she was. She sat up and looked around the all too quiet hotel room, knowing he was gone. She shivered, feeling cold and small in the giant room. She was still on the couch. She pulled the blanket off – _where the fuck had that come from?_ – and stumbled over to the guest room and opened the door. Yes, he was gone. No trace of him there. She slowly closed the door, walked back over and grabbed her phone before heading to the master bedroom. It was done and she needed to get ready for work.

Thinking twice, she headed back to the coffee table, and scooped up all of the photos and magazines. She would deal with these later. She didn’t want the cleaning lady to find them. She laughed out loud at that thought. Who the fuck cares, Jana? Everyone knows by now. She was scared to turn on the television for fear of what she would see. Again, it was done and nothing she could do about it. She carried the pile of shit in her arms back with her to the master, and dumped it on the bed. She grabbed her suitcase, opened it, and shoved all the offending items inside. She would figure out to do with those later. Right now she needed to get ready for work. She was going to be late.

Her phone buzzed. She looked down at it, hoping, but knowing it wouldn’t be him. It was Andy. Jana ignored it, knowing she couldn’t talk right now. She was numb. She had nothing to say to anyone. She dropped the phone down on the bed and headed to the shower. Again, she was going to be late. Luckily there was no PT today as it was an organizational day. She just needed to be there by 0900 for formation. After that she would disappear. She was going to check out of this fucking hotel and get herself her own apartment. Today she would make that happen. She had to get out of this hotel as soon as possible.

* * *

 

After finishing in the shower, she pulled her hair into a tight bun and stared at herself in the mirror. “You look like shit, Sears..” she whispered to herself. Indeed she did. Her eyes were puffy and swollen, her face was still blotchy. She just looked bad. Her eyes were dull and listless. She looked haunted, like someone who had just had their heart ripped from their chest. She grabbed her toothbrush, noticing the second brush next to hers in the holder. That damn lump was back in her throat. He had left his toothbrush. She picked it up, and stared at it, remembering all the time they had spent in this fucking bathroom. She remembered him in here brushing his teeth, a towel wrapped around his waist, dancing to whatever music was playing in his head.

She remembered making love in here so many times, the things he had said to her and the way he had made her feel. The things she had done with him that she had never done with anyone else. Ever. She smiled softly, and could feel the tears welling up again, that lump threatening to choke her. Stop it! She had to stop this right now. It was over. She had fucked it up and it was over. She grabbed the toothbrush, walked over to the trash and threw it away. She needed to get rid of everything that reminded her of him – including his toothbrush. She just needed to get over him. It was done and he was gone.

Jana walked out of the bathroom, and picked up her cellphone. Of course she had new voicemails. All from Andy.

**Andy: Babe I have been calling all night and morning. No answer. Fucking pick up the phone. I am worried. How did everything go? Are you guys ok? Are you okay? Call me back right now!**

Was she okay? Jana laughed out loud, albeit a bit maniacally. No she wasn’t fucking okay, but she was going to be. She had known deep down that this day would come before too long. She was never good enough and they would eventually leave. It was a fool’s dream to think that there was a future with Michael. She clicked on the next message.

**Andy: I swear to God if you don’t answer I am flying down there. It’s a 4 day for us and you know I’ll come. Never mind, you know what? I am taking leave and I am coming. I am getting on a plane right now and coming. You better answer the phone or I’ll go to your command and freak out. You know I’ll do it. Call me back.**

Fuck. Did she want Andy to come now? No. She wanted to be alone. That’s what she wanted. She knew she didn’t need to be alone, however. That would be the worst thing for her right now. Isolation was not a good place for her. Regardless of what she was feeling about Michael, she would not let it drag her back down to that dark place like before. She was better now. Much of it thanks to Michael and she was grateful for that at least.

Besides, she needed to cuss Andy out for telling her to go get in his bed. This could have all been avoided if she had never slept with him. Yeah right, she snorted. She knew that sleeping with him had just been the straw that broke the camel’s back. She had fallen for that man way back in Galveston. She knew that now, could tell when the change had occurred. She thought about how he had taken care of her, helping her to the bathroom and helping her bathe. She thought of the stupid little bracelets he had bought them and the time they spent traversing that island on foot. Climbing onto that couch with him, snuggling under the blankets without him knowing. That was when she knew. When he wrapped his arms around her and she was able to sleep on his chest, she knew. She felt safe with him, protected. She didn’t know how he felt about her – he had alluded to feeling something, but she was sure it was gone now. Whatever he felt was long gone.

Lucky for her she had never told him she loved him. He would have thrown that in her face with everything else. No, better that she had kept that secret to herself. It had all worked out the way it should in the end. It was for the best, she told herself. She was no good for him and they both knew that.

Jana grabbed her keys and headed out the door. She would call Andy on the way, letting her know to come on down and where to find her. She could help her find an apartment. It would be great, she tried to convince herself. All she could do now was move on. That was all she could do.


	45. Chapter 45

Andy arrived late Saturday night, and Jana picked her up from the airport. Jana had moved hotels earlier in the day, as she couldn’t spend another night in the one Michael had gotten them. Neither Jana nor Andy spoke on the ride to the hotel. Andy seemed to understand – bless her heart – and didn’t push. However, Jana knew it was only a matter of time before the questions came. The girl was crazy, in the truest sense of the word, but she loved Jana, and Jana loved her friend back. Andy was the only reliable person she could trust and count on, and had seen Jana at her worst many times, both in the states and downrange. No one else would have dropped everything and hopped on a plane to come see her.

Michael would and Michael had, a nagging voice played in her head. No, she argued with herself, he wouldn’t. He would have before - and he had - but not anymore. Not after what she had done and all the trouble she had caused for his career.

Arriving at the hotel, Jana mentally shook the thoughts of Michael off. Hopping out of the car, they grabbed Andy’s bags – all 4 of them – and headed inside. Why she needed 4 bags for a week’s vacation was beyond Jana. Jana just shook her head as they struggled to get all her junk inside in one trip. Andy just smiled at her, shrugging her shoulders.

“There’s a guest room over there, or you can sleep with me. Whatever you wanna do.” Jana stated, giving Andy the option. She already knew the answer.

“You know I am sleeping with you crazy. We always do!” Andy winked at her, trying to suck Jana out of the funk that she seemed to be slipping back into. “We can watch stupid movies and drown our sorrow in ice cream.” Jana looked at Andy out of the corner of her eye.

“You don’t have any sorrow. Right now I am the only sorrowful one.”

“Pffft! I have some sorrow too, and I’ll never turn down ice cream. Besides, I’ll help drown your sorrow.” She looked closely at her friend, saying softly, “I am sure there is enough for both of us, huh?”

Jana just looked at her, the tears threatening to fall. She hadn’t cried since Michael left her on the couch Wednesday night. She had held it together since then, but now she felt like it was crushing her. She shrugged her shoulders, unable to speak. She walked over to the couch and sat down, pulling her legs underneath her and wrapping her arms around herself. She stared at the coffee table in front of her as she felt Andy sit down next to her.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“What’s there to say? I fucked up. He left. End of story.”

“No, honey. You did nothing wrong. He overreacted. I could punch him in his face for the way he handled all of this. I still might if I can get my hands on him.”

Jana turned to Andy, looking her straight in the eyes. “He thinks I slept with that major in Dallas, Andy. He said I was “whoring around.” What the fuck? I didn’t sleep with him, did I?”

Andy’s mouth set in a hard line, and she glared at Jana. “That fucking asshole. No you didn’t sleep with anyone. We came home that night and passed out. Remember the next day? We were throwing up all day.” She started tapping her foot. “He really said whoring around?”

“Yes. Then he asked me if I had tried to trap him with a baby.”

“What?! Oh my God! He really said that?” Andy stood up, pacing now, hands on her hips. ‘Why would he say that?”

“He kept saying I was just like all the others, whatever the fuck that means. I think the magazine that had my busted lip on the front page was the worst. He was really pissed about that one.” Andy stopped and stared at her, her fingers pulling at her lips now. This was her thinking look, and Jana could see the wheels turning.

"Did he say anything else? Why was he so pissed? Did he say he loved you?”

Jana started laughing now, really laughing. What a joke.

“What? What did he say?” Andy demanded.

“He said he fell for me. He also said he fell for my bullshit, and he mocked me getting upset with his beard color and the whole sex thing.” Jana looked at Andy, the hurt back in her eyes. “Why would he throw that in my face? He saw me freak out on numerous occasions. I was never faking it.”

“Ok but he said he fell for you? What does that mean?” Andy completely ignored everything else in her typical fashion.

“I don’t know what it means!” Jana screamed at her, shocking even herself. “He said that and then he called me a whore and walked out on me. You tell me what the fuck it means!” The tears were coming now, she could no longer contain them. She felt Andy sit back down and wrap her arms around her. Jana laid down, putting her head in Andy’s lap and cried. Andy smoothed her hair from her face and rubbed her shoulder and back, trying to console her friend.

“You love him don’t you?” she asked Jana softly.

“Yes. More than I thought possible,” she whispered back.

“Want me to call him and cuss him out?” Jana laughed a little. Her friend was crazy. As usual.

“No. I think it’s best this way. I am no good for him. I probably ruined his career.” Andy’s hand stilled in Jana’s hair, and she stopped rubbing her shoulder.

“Is that what you think? You did not ruin his fucking career. The man will be perfectly fine, believe me. Hell, it’ll probably make him more famous. Sit up please.” Andy helped Jana sit up, turning her friend to face her. “Look at me. Seriously.” Jana looked up at Andy, wiping away the tears that were still there. “If anybody is no good for anyone it’s him. He doesn’t deserve you. What kind of fucker runs at the first hint of something that’s not even true? Oh my God what an asshole.”

“He’s really not like that Andy. He’s a good guy deep down. He was really hurt. If I could have explained it to him, I think maybe he would have understood.”

Andy shook her head at her friend, a wry smile forming on her lips. “You must really love the jackass to defend him against me.”

“I told you I did. Even after all of it, I know that I still love him.” She looked Andy in the eyes, her brow creasing in confusion and self-doubt. “Does that mean I am weak? Loving someone who hurt me like that? Is that normal?”

“Oh babe! That does not mean you are weak. It just means you love him. We can’t help who we love. Even if they are incredibly handsome movie stars that turn out to be insecure assholes that run at the first hint of trouble.” She smiled at Jana.

“I feel like I should be mad at you for talking so badly about him…” Jana smiled back at her friend.

“Come on chick. Let’s grab our ice cream and head to bed and watch stupid movies all night! I brought _PS I Love You_. We can drown our sorrows with Ben and Jerry ,and Gerard Butler!”

Her friend was so stupid, Jana thought as she followed her to the room. So stupid and so wonderful – all at the same time.


	46. Chapter 46

Somebody’s phone was buzzing. Andy slowly sat up, looked around sleepily and grabbed her phone. It wasn’t hers. She looked over at Jana, who was fast asleep. Andy could see her phone glowing, moving around on the bedside table as it vibrated. Whoever it was would leave a message. Once it stopped buzzing, Andy lay back down, closing her eyes and started to drift off to sleep again.

Then the fucking phone started buzzing again. Fuck. Andy crawled over Jana and grabbed her phone.

Fuck again. It was Michael. It was 230am and this fucker was calling.

Andy contemplated not answering for like 2 seconds before she hit the answer button. No time like the present to give this fucker a piece of her mind. She hopped off the bed, and walked towards the living room area before speaking into the phone.

“Hello?”

“Jana? Is that you?” Michael slurred back at her. He sounded drunk. Stupid fucker.

“No asshole, it’s not. It’s her friend, Andy. Remember me?” she asked him icily.

“Oh yeah. Fuck me. Where’s Jana?”

“Don’t worry about her. Why are you calling now?”

“Look if you could just let me talk to her…” he was really slurring his words.

“Are you drunk? Drunk dialing is your thing, huh? Not enough balls to call during the day when you are sober?” Andy bit back. This motherfucker here…

“Ok I deserve that,” Michael mumbled. “Look I know what you must think of me but-”

“What must I think of you? That you are a coward? That you are so fucking insecure that you would dump Jana at the first sign of trouble? Let’s not forget who was parading all over the television with some blonde bitch. But that was okay for you because it was work right?” Andy ground out. She was losing her patience quickly. “You know what? You are a piece of shit. You have no idea what she has been through, the things she has had to overcome. For whatever reason she loved you and loves you still. You don’t deserve her. You are a coward, and a piece of shit.”

Silence for a few minutes as Andy paced back and forth. Oh she was going to let this fucker have it now, whether he could comprehend or not. Was he even on the line still? Stupid fucking drunk, calling at 3 in the morning.

“Are you there?” she asked him.

“Yes.” He sounded more sober now. “She told you that?”

“Told me what? That you are a piece of shit coward -”

“No that she loves me.” Michael cut her off. “I know how much of a shit I am, but did she tell you that she loves me?” He definitely sounded more sober now.

“Yes, asshole. She did. Not even 6 hours ago, as she cried her eyes out on the couch. What a piece of fucking shit you are. You know that right?” Andy’s voice was rising, almost screaming now. This fucker would not get it through his thick skull.

“Ok, Andy right? Ok I get it. I am a piece of shit. I know I handled things wrong. I overreacted and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know that I can. What should I do?” He was asking her for advice now? He almost sounded desperate. Andy laughed out loud. This guy was a piece of work.

“Andy? What’s going on?” Jana appeared in the doorway, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

“Nothing babe, go back to sleep.” Andy said with a forced smile. She would not subject her friend to this right now.

“Is that Jana? Let me talk to her please.” Michael said, his voice rising as well.

“No, I don’t think so. Call back when you are sober.” With that Andy hung up the phone. She completely powered it off before walking back over to Jana.

Her friend did not need to deal with this right now. It could wait til tomorrow. If Michael was serious, he would call back. When he was sober he would call back and fix things.


	47. Chapter 47

It was Sunday morning , after 9am, and Andy and Jana were still lying in bed. Jana was awake, while Andy was softly snoring. Jana reached over and grabbed her cell phone. Weirdly it was completely turned off, so she pushed the power button and waited while the phone came back on.

6 missed calls.

6 missed calls and 2 text messages.

From Michael.

Jana looked over at Andy with a curious glance, wondering if she had anything to do with her phone being turned off. She probably did, knowing her. She vaguely remembered Andy being on the phone late last night, telling her to go back to bed. Or was that early this morning? Jana couldn’t remember. She should wake her up and demand an explanation but she was more curious about the text messages and phone calls first. Besides, she wanted some time to read them without Andy butting in. No voicemails, just missed calls. Jana clicked on the first text message.

 **Michael:** _**Baby it’s me. Will you please pick up? I will keep calling til you pick up.** _

Hmmm….she did not remember the phone ringing last night. She looked again at Andy, knowing full well what had probably happened. What an overprotective brat her friend was. She opened the next text message.

**Michael: _Look I am a little drunk. Well a lot drunk. Please forgive me for everything. I am a shit. Just like Andy said. A complete shit. Please pick up._ **

Forgive him? What?? Jana was shocked. Could he be serious? Had he forgiven her for all the pictures and the guy in Dallas? She chewed on her fingernail, wondering what to do. She needed to call him. Yes, she would call him. She needed to know. She crawled out of the bed as quietly as possible and headed to the living room. She slowly closed the door to the bedroom and headed to the couch. She dialed his number. It was ringing. She sat down on the edge of the couch, her nerves frayed, still chewing on her finger nail.

“Hello?” a female voice answered the phone. Jana’s heart stopped beating, that damn lump back in her throat. “Hello?” the unknown woman asked again.

“Um…may I speak with Michael please?” She asked, unsure of what to say or do. Who was this woman answering his phone?

“He’s not available at the moment. Can I take a message?” The voice asked again.

“Who are you?” Jana asked bluntly. She needed to know if he was sleeping around already. Wouldn’t surprise her, she thought to herself. Not after everything she had put him through.

“Excuse me? Who is this?” The unknown lady asked her.

Jana had enough. She couldn’t do this. She was talking to someone he had slept with the night before and she couldn’t do it. Someone that he'd had sex with was answering his phone. It was too raw, it hurt too much. It had only been a few days and already he had moved on.

“I’m nobody. Sorry to bother you..” she mumbled, hanging up the phone. Jana sat there, numb to her core. Well, there you have it, Sears. There was the proof that it was over. He had already moved on. Andy walked out then, seeing Jana sitting on the couch.

“Hey babe. How come you didn’t wake me?”

Jana just shrugged her shoulders, unable to speak. Her eyes filled with tears and she bit her lower lip to keep from sobbing. Andy walked over quickly, enveloping her friend in her arms.

“Jana? Tell me. What’s going on?” she leaned back and looked at her friend, concern on her face. Jana held up the cell phone and shrugged again, the tears spilling over.

“I…called him…” she choked out, “I called him and a woman answered.” God she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t breathe and the damn lump was choking her. “Why would he do that to me? After the messages he left, why would he do that?”

“Let me see the phone.” Andy held out her hand for the phone and Jana gave it to her without question. “He called last night, Jana. Late. Like 2 or 3 this morning.”

Jana looked at her friend, some of the puzzle pieces coming together. “He called last night? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jana demanded. “I could have stopped him. What if I could have stopped him from sleeping with her? Why would you do that?” Jana stood up, pissed off now. How could her friend do this to her?

“Whoa, whoa! No way are you blaming this on me. He called last night, drunk as fuck, and wanted to talk to you. I said no since I didn’t think you needed to deal with that last night.”

Jana just stared at Andy, unable to comprehend what was going on. Why would her friend do this to her? “Who are you to make decisions for me?” Jana screamed at her friend.

“Someone who gives a fuck about you!” Andy screamed back, standing up now. “He was fucking drunk, I said no. I told him to call back when he was sober. I don’t fucking know why a woman answered but that is not my fault!”

Jana held out her hand. “Give me my phone back. Give it to me!” Andy held up the phone and Jana snatched it from her fingers. “I can’t fucking believe you did this.”

“I thought I was helping you.” Andy bit back, thoroughly pissed herself now. How the fuck did this spiral out of control like this?

“Well you weren’t. I am going to the bedroom. Please leave me alone.” Jana walked away, heading to the master bedroom.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Really? You are pissed at me?” Andy screamed at her. Jana slammed the door, effectively ending the conversation.

Andy sat back down on the couch, in shock from what had just happened. They had never fought like that. Andy wiped at her eyes, angry tears forming there. What the fuck? She would be damned if she would lose her friendship over some fucking asshole actor. She would be damned.


	48. Chapter 48

Andy walked over to the bedroom and tried to open the door. It was locked.

“Jana? Please let me in.”

Nothing.

“Jana. I need my cell phone. Please let me in.”

More silence. Really? Andy felt something hit her foot. She looked down, seeing her cell phone next to her foot. Had she really slid her phone under the door?

“Are you serious right now? Did you really slide my phone under the door?”

Nothing. More silence. Andy reached down and grabbed her cell phone.

“Fine!” she mumbled to herself as she walked away from the door and headed to the other bedroom. She was going to call this fucker right now and she was going to talk to him. She pulled up his number and pressed the call button. It started ringing.

“Hello?” A female answered the phone. Andy could feel disgust rising in her throat. Jana wasn’t lying.

“I need to speak with Michael.”

“I am sorry, Mr. Fassbender is not available at the moment. Can I take a message?”

“No you may not take a message. Please get _Mr. Fassbender_ on the phone immediately.” Andy ground out sarcastically.  This fucking asshole would answer the phone today.

“May I ask who’s calling?” the woman asked, a distinctively clipped tone to her voice.

“Sure. Tell him it’s Andy. He’ll know who it is.” Andy replied coolly.

“I’ll see what I can do.” The woman replied curtly. “Hold one moment, please.”

“Sure.”

Fucking bitch, Andy thought to herself. She stared at her cuticle while she waited, thinking how badly she needed a manicure. Her nails really did look bad. She snapped back to attention when she heard muffled sounds over the phone. It sounded like the phone was being passed around, and she could hear what sounded like sheets ruffling. What a fucking jackass, Andy thought disgustedly.

“Hello?” Michael mumbled into the phone. He sounded hungover as hell. Good, Andy thought. She hoped his head hurt like hell, and she was about to make it worse.

“Hello fucker. How are you?” she purposely spoke loud, trying to aggravate him.

“Ah yes. Great,” he sighed into the phone. “Andy, if I remember correctly? Could you talk a little softer please?”

“No! No, I can’t actually!” Andy practically yelled at him. She heard him hiss. She laughed to herself.

“For fuck’s sake please talk softer. My head is busting wide open.”

“Good. You get what you deserve!” she practically shouted, albeit a smudge gleefully. “Who is the bitch answering your phone? You just couldn’t wait could you? Had to go get your rocks off so soon?”

“What? What are you talking about?” he whispered back. Andy could imagine him holding his head in his hands.

“I said Who. Is. The. Bitch. Answering.Your. Phone?” she spoke, just short of screaming, enunciating every word loudly.

“She is my assistant.” Michael stated flatly.

“Your assistant? Not some bitch you're sleeping with?”

“Yes, my assistant. No to sex or whatever the fuck you just said. Where is Jana?” Michael asked her, sounding more awake now.

“She is holed up in her room. Again. She called you earlier and your… _assistant._.. answered. You can imagine the rest.”

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck no,” Michael whispered, sounding horrified. “I haven’t slept with anyone since her. I swear. Should I call her? What should I do?”

Andy laughed out loud. Her friend and this idiot were something else. Both wanting the same thing and not doing a damn thing about it. It was time for her to work her magic yet again. She sighed dramatically.  Her work was never done...

“You need to make it right with her. Do you love her?” she asked Michael bluntly.

“With all my heart.” Michael stated firmly. There was no arguing with his tone of voice. “I will do anything to fix what I have fucked up. Tell me what to do. Please. I am begging you.”

“Let me figure something out and I will call you back. Are you available to come to Alabama? Like today or tomorrow?”

“I will drop everything and clear my calendar. Want me to come now?” Michael asked, sounding almost frantic.

“No. Not yet. Let me make sure she is ok. You really fucked her up you know.”

“I know. I will fix it. I swear. I know you’ll kick my ass otherwise.”

Andy laughed out loud for real this time. “I may still kick your ass just because. You guys are ridiculous. Fucking seriously ridiculous.”

“So what should I do right now? Can I call her?”

“No. Wait for a while. Let me talk to her, but be ready for when I call ok?”

“Absolutely. I am going to pack my shit now. Hurry please.”

Andy cocked an eyebrow at his audacity. “Really? You’re going to rush me now when you fucked it all up in the first place? Calm down, lover boy. I’ll call you in a bit, today or tomorrow.”

“Ok…” Michael sounded reluctant to let her go. ‘Promise?”

“Yes! Fuck!” Andy yelled into the phone. “Go pack your shit and chill the fuck out til I call you back.”

“Ok.” Michael sounded resigned to his fate now. “Andy?”

“Fuck! What?” God he was aggravating as all hell. And needy. Aggravating and needy. Other than his good looks, she had no idea what Jana saw in him. He was just as crazy as she was.

“Thank you. For everything, thank you.”

"Don’t thank me just yet. You’ve made a fucking mess of everything. You’re gonna owe me big time.”

“Absolutely. Whatever you want, it’s yours” Michael stated plainly.

“Ok, I’ll call you later. Go chill out. Take some Tylenol and drink water. Or something…”

“Ok, thank you again.”

Andy hung up the phone, looking towards the master bedroom. She had her work cut out for her. She needed to figure out how to first get Jana to open the fucking door, and secondly how to convince her to give jackass-boy as second chance. She took a deep breath, and stood up, heading to the guest bathroom. She needed to take a shower and get dressed. Hopefully Jana would have calmed down by then and would be ready to talk. Hopefully.


	49. Chapter 49

Later that evening Jana stepped out of her room. She had to. She was starving. She didn’t want to be around Andy at the moment, but she was starving. Andy was sitting on the couch, watching television. Jana stiffly walked into the kitchen, and opened the fridge. She could feel Andy’s eyes on her. She would be damned if she would speak first.

“Really? Are you going to ignore me for the rest of the week?” Andy called from the couch. Jana said nothing, continuing to dig through the fridge and finding nothing. Andy stood up and walked over to the kitchen, sitting down at the small table there. Jana was going to talk to her if she had to hold her down and make her.

“Jana you have to talk to me. You can’t ignore me for the next 4 days.”

“You can leave if you’d like. I really don’t want you here.” Jana shot back.

“Oh wow. Real grown up Jana. Really. All this shit over a guy.” Andy said, exasperation clear in her voice. “Can you just sit down and we talk about this like two grown women? Please?”

Jana turned and looked at Andy, her eyes narrowed. Andy gestured towards the chair opposite her. Jana shook her head and walked over, angrily pulled out the chair and sat down. She crossed her arms across her chest, and looked at a spot over Andy’s head.

“Ok whatever. Don’t look at me. You’re gonna listen to me at least.” Andy said. “That jackass called late, like 2 or 3 in the morning. You had just cried your eyes out earlier, and I didn’t think that you needed to deal with it at that moment. Besides, he was drunker than shit.” Andy continued, speaking more softly this time. “Babe, I was just trying to help you out. I thought I was doing the right thing. Can you understand that?”

Jana wiped angrily at a tear that had slipped out and rolled down her cheek, still not looking at Andy. She was her very best friend, but she was pissed at her still.

“I just feel like if I had talked to him maybe he wouldn’t have slept with her…” Jana whispered, her voice cracking. God it hurt so much to think about him with someone else. She knew it was inevitable – he wasn’t coming back to her – and he would find someone else. She just didn’t think it would happen so soon. How could he forget everything that happened between them? Because he doesn’t care about you the way you care about him, Sears! That little voice reminded her exactly why. He didn’t love her.

“Jana. Babe. I don’t think that’s what happened. I think he just got drunk and that’s all. I don’t think he had sex with anyone.” Jana looked at her friend sharply, her eyes still full with unshed tears.

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know. Just from what I gathered on the phone. I don’t think he slept with anyone.” Andy stood up and walked around the table, sitting in the chair next to Jana. She reached out and grabbed her hand, covering it with her other hand. “I feel like a fucking idiot for saying this, but I think you need to give him another chance. I think this is all just one big clusterfuck.”

Jana looked at her friend, her brown eyes searching Andy’s blue ones for any doubt there. Give him another chance? She would give him a million – but he would never forgive her, she was sure of it.

“I would forgive him in a heartbeat, Andy. He’ll never forgive me. He said as much before he left.” She shuddered, remembering those harsh words he had thrown at her. He had said she was “whoring around.” No, he would never forgive those pictures.

“I think he would. I don’t think it’s as bad as you think it is.” Andy continued. She wanted to make sure Jana was ready to see him before she continued putting her plan in place. She would not elaborate on the conversation she had with Michael. No, that was up to him to rectify with Jana. He had fucked up and he could undo it on his own. She just needed to get the two rockheads together so they could sort their shit out.

“So what are you saying? Should I call him?” Jana asked, nervousness overwhelming her. Andy shook her head.

"Oh no, no don’t call him. He said he was busy on some film. He would call you in a week or so.” Andy lied, trying to keep this little charade going. “That is if you were up to talking to him or even seeing him again?” She needed to make absolutely sure this was going to go according to plan before she set it in motion.

“Oh my God of course I would!” For the first time in a few days, Jana had a smile on her face, a little bit of hope. Maybe all wasn’t completely lost? There was a tiny glimmer of hope there and she was clinging to it for dear life.

Lightening flashed across the sky, followed by a clap of thunder making both women jump.

“It’s getting bad out there, huh?” Andy asked, looking towards the window.

“Supposed to rain all week. Should make apartment hunting really fun…” Jana trailed off.

“I’m sorry!” They both said at once, looking at each other before bursting out in laughter.

“You are such a bitch, you know that right?” Jana teased her friend, all traces of anger gone.

“I know, but I do it out of the goodness of my little black heart.” Andy smirked at her. She had her friend back. “I love you, babe. I only want the best for you, you know that right?”

“I know you do. I am sorry I got so mad at you. This whole thing with Michael makes me crazy.”

“No shit. You’re both fucking crazy in my book. Perfect for each other in fact.”

Jana’s thoughts immediately went back to Michael, and the conversation Andy had with him. “What else did he say? What did you guys talk about?”

“Everything I have told you, babe. That’s all.” Andy hedged, not wanting to divulge all of the conversation with Jana. Michael needed to tell her those things, and they needed to fix it together. She needed to implement her plan now.

“I got some bad news though…” Andy trailed off, trying to sound sad.

“What? What now?” Jana’s brow creased. What the fuck now?

“I gotta leave. Family emergency.” Andy lied.

“Who? What can I do to help?”

“Oh nobody you know babe. I just need to get back home so I can go handle this….issue..” she hated lying to her friend.  But it’s for a good cause, she reminded herself.

“Well ok. If you gotta go I guess. I am going to be sad that we didn’t get the week together. I was hoping you’d help me find an apartment.” Jana looked sadly out the window as the rain came down.

“Well it’s gonna rain all week, so it would have sucked anyways. I’ll come back when you get…settled. How does that sound?” Just agree damnit!!

“When are you leaving?”

“Well I need to go immediately, so I was gonna pack my stuff and head out.”

“Do you want me to take you to the airport?” Jana asked her friend, wanting to help in any way she could.

“Oh no, no I’ll be fine. I’ll take a cab.”

“That’s stupid. I have the rental right out front.” Jana protested.

“No, it’s fine really. I already made arrangements.” Fuck she was not making this easy!! “I promise I’ll come back when you are settled, ok? I just need to get out of here and go handle this thing with my family. No biggie ok?”

“Well alright, if that’s what you want to do. I’ll help you pack then?” Finally. She bought it. Now for the second part of her plan.

“Yep. Thank you. Let me run to the restroom really quick and then we can get all my stuff together and I’ll be on my way.” Andy hopped up, grabbed her cell phone and headed to the guest bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

Jana stared after her friend, thinking that she was acting very strange. She stood up and walked around, grabbing things that belonged to Andy. She would chalk her behavior up to her family emergency, whatever it was.


	50. Chapter 50

Jana was sitting on the couch, watching television the next evening. It had been a completely boring and shitty day. Andy had left last night and it was still raining. It had been raining non-stop for the past few days. She had not gone out to look at apartments today, but had vegged out on the couch in her usual fashion. Domino’s pizza and _P.S. I Love You_ – courtesy of Andy. Great way to spend an evening. Another crack of thunder shook the hotel room, causing Jana to jump. She hated being alone in storms. They scared the shit out of her. She wrapped her blanket around her a little tighter and turned the television up, trying to drown out the sound outside.

Another sound came, a knock at the door? Jana stared at the door, before shaking her head. Probably hail in this damn storm. She turned her attention back to the television.

There was the sound again, a little louder this time. Someone was knocking on her fucking door. Maybe it was Andy? Maybe she had forgotten something? She really wished she had never left. She hopped up, taking the blanket with her. She leaned up to the peep hole, trying to see outside. Fuck. It was someone in a hoodie. Looked like a man. What the fuck would someone want this late in the evening? She wasn’t expecting anyone! She contemplated not opening the door when the knock came again, harder this time. She cracked the door slightly, the chain lock still in place.

“Yes?” She called through the tiny gap. The man looked up at her. She gasped as she saw those familiar blue eyes stare back at her from underneath the hood of the sweatshirt. Her heart stopped. Michael smiled shyly back at her, shrugging his shoulders. Jana quickly closed the door, pulled the chain off and opened the door wide. There he was. Michael was there, right in front of her. She stared back at him in shock. This could not be happening. Was she dreaming?

“Hey baby..” Michael whispered nervously. He was so fucking unsure of himself right now. Should he go to her, stay right where he was? Fuck! He shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from grabbing her. He felt the rain hitting his back, drenching his sweatshirt and jeans.

“Michael? What…what are you doing here?” Jana wrapped the blanket tighter around her body.

“Well I got this phone call from Andy and-“

“From Andy?” Jana stared at him as if he had grown two heads.

“Yes, from Andy. Look can I come inside?” Jana snapped to, realizing he was still standing in the rain.

“Oh yes, sorry! Come in, come in.” She scooted back away from him. She was in shock – plain and simple. How the hell did he end up at her hotel? She knew of course – Andy  and her meddling- but why was he here? She was so fucking nervous. Michael stepped in, closing the door behind him. He slipped off his hoodie, shaking it out, rain falling from it.

“Sorry. I got a little soaked out there…” he trailed off apologetically.

“Oh I am so sorry! Let me get you a towel!” Jana dropped the blanket on the couch and rushed out of the room and into the bathroom, grabbing a towel for him. She glanced in the mirror quickly. Fuck! As usual she looked like shit. Fuck it, she thought as she walked back out into the living room. She handed the towel to Michael and stepped back again, eying him closely. She watched as he dried off. Damn him but he was still so gorgeous. His hair was a little longer now, more red, and sticking up everywhere due to his vigorous toweling off. He had a sexy scruff going on, his beard a little fuller. She ached to run her fingers across his jaw and kiss those beautiful thin lips…

“Jana? Baby?” Michael jolted her out of her daze, causing her to drag her eyes back up to his. She felt her face flush with embarrassment. He was like a damn drug to her, like a flame and she was the moth. She couldn’t resist him. She subconsciously wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she still had her damn blanket.

Michael stared at her. She was wearing a fucking tank top and sweats. They were his weakness where she was concerned. He yearned to bridge the gap between them, to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless. That fucking lower lip that she was biting on at this moment was driving him mad. He took a step forward, subconsciously, his body betraying him. Jana took a step back, halting him in his tracks. Her eyes were guarded.

“What are you doing here?” She asked him, her voice now having a defensive edge to it. She was wary of him, he could sense it. After the way he had treated her, he didn’t blame her.

“Andy called me. I wanted to come talk to you. Talk about…you know…Look can we go sit down?” He gestured to the couches. Jana nodded and walked over to the loveseat. It was apparent that she wasn’t trying to sit next to him. Ok, Fassbender, you have your work cut out for you. Don’t fuck this up, he mentally coached himself on the way to the sofa.

“I tried to call you back. A woman answered your phone, Michael.” Jana blurted out. Michael saw in her eyes the true story, full of hurt and pain at the thought of him with someone else, as she stared hard at him before looking away.

“She is an assistant, baby. Nothing more. I got pissed that night, completely shitfaced, and had to be driven home. She was taking care of my schedules for me. Nothing more I swear.”

Jana looked at him carefully. “Your assistant?”

Michael nodded. “My assistant. Nothing more.”

Jana smiled a little, relief flooding her body. He had not slept with her! Her smiled faded as she remembered the night he left, and all the things he had said to her. She needed to clear the air now, before the discussion went any further. She frowned at him, her brow furrowed. “Michael I never slept with anyone after meeting you. The guy in Dallas was a stupid drunken night that I don’t remember. I know I never slept with him,” she said softly. “I was mad at you still after seeing you with that woman on television. I wanted to forget you. I never slept with him though.”

Micheal smiled softly at her. “I know, baby. Andy filled me in.”

“You believe me?” she whispered, hoping against hope.

“Yeah. I believe you.” He continued smiling at her. “Do you believe me?”

Jana nodded, unable to speak. She would not cry, she would not cry, she would not cry. She kept repeating that in her head, unaware as Michael moved closer to her, forcing his way onto the loveseat. She looked warily at him, unsure of herself. Unsure of him. He took each of her hands in his, intertwining his fingers with hers, as he brought one hand up to his mouth, grazing her knuckles with his lips. Jana’s heart stopped beating as she stared into his eyes. She would not cry, she would not cry. Just keep repeating that!

“Jana I am sorry. For everything I said and everything I did to you that night. I don’t know if you will ever forgive me, but I am sorry. I was hurt and I was angry, and I overreacted. Please tell me what I can do to make this better for you?” He was sorry? After all she had put him through, he was sorry? A hysterical giggle escaped her. She was completely flabbergasted at what was happening right now. “Baby?” Michael asked, confused by her reaction. “Tell me what’s going on right now.”

“Michael I caused so much damage to you and your career with those pictures, how can you-”

Michael leaned forward in that moment, cupping her cheeks in his hands and kissed her softly, ruining any coherent thought she might have had. Oh God how she had missed this! She melted into him, feeling his lips move against hers. He sucked on her lower lip in his usual fashion, before leaning back and staring at her.

“As usual I have to kiss you senseless to get you to stop talking, don’t I?” He smiled at her, his thumbs rubbing against her jaw.

“I think I still have some sense about me…” Jana whispered, staring at his lips. Michael smiled now, his sharky smile, and leaned forward again, rubbing his nose against hers.

“Well then, I guess I have to kiss you again, don’t I?” He teased, nipping again at her lip that he loved so much. Jana closed her eyes, reveling in the feeling of him. Of Michael. God she had missed this.

“I think so. Until it’s all gone…” She whispered against his head as he nuzzled her neck. She had really, really missed this.


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This may be the end of Jana and Michael for a while. Will probably have one-shots down the road. Thanks to all my lovely readers, especially Sassy!!
> 
> Until we meet again...
> 
> P.S. I totally hijacked a line from The Counselor :-)

Jana and Michael were lying in bed, her back to his chest, listening to the rain pelt the window of their room. They had made love twice that night, and she was luxuriating in the feel of his hard chest against her bare back. Lightning lit up the sky, followed by a crack of thunder, causing Jana to snuggle back closer to Michael. He wrapped his arms around her a little tighter.

“You okay love?” he whispered in her hair.

“I am now.” Jana sighed, a happy smile on her face. God she loved this man. Loved him so much.   “I love you so much.”

She felt Michael still behind her, and her heart leapt in her throat as she froze in embarrassment. She had not meant to say those words out loud. Fuck. It was too soon!

“What did you say?” He whispered in the dark.

Oh fuck! Jana’s mind scrambled to find something to say, to retract from the enormity of what she had let slip out. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!

“Michael, I…I mean… I didn’t mean that…” she stammered, unsure of what to say. He would surely think she was crazy now! Oh God!

“Say it again. Please.” He whispered again.

Jana could feel her heart beating – no pounding – in her chest. Her cheeks were hot with embarrassment even in the cool of the room.

“Say it. Please.”

“Uhmm..I said…I love you…” Jana rushed out, feeling like her lungs were being squeezed by invisible hands. She was going to hyperventilate, she just knew it. She felt Michael withdraw his arms from under her, pulling back. Well, here it comes, she thought to herself. He was going to realize just how crazy she was…

Michael pulled her shoulder, turning her flat on her back. She closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to see his expression. God she was so stupid!!

“Baby? Baby look at me.”

“Why?” Jana kept her eyes shut tightly.

“Jana, open your eyes. Open them.” She slowly opened her eyes, looking up at Michael staring down at her, a grin on his face.

“I love you, too.” He nuzzled her nose once again, lightly skimming his lips over hers. Jana clenched her eyes shut again, trying to keep the tear from slipping out, but fuck if it didn’t. She felt it roll down her cheek, off to the side of her head and to her ear. She could feel her lips start to tremble, as did Michael.

“Why are you crying, baby?” Michael pulled back from her, staring at her face. He would think that by telling her he loved her she would be happy. What the fuck? Did he do it wrong? He was wracking his brain, trying to think of solutions when Jana opened her eyes and stared back up at him.

“Say it again?” she asked him shyly, a hint of a smile on her face. Michael felt the relief wash over him. Crisis averted – his Jana was back.

“I asked you first, love.” He teased her, leaning back down and kissing the tip of her nose. He moved over and kissed her eyes, kissing the tears that had slipped out and were slipping out still.

“I love you, Michael.”

“And I love you, Jana.” He leaned back once more, staring down at her. “When did you know?” Jana bit at her lower lip, her nerves on edge still. He really loved her?

“I think when I crawled on the couch with you that night. The night before I freaked out about your beard..” she ran her finger along his jaw and felt the stubble, frowning at the memory. She looked back up at him. “You were asleep and I tried to be sneaky and managed to climb in. When I laid down, you wrapped your arm around me. That’s when I knew. I knew then that I loved you.”

Michael laughed out loud, startling Jana. This could not be possible, he thought to himself. He leaned down and kissed her hard once again, smacking his lips against hers.

“What’s so funny?” Jana pulled back, looking at him in confusion.

“Love, I wasn’t asleep that night. I mean - I was at first - but I was awake when you crawled in next to me. I swear I fucking held my breath, trying not to scare you away. When you laid your head down on my chest, I knew. I fucking knew, Jana. Right then and there.” He looked into her eyes, his blue eyes luminous in the dark. “I knew that I would do anything to protect you, and that I intend to love you until I die.”

“Are you serious? You weren’t asleep?” Jana pulled her hands to her mouth in embarrassment. “Wow, I am always sneaking into your bed, aren’t I?”

Michael laughed again, smiling down at her. “I don’t mind you sneaking in my bed. I rather enjoy it and I hope you keep doing it for many years to come, sweetie.”

“So you really love me? Like really you’re in love with me?” Jana asked him again, still needing reassurance. Could all this really be true? Could this gorgeous man really love her?

“Absolutely.” He nuzzled her nose once more. Jana turned her head to the side, still needing answers.

“But what about-” Michael took her bottom lip in between his teeth and lips, sucking on it til she felt dizzy. She stared back at him in a daze, her previous train of thought gone.

“That always works, doesn’t it love?” he murmured to her, planting soft kisses all over her face and jaw, moving down to her neck. “Let’s see if we can keep that pretty mouth occupied for a few hours, shall we? Questions later, right?”

“Michael?”

“Yes love?” he was nibbling on her ear now, his lips and teeth biting ever so slightly, causing chills to run up and down her body.

“I love you.”

“I love you more, baby.”


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I lied about that being the end..One does not simply ignore ideas in their head!! Enjoy :-)

Jana turned the key and stepped inside the entryway, dropping her bag by the small table in the hallway. She dropped her keys on the table, the noise echoing through the room. She had only been in her new condo for a little over a week and the place still felt enormous. Enormous and empty to her as Michael had left last week. He would be back at the end of the month or she would fly to Los Angeles. It was miserable being without him, but it was what it was. For right now this was their life together.

Just as she was walking into the kitchen, she heard a knock on the door. Fuck! She hadn’t even gotten her shoes off yet.These damn solicitors would come by every day, wanting to sell something – vacuum cleaners, soap, air filters – you name it and they were trying to sell it. She almost wished she had rented out an apartment. Much less hassle than these condominiums, but Michael had insisted that she get something bigger than a small apartment, for whatever reason. She did like the space – although it felt like too much right now. Once she got all her stuff in, it would feel more like home. Once Michael got back it would be even better, she smiled to herself.

She walked back over to the door, looking out the peephole, relieved to see it was just the UPS guy. She opened the door.

“Sears?” The guy asked.

“Yes.” Jana answered back.

“I have a few packages for you. Can you sign here please? I’ll go grab the other two.” He handed her the electronic tablet, and she signed. Who the hell would be sending her all this stuff? She hadn’t ordered anything, she was certain of that. He handed her the small package he had in his hands, and walked back out to the truck to get the other packages. Jana looked at the package dubiously, shook it a little, wondering what was inside. Something rattled. The UPS guy came back, with another smaller box and a larger one, about the size of a shoebox.

“Here you go ma’am. Have a good day.” He smiled at her and then headed back to his truck.

Jana took the boxes and walked back inside, locking the door behind her. She walked into the kitchen and set the boxes down on the counter and pulled up a stool to sit on. She opened the first box. Inside was a box from Barneys New York. What the fuck? Wasn’t that an expensive place?? It was a small box, and fairly light. She carefully opened it and her breath caught. It was a beautiful – and expensive looking – silver bracelet with a shark tooth on it. Fuck but it looked very expensive. Givenchy was the name on the tag. That definitely sounded expensive! She carefully pulled the bracelet out, and found a card underneath. She slowly opened it. With a smile, she saw that it was from Michael.

**_Baby, please don’t throw this one away. I had to spend a pretty penny on this one. Love always, Michael_ **

She smiled again, her insides melting at this gesture from Michael. Those damn bracelets again. How she wished she still had hers. Regret washed over her again. Knowing that it couldn’t be helped, she carefully unbuckled the bracelet and put it on, turning her arm to look at it. It was stunning. She reached for the next box, the smallest one. She opened it up, not knowing what to expect. It was a picture of Michael, his hands in front of him, with his fingers in the shape of a heart. There was a note attached to this one as well.

**_So I can be next to you at night – or wherever you decide to put me. Don't forget about me! Love you, Michael_ **

She laughed out loud, and kissed the picture, a silly grin on her face. He was so sweet! How much she loved that man!

She finally opened the bigger box. It was full of shark tooth bracelets like the one from Galveston. What the fuck? There had to be a 100 of them at least. She searched through them, looking for yet another note. There was one attached to the bottom of the box, along with a photo and a bracelet that had been taped up. Was this her old bracelet? How the fuck?? She picked up the note first and read it.

**_Baby, I know that you got pissed at me – rightfully so – and broke the bracelet I gave you. So I repaired it. Yes I found it in your backpack and yes I was snooping. You said it was there and I was just checking, ok? Ok. So I fixed it. I also bought a ton more, since I am sure I will piss you off again at some point and time. You have plenty to break in the future if you feel the need ;-) Just kidding. I love you! I really do!_ **

**_P.S. I still have my bracelet and I wear it. I found it in your suitcase when I was looking for yours. I see you stashed all the pics there. I took those as well, and dealt with them. Hope you don’t mind? Ok here’s a pic to prove it. Love you and can’t wait to see you. Michael_ **

She picked up the picture, now noticing it was indeed a picture of Michael holding up his wrist, the black bracelet in plain view. He had his signature sharky grin on his face. He was so handsome. Jana was momentarily blinded by how gorgeous he was before she came to her senses. He had to be lying. There was no way he did all of this without her knowing. She slid off the stool and ran to her bedroom, going in the closet and pulling out her suitcase and backpack. She sat down on the floor and opened the suitcase, finding it was completely empty. She dug through her backpack, and her broken bracelet was not there. He wasn’t lying.

She sat back on her heels on the floor, shocked and amazed at Michael. She stared down at the bracelet on her arm, her mouth agape. She really, really loved that man.

 

* * *

Here's Jana's bracelet :-)  
 

 


End file.
